RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question for singles
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/5/2008 9:33:27 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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I am 33 and have two kids, ages 12 and 15. I definitely do want more kids, and would have them however late they happened to come along.
I am 20 years and two days older than my youngest sister, so it doesn't seem at all odd to me to have a child later in life. Also I am quiverful, and that would lead to the same conclusion.
I was NOT happy that I only had two kids when my ex left us, however, my hands are most definitely full, lol.
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/11/2008 6:32:10 AM
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mutinywxgirl
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I have never wanted to physically have children. I am not opposed to adopting older kids if/when I ever get married. But, they have to be older kids.
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/11/2008 1:37:18 PM
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RosieCotton
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but, in the end.....it is the Lord that opens and closes the womb.
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/11/2008 2:24:49 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: Godhead
Apparently men can still conceive children at 100 years.
I have plenty of time 
not to be a downer but i just read this week how men have a biological clock ticking too beginning in mid-30s:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/jul/07/health.children
The father's age also affected rates of miscarriage. If a father was over 34, the miscarriage rate was 16.7 percent. Between the ages of 35 and 39, it went up to 19.5 percent. And if the father was older than 44, it jumped to 32.4 percent -- which means nearly one-third of the pregnancies ended in miscarriages.
the sperm just changes leading to genetic conditions such as birth defects, autism, and schizophrenia. it is always changing and sometimes in beneficial ways but not after a certain age. i had always just thought it was the woman's age as a big factor. i did some more searching, and there's been quite a few articles and studies done the last couple years about male fertility. i guess i better get going if i want any more naturally :D but i'm a huge fan of adoption so i'm cool with that too ...
Did those studies take into consideration the age of the mother? Just curious how they would accomplish a study like that.  (sorry I don't have time to read the whole article right now.I'll have to go back and read it later.)
And I have met plenty of people who had defected children when they were in their early 20's. There is a risk in having kids no matter what. The parents of THIS little girl were quite young when they had her, as were the parents THESE GIRLS.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 7/11/2008 2:37:30 PM >
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/11/2008 2:37:50 PM
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Tinkerbell_
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He's not saying it doesn't happen to younger couples, just that the risks increase with age.
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/11/2008 2:53:17 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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I know, but I dunno, that always seems to be a reason for JUDGING people who choose to have children later. My mom was 38 when she had my youngest sister who is severely disabled. And some people would tell us it was all her fault for having a baby that late(even though her and my dad had been trying to prevent pregnancy at the time anyway, and they got things permanently taken care of after having her). Do you know how bad that hurt? As if we weren't hurting enough already. Not to mention, that yes, the Downs' syndrome part of my sister's disability could have been related to my parents' age, but the other stuff, the cerebal palsy, brain damage, and loss of vision, had to do with birth trauma(she was born during a hurricane, and the barometic pressure caused premature birth and other complications and the hospital staff also did some things wrong).
Then I've babysat for plenty of people who had their babies at 40 or 45 and have had perfectly healthy babies.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if people don't twist statitstics to scare people.
Like I said before, my younger sister lives in New York city, and many people there marry later. She said all kinds of older women there are having healthy babies at an older age without invitro or anything. My cousin also, is in her early 40's and was married late (well it's her 2nd marriage, but her first husband just wanted American citizenship  , and thankfully they had no kids, her second husband is a much better guy), and about a year and a half ago gave birth to a healthy baby boy, again without invitro.
I think some statistics come up the way they do because, for years more people got married younger, had kids younger, and CHOSE to stop sooner.
P.S. My cousin was NOT like on the sitcoms where they marry someone and plan to divorce for a friend to get citizenship. She really did love him, and thought he loved her too. She was shocked when she found out the truth.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 7/11/2008 3:01:36 PM >
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/11/2008 3:45:35 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
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there is no statistic twisting in showing that dna breaks down resulting in lower quality sperm the older a man gets. the rest of our bodies certainly do. age isn't the only factor. diabetics have a significant decrease in their ability to repair sperm DNA, and once this is damaged it cannot be restored. a person's lifestyle such as diet and smoking plays a part. it's just something to be aware of that's all. if having children is our goal, we should be realistic about it and make any necessary adjustments. age isn't something we can change, but it doesn't mean we should be in ignorance about it. all this being said we have the Lord as our shepherd however i am not expecting him to necessarily alter the rules of the universe that He put in place due to my choices.
p.s. i have relatives born with birth defects and don't think anyone in the family would trade them for anyone else.
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/13/2008 9:17:06 AM
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ebony101
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I do agree with fearnoevil. Our bodies age as we grow older, & things don't operate as they used to. I mean that's just plain facts. Sperms and eggs (ova) aren't going to be the sole parts of one's body to resist effects of the aging process.
We must be realistic. Now let's all say with fearnoevil: The Lord is my shepherd...
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/13/2008 5:39:47 PM
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FunBetty
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ebony101
I do agree with fearnoevil. Our bodies age as we grow older, & things don't operate as they used to. I mean that's just plain facts. Sperms and eggs (ova) aren't going to be the sole parts of one's body to resist effects of the aging process.
