RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a homeschool chat thread!
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 9:45:43 AM
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his_chosen
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Donna--Not quite understanding. The hook&eyes are just to keep kids out of your room? I don't think the rational person would have a problem with it. But social workers might be another story.
Sarah--keep trying!!!
Jennifer--uh, well doxies are that way. I mean, they were bred to go down badger holes...
Speaking of dogs... The other day after my run it was still cool so I decided to take my dog for a walk. She used to run long distances with me, but yesterday was done after an easy 1.5mile walk. We ran into a neighbor walking her dog. She has a mini schnauzer that is quite young and hyper and not well disciplined. My dog is a Great Pyrenees and really wants nothing to do with other dogs. She was sitting and quietly waiting for me. The schnauzer was dancing around on a retracto leash, wanting to play. Eventually, my dog had enough so she stood up, lowered her head into "play" pose, then whomped the other dog with her paw. The schnauzer SCREAMED and hid behind my neighbor! My dog just sat down and looked up at me looking totally innocent. I sorta felt bad about it but not really. The other dog asked for it and my dog put her in her place. Most of all, though, the other dog wasn't hurt.
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 9:56:24 AM
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Ellie-Mae
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Donna, would door jams work... you know, the little triangle that you put under the edge of the door to keep it in place and then remove when not in use?
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 10:20:28 AM
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ezri
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Point B, NC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
Donna, would door jams work... you know, the little triangle that you put under the edge of the door to keep it in place and then remove when not in use?
What about a door knob that had one of those bedroom locks on it with the lock on your side? You know the kind you can push a hanger into and unlock in an emergency? Like this one.
They might say something about it being on with the lock on your bedroom side and not the other rooms side but it would be less noticeable that a chain lock and being it is an old house they might never even notice it to begin with.
What we did when we worried about midnight food runs was put alarms on the doors. There are the magnet ones that attach at the top. They go off when the door is opened a crack if done right. Then there are the ones that hang on metal doorknobs that go off even if you touch the knob. those last ones can be a real pain though if a child wants to annoy you they can sit and play a tune by touching the knob.
~e
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 10:57:22 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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quote:
Jennifer--uh, well doxies are that way. I mean, they were bred to go down badger holes...
No, it's the doxie that got attacked.
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 11:10:38 AM
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his_chosen
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Jennifer--as in doxies can be the aggressor. Brave (stupid) enough to go after another animal, but generally end up on the losing end! One of the other therapy dog handlers has three dogs--a LH mini doxie, a boxer/akita mix (60lbs) and a pit/boxer mix (50lbs). Guess who rules the roost? The little doxie! It's just their temperment to be feisty!
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You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your face.
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 11:14:12 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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Yeah, Sadie tries to be top dog. Poor Gus is having an awful week--away from his home and the chickens he loves to hunt, lol. I think Sadie pushed it too far and that's why he attacked. Cindy's dog, DJ, just kind of ignored both Beemer and Sadie, so there wasn't a problem. But DJ was only there a couple of days--poor Gus has had to live with that dog for a week now! LOL
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 2:14:32 PM
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shadowspring
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As far as locks go with DHS (in my experience):
The lock to your bedroom could be a latch and hook on your side of the door that goes between bedrooms. It is reasonable to want privacy.
BUT the lock from his door to the hallway CANNOT be on the outside. This is for safety reasons. You cannot lock a child in their room because it is not safe. How would they get out in case of fire? What if they have a nightmare and need comfort? My dd started a fire in her room once with a candle. No locks on a door that a child cannot open in case of emergency.
All bathroom locks should be on the inside of the bathroom, so that the person inside the bathroom can have privacy.
Are you saying Nick's room ONLY has access through the bathroom or your bedroom? That is tricky. The wedge doorjam sounds like a great solution. Just be sure and remove it before you go to sleep. in case of emergency.
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"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 5:22:41 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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Ok, I have a bit of a dilemma.
There is another mom at swim team who is a bit odd. However, she does chat with me, and generally I am happy to talk to her. But for some reason I think she has decided that we belong to the same 'religion'. So the things she says to me have that basis. For instance, today she said, 'So, do YOU have your food storage yet?' because apparently her 'church' preaches that you should have a good amount of food put away (who knows what that is in preparation for!)
Well, I know enough about this religion that in the beginning, because I simply knew what she was talking about, I nodded or whatnot, not realizing that she thought I belonged. This morning I realized that she thinks I am member, and I don't know how to disabuse her of that notion without being rude or making her feel like I was dishonest.
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Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 5:28:23 PM
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ezri
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Donna,
is there anyway to put a door in that would go from his bedroom to the hallway? I dunno your layout- I do know what you mean about having to go through a bedroom to get to a bedroom in old houses though.
~e
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<-- My Handsome Honey.
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 5:50:33 PM
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cynthia
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Jennifer, If I were in that situation, I would tell her, "I'm sorry. I think you have the impression that I'm _____, but I'm not."
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 5:52:59 PM
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cynthia
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Donna, Has Brian spoken specifically with Nick to explain that what he said was bad and unhealthy? Has Brian been instructing him in what is and is not healthy appropriate behavior? I mean as in sit down, father to son discussions on a regular basis? Also has Brian spoken to him about the dangers of illegal drug use, what it looks like and how to report it?
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When you stand up for what’s right, don’t expect the one in the wrong to be happy about. He may get very angry. That doesn’t mean you should back down and give in. It means you need to stand firm and diligently pray for him and for yourself.
