|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 6/30/2008 5:02:38 AM
|
|
|
OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 1825
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
Status: offline
|
quote:
At the beggining or before a relationship you should focus more on the girl to get to know her.
That was kind of my point in my post. However, I do agree with the OP about not doing anything physically before marriage. Not even kissing. I know from my experience in my younger days, one can THINK that surely one will marry that person, but you can never be 100% certain who your spouse will be until you have actually married them, in my opinion that is.
I just checked the rules to make sure I was even allowed to post in here. Turns out I am, but can't sound preachy..so just to let ya'll know, just giving my opinion, but not trying to sound preachy.
FWIW..Although I didn't go all the way, I did get a little too cuddly and more with one guy once (not the guy in the other post), and I still know him and his wife today (he wasn't married at the time of the incident), and when I am around them, I STILL feel regret that I made out with her husband, even though it wasn't her husband at the time.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 6/30/2008 5:15:38 AM >
_____________________________
Click here to hear the song behind my user name.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 6/30/2008 5:58:14 AM
|
|
|
DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9435
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
|
Personally, I couldn't go without physical interaction. I'm someone that connects moreso to a person through physical interaction, be it through a relative, friend, or my relationship.
I never grew up with rules on dating or courting (I just recently heard about this strange concept), I never really received much talks about relationship management and whatnot. All my relationship intelligence was learnt over studying myself and my own capabilities to be self-composed. I can be physically interactive because I'm able to keep my hormones in check in such situations. I could never "go all the way" even if I wanted to, it's something my heart is set against until I'm married, and that's the limitation I've put on myself.
I think setting such extreme limitations, especially if parents enforce them, is only going to cause further temptations to disobey them. I know in my thinking, if my parents would've said, "Randy, don't you DARE even touch her hand!", that would've only furthered the desire to do so because its putting emphasize on it. We have full capabilities to control what happens based on a God given ability called self control. In my opinion, there isn't a point for crazy stipulations. That doesn't mean you can't set some limitations for yourself, though.
Again for the billionth time, I have no problem loving on my woman, because I am without a shadow of a doubt convinced that she is the one I'll marry. Some may say I'm foolish, but whatever, I won't deny what God has given me.
_____________________________
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 6/30/2008 3:51:35 PM
|
|
|
Norny
Posts: 26
Joined: 6/24/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
|
wow...reading over this thread makes me feel like a horrible person. I always love to be physical with a girl that i am in a relationship with (not sex...still a virgin) i just feel more connected with that girl.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 6/30/2008 8:08:01 PM
|
|
|
PrincessButtercup
Posts: 9828
Joined: 4/21/2007
From: not my home...
Status: offline
|
I love touching my guy. It would be odd if I didn't.
_____________________________
I need you more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart...
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 6/30/2008 9:37:55 PM
|
|
|
EternalGamer
Posts: 104
Joined: 9/14/2007
From: Earthly Home: Kansas; Eternal home: Heaven
Status: offline
|
I guess everbody has different opinions. I suppose the best way to do it is to follow whatever God tells you to do. Ashlandnichole PM'd me the other day asking me if the situation with my older sister has made me move toward or away courtship. This is an exact quote of my anwser.
quote:
Seeing my sister rebel has indeed caused me to listen to my parents more. Ever since she left, my mom has cried at least twice a week, and her heart is just broken. I don't see how a person can be so cruel. It made me mad at my sister and her boyfriend. That is the primary reason why I am so courtship-focused. The whole situation with my sister has driven me away from the practice of dating, because I don't want another family to have to go through what my family had to go through. Right now I live in Kansas, and my sister is living in Michigan, and she doesn't even care. My brother and I lost our big sister, and my parents lost their only daughter.
I guess this experience has made me view dating as a bad thing, and I still disagree with it. But what I am reading from you guys and what you believe, it seems like you don't exactly believe in courtship, but not "worldly dating" either. It's like a whole new type of finding a relationship, and I respect that. I will continue to stay with courtship, but I also respect the rest of you and what you are doing.
_____________________________
<----It's a Nerd, It's a Geek! It's...
EternalGamer
AKA Kody
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/1/2008 2:10:32 AM
|
|
|
ChiefWannahakaloogie
Posts: 6377
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: under your bed
Status: offline
|
i've had bad experiences with siblings involving dating and relationships, too. my whole family was hurt by one person's actions who was very close to me at one point. God reassured us through the whole thing to just trust in Him and to learn to forgive. we did that. things are still hard at times between the people involved, but He's made it easier to move past it.
oh and my mom cried too. lots. but after struggling for years we, as a family, let God in to heal us and we're learning to move past it all. its hard but He's used the mistakes we've all made in our situation to teach us new things. i've learned alot through it.
_____________________________
Ich bin eine wütende bäcker frau, und iche backe dich
*food*
Ice cream love
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/1/2008 10:29:37 AM
|
|
|
slushie
Posts: 2280
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline
|
It depends. Are you focusing on the rules themselves or on God? If you focus mainly on the do's and don'ts, as cool as they are, you'll only feel like disobeying.
I like touching, myself. Simple touching like holding hands and hugs. But making out with someone? Kissing? Those long hugs where you stay like that for an hour? That's a no-no for me and could lead to something worse. Think about the consequences!!! Know your limits.
Kody, I like what you said.
_____________________________
Testify to Love
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/1/2008 10:33:19 PM
|
|
|
ShutterBox
Posts: 1048
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
well sure, it's hard not to be physically involved to a certain limit. hugs are normal even among friends! But as slushie said...those long hugs, making out, it could easily lead to deeper things which are considered immoral outside of marriage.