We must be realistic. Now let's all say with fearnoevil: The Lord is my shepherd...
Oh, don't say things like that Ebony! You mean....we're getting OLD? We're aging? How did that happen? And how do we make it stop??!?? 
<sigh>
(But yeah I agree.)
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/13/2008 11:01:05 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ebony101
I do agree with fearnoevil. Our bodies age as we grow older, & things don't operate as they used to. I mean that's just plain facts. Sperms and eggs (ova) aren't going to be the sole parts of one's body to resist effects of the aging process.
We must be realistic. Now let's all say with fearnoevil: The Lord is my shepherd...
I AM realistic, but I also cling to verses like the ones that remind us that with God all things are possible, and that God does care about the desires of our heart. This thread was started as a way for people to express their desires, and then it seemed like it kind of turned into a thread about people needing to be realistic about biology, and what risks people should and shouldn't take, which is really for a topic for another thread. I will fear no evil, if you want to say for yourself you don't want to take certain risks, that's fine, but I really don't believe it was right to try to steer everyone else in a certain direction.
I also want to add that I would be just as content as an adoptive mother as a biological one.
I also want to point out that Michelle Duggar is in her 40's and only about a year ago gave birth to her 17th healthy child, and is pregnant with her 18th now.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 7/13/2008 11:16:50 PM >
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/14/2008 12:18:56 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
This thread was started as a way for people to express their desires, and then it seemed like it kind of turned into a thread about people needing to be realistic about biology, and what risks people should and shouldn't take, which is really for a topic for another thread. I will fear no evil, if you want to say for yourself you don't want to take certain risks, that's fine, but I really don't believe it was right to try to steer everyone else in a certain direction.
no it wasn't. did you read the OP (original post) quoted below?
quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
do you want to have children at an older age? And I say older ....
Why or why not?
seems quite on topic to me. sorry you got offended, that wasn't the intention.
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/14/2008 1:32:14 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
This thread was started as a way for people to express their desires, and then it seemed like it kind of turned into a thread about people needing to be realistic about biology, and what risks people should and shouldn't take, which is really for a topic for another thread. I will fear no evil, if you want to say for yourself you don't want to take certain risks, that's fine, but I really don't believe it was right to try to steer everyone else in a certain direction.
no it wasn't. did you read the OP (original post) quoted below?
quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
do you want to have children at an older age? And I say older ....
Why or why not?
That sounds to me like my assessment was correct. She was asking each person if they THEMSELVES did or did not (still) desire to have children. Then you started telling other people why they shouldn't desire to have children. She was asking for each person to state THEIR OWN opinion about THEMSELVES. If you decide for YOURSELF you don't want to take certain biological risks and/or don't desire (more) chldren(sorry, don't know if you have any or not), that's fine, but don't stand in judgement of what others choose to do, or what desires they have or what risks they are willing to take before the Lord.
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"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/14/2008 1:34:46 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
seems quite on topic to me.
Well, I didn't think so, but we can agree to disagree.
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"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/14/2008 2:16:56 PM
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trainfan
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
This thread was started as a way for people to express their desires, and then it seemed like it kind of turned into a thread about people needing to be realistic about biology, and what risks people should and shouldn't take, which is really for a topic for another thread. I will fear no evil, if you want to say for yourself you don't want to take certain risks, that's fine, but I really don't believe it was right to try to steer everyone else in a certain direction.
no it wasn't. did you read the OP (original post) quoted below?
quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
do you want to have children at an older age? And I say older ....
Why or why not?
That sounds to me like my assessment was correct. She was asking each person if they THEMSELVES did or did not (still) desire to have children. Then you started telling other people why they shouldn't desire to have children. She was asking for each person to state THEIR OWN opinion about THEMSELVES. If you decide for YOURSELF you don't want to take certain biological risks and/or don't desire (more) chldren(sorry, don't know if you have any or not), that's fine, but don't stand in judgement of what others choose to do, or what desires they have or what risks they are willing to take before the Lord.
Good post OOHJ!
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/14/2008 2:31:17 PM
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Tinkerbell_
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
This thread was started as a way for people to express their desires, and then it seemed like it kind of turned into a thread about people needing to be realistic about biology, and what risks people should and shouldn't take, which is really for a topic for another thread. I will fear no evil, if you want to say for yourself you don't want to take certain risks, that's fine, but I really don't believe it was right to try to steer everyone else in a certain direction.
no it wasn't. did you read the OP (original post) quoted below?
quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
do you want to have children at an older age? And I say older ....
Why or why not?
seems quite on topic to me. sorry you got offended, that wasn't the intention.
Actually you're right on topic, Ed. The risks are definitely something to keep into consideration for having biological children at a later age. Not to mention that it does get harder to adopt when you're older as well. So waiting could pose problems in the long run.
I bolded the part in my question where I said, 'why or why not?' which is what Ed responded to. That would be a definite reason why not in some opinions.
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RE: To parent, or not to parent...that is the question ... - 7/14/2008 6:59:39 PM
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utilityfielder
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Is it fair to have children if you will probably reach your life expectancy by the time the children finish high school?
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) amount of Downs babies and autistic children. 