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 7:43:42 PM
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JuliaHop
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Hope everyone is having a wonderful 4th of July!!!!
Donna-If it were me, I would be very cautious to use anything to block a door that is the emergency exit from a room. There are too many what if's involved.
A door alarm might be a good idea.
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 7:53:12 PM
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shadowspring
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During which times they would most certainly be awake: so the rubber doorstop would work perfectly.
Quietly put in place, quietly removed, with no risk to anyone.
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"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 9:44:51 PM
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cindybode
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Jen, I'm sorry about Sadie, but yeah, she does tend to try to be top dog. I could tell that DJ was starting to get sick of her when we were there. If we'd been there longer, she might have felt the need to do something more than just ignore her. Sadie just doesn't know when to quit sometimes. She tried to corner DJ in your mom's backyard and DJ barked and snapped, but fortunately Sadie had the sense to back off. I have no trouble believing that she went too far this time.
Donna, I'm thinking that as long as Nick has one door that is not locked there would not be a problem. Just make sure the door to your room is unlocked before you go to sleep. Most kids don't have more than one door to their room, so I don't see that there would be an issue as long as he's able to get out through your room.
My dog is going nuts with the fireworks. Somebody pass me an Ativan (for the dog, of course). 
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 10:28:12 PM
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PrincessDonna
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To clarify...there are no hallways upstairs. It's an old house. At the top of the stairs, there is Noah/Levi's room and Hannah/new baby's room. You go through Hannah's room to get to ours, which opens to both the bathroom and Nick's room. Does that make sense? That's part of the reason for putting him in that room...so he has to go THROUGH our room to get to anyone else, and I am a light enough sleeper that I would know if he did that.
His new room has a door to our room and a door to the bathroom. The door between his room and ours opens into his room, so a doorjamb would not work. And yes, we are only needing a lock during "alone time", during which I promise to remain awake, Nick would be sleeping anyway, and it would be unlocked afterward. A door alarm would not work for this purpose. A lock on our side of the door would, but again...DSS might not like that. Well...it's either that or risk him walking in on something, which I will NOT do, especially with the porn and such he has seen. 
Cynthia, Brian has had many conversations, as have I. Short and simple. But Nick is...well...he's a kid who truly does need to be medicated for ADHD and even then, he just doesn't focus on conversations. It's not sinking in. He doesn't get WHY it's not okay to talk about your sister that way. He doesn't get WHY watching certain things is not good, even if you know people that watch those things. I'm not sure how to explain it, other than...he is emotionally immature and always has been. Honestly, he and Hannah function on about the same level for reasoning skills.
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I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 10:48:34 PM
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zoebob
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So DOnna, he can go from his room to the bathroom and then out into your room right? Can you lock the door between your rooms as long as there is a clear path of exit through the bathroom? Could you use a door jam on the door between your room and the bathroom?
ETA: Are the doors from your room into the bathroom and his room close enough that you could hook a bungie cord to them so that neither one could be opened when you don't want it to?
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/4/2008 11:45:55 PM
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Karaboo2
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Donna, you've already made reference to the hook and eye. Yes, DCFS would take major issue with it if they saw it ... so what about only screwing it into the doorframe when you and dh need that private time?? We used to use one on ds' door prior to getting the door alarm, as he would basically sleepwalk during naptimes. On the occasion where we had DCFS at our house (because of dd's bipolar) we just unscrewed the hook & eye so it wasn't physically there when they inspected the house. Only one worker ever asked about the small hole in the doorframe. We told her that we have a hook and eye we put there whenever we wash the floors, to keep the kids out of the room until it is dry enough that they won't fall and get hurt (we omitted the part about the daytime sleepwalking, as it is illegal, really, to use it at all when a child is in the room ... unlawful confinement or something to that effect)
**And before anyone asks ... at night ds would fall into such a deep sleep that he wouldn't move at all. It was just the lighter naptime sleep where he would wander about without realizing what he was doing. Since it was daytime, I had no problem with latching his door for the hour ... he has now outgrown that.
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RE: July ... picnics, pools, and parties ... and a home... - 7/5/2008 9:54:48 AM
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PrincessDonna
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zoebob
So DOnna, he can go from his room to the bathroom and then out into your room right?
Yes. Brian is now saying he does want to put a hook/eye latch on the door to the bathroom, so we don't have to worry about whether that door is locked or not when we use the bathroom. So that door would be locked all the time, making his only door to our room.
quote:
Can you lock the door between your rooms as long as there is a clear path of exit through the bathroom?
How would there be a clear path of exit through the bathroom? Yes, there is another window there, but the only doors are to our room and Nick's new room.
quote:
Could you use a door jam on the door between your room and the bathroom?
Yes, that one opens into our room.
quote:
ETA: Are the doors from your room into the bathroom and his room close enough that you could hook a bungie cord to them so that neither one could be opened when you don't want it to?
No, because our door to the bathroom is between them, at a 90 degree angle to them.
quote:
so what about only screwing it into the doorframe when you and dh need that private time??
Brian says it will strip out the hole to do that too much.
And we never know when DSS might stop by because his mother made some idiotic claim. I wouldn't be able to take it off before they came.
Hmmm...I still can't think of another solution. Although we could tell DSS we keep it locked when Nick isn't there, to keep the little kids out of his stuff. Or that it's leftover from the days the room was for storage...there was already a lock there at some point. They'd probably still make us take it off though, huh?
_____________________________
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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