_____________________________
The Picture Muse
Adopted Sibs:
Rae
Elizabeth
Nikki
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/2/2008 12:18:12 AM
|
|
|
DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9435
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: ShutterBox
those long hugs, making out, it could easily lead to deeper things which are considered immoral outside of marriage.
Not all people are that weak.
I've been involved in long hugs and making out, and never did I want to go further. Why? My heart is set against it until marriage. Again, self control goes a long way.
Hugging and kissing may not be for some people who would easily fall from it, but it's unfair to say it would lead to immoral things for those who aren't as weak.
_____________________________
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/2/2008 12:51:04 AM
|
|
|
Norny
Posts: 26
Joined: 6/24/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
|
quote:
Hugging and kissing may not be for some people who would easily fall from it, but it's unfair to say it would lead to immoral things for those who aren't as weak.
i agree 100% I've done both and have never gone any futher either....it just takes a sense of self preservation and a little will power.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/2/2008 2:15:03 PM
|
|
|
ShutterBox
Posts: 1048
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
I'm second oldest and have done nothing, Kon :P
It's popular opinion that making out is fine, but I just don't know about sticking my tongue in someone's mouth and vice versa until I've married them, but that's just me.
And you're right self control does exist in some people.....It's rare seeing as how so many DON'T have it today.
_____________________________
The Picture Muse
Adopted Sibs:
Rae
Elizabeth
Nikki
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/2/2008 3:35:16 PM
|
|
|
DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9435
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
|
You can't have more willpower than me. That's... impossible.
_____________________________
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/2/2008 3:50:16 PM
|
|
|
Konstantinos
Posts: 8540
Joined: 4/14/2005
From: Greece Thessaloniki
Status: offline
|
ive had it for 20 years.
_____________________________
I'm best friends with the boogie man.
I'm a beast.
I'm a HH.
Tiger hug.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/2/2008 3:55:47 PM
|
|
|
DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9435
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
|
I beg to differ.
_____________________________
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/3/2008 3:08:33 PM
|
|
|
Lizzy_ard
Posts: 1125
Joined: 2/8/2008
From: NY
Status: offline
|
Permission denied.
_____________________________
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:6-7
My blog
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/3/2008 5:25:17 PM
|
|
|
_MavericK_
Posts: 6178
Joined: 4/4/2007
From: Texas, wild and free
Status: offline
|
I don't date.
I'm not being courted.
I'm in love with my best friend who won't get off his goofy naive butt and do more than knock me down a slide with his feet.
However it works out is fine by me. I don't really have a preference. No ice cream until cake and you're fine. But you touch me and you die.
I think everyone's covered my own opinion well enough that I don't have to say more.
_____________________________
<--- story of my life.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/3/2008 8:10:25 PM
|
|
|
DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9435
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
|
Who in their right mind would want to touch you anyways?
_____________________________
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/3/2008 10:34:12 PM
|
|
|
PrincessButtercup
Posts: 9828
Joined: 4/21/2007
From: not my home...
Status: offline
|
Be nice! I would tickle her just to make her giggle endlessly.
_____________________________
I need you more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart...
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/3/2008 11:14:25 PM
|
|
|
DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9435
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
|
But you're not in your right mind, so you don't qualify.
_____________________________
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/4/2008 6:53:12 AM
|
|
|
Konstantinos
Posts: 8540
Joined: 4/14/2005
From: Greece Thessaloniki
Status: offline
|
i say no ice cream till spaghetti. cake is for losers
_____________________________
I'm best friends with the boogie man.
I'm a beast.
I'm a HH.
Tiger hug.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/4/2008 1:44:31 PM
|
|
|
ChiefWannahakaloogie
Posts: 6377
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: under your bed
Status: offline
|
i wont mention the fact that you just asked me for a cake recipe then.
_____________________________
Ich bin eine wütende bäcker frau, und iche backe dich
*food*
Ice cream love
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Dating or Courtship? - 7/5/2008 2:34:24 PM
|
|
|
rae_of_light
Posts: 3557
Joined: 2/15/2007
From: The true North strong and free!
Status: offline
|
I appreciate the input of a mature adult in this discussion, thank you OneOfHisJewels! I'm sorry that you had to go through that with that guy. However, I think it's given you a view of a kind of courtship that, from my little experience, is far from normal. Me and my youth group have had the opportunity to see firsthand how courtship should be done. Our youth leader is courting (and getting married to in August!) this wonderful guy. He holds her father in the highest regard as a fellow pastor, and is very respectful to him as a future father-in-law. He has a good relationship with her father and the rest of her family, they are all good friends, but there is absolutely NO question in anyone's mind as to who he's REALLY here for! (he lives about 10 hours away, and can only come up to visit on the occasional weekend, but that's not actually too bad, considering he lived in Ghana for the first year of their courtship.)
So, I think that maybe your concept of courtship has been somewhat clouded by that bad experience. Courtship is a wonderful way to do things!
Oh, and about that "absolutely no contact" thing... all the courting couples I've known have held hands, hugged, and put their arms around each other. I've never seen any kissing, thank GOODNESS, but I dunno about that.
Well, that's just the 2 cents of a girl who's never getting married, courtship or no courtship. 
_____________________________
I feel alive
And it hurts for a change
And looking back and it's hard to believe
That I was cool
With the days that I wasted complacent and tasteless and bored but
That was yesterday
"Never Going Back to OK", the Afters
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
