RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the one that God meant for you?
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/16/2008 3:23:47 AM
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Keabird
Posts: 850
Joined: 4/11/2005
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After a broken marriage where I got married very young and lasted 14 years, and a second one which has been very rocky but more "desired" than the first one, and years of Bible reading and praying, I have concluded the following (for now):
If we truly take the time to wait on the Lord and ask His confirmation and direction, He will give us the best plan of all. Even that best plan will have its trials, because such is the human life with human sin. But it perhaps would not be as hard as a plan where we did not wait on Him.
However, if we do not wait on Him, but make other decisions He still remains with us to help it work out for the best. I conclude that these are second-best plans, or third-best, or whatever. Regardless, He expects us to stand by the decisions we make, and to look to Him to work things out for His glory and our growth, even as He did with Abraham, Sarah and Hagar. Abraham perhaps took the second-best plan! But God used it anyway - He knew what Abraham would do.
If we make foolish decisions, they can be forgiven and we can look to Him to help bring good out of our foolishness.
At no time do I see that God says that a foolish decision means we can neglect responsibility that came as a result of the foolishness. But He can help us through even the hardest responsibility that has arisen as a result of our foolishness.
Hindsight is usually a great thing. I look back on my first marriage now, see my foolish decision in going into it, and yet can also see that God was with us to help us. There was a deceit issue there that was never dealt with, and I believe that may have been hindering the real progress all along. But it's water under the bridge now.
Some would say I entered into a foolish second marriage, yet I still look at it and see God;s hand of confirmation. Perhaps the way there was a little higgledepiggledy, but it seems to me it was God's plan. Whether it was or not, I have a responsibility to it, and to trust Him in it and be a great wife, as He enables.
So whether there is a right person or not becomes a moot point - what is left is trusting God and meeting our responsibilities before Him.
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/16/2008 6:39:28 PM
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dsegars
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Joined: 7/13/2008
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Your situation struck such a cord with me, only I am a wife whose husband feels he hasn't met his soul mate and would be happier with someone else. I can tell you it started with entertaining those type of thoughts. The battle begins in the mind and heart. Believe me when I tell you--- you do not want to go down that path. Divorce is painful for your children your inlaws, everyone around you. You think you could be happier with "the one" but that new relationship will be marred by the destruction you leave in the lives of those around you. God gives us directions on how we should live for a very good reason. He desires to protect us from what sin can do in our lives. Please take my advice. Guard your mind, thoughts and heart. Whenever you have those feelings toward other men---pray!!!pray!!!pray!!. I also recommend you find an accountablility partner--. As for your feelings about your husband--this is difficult. But I agree with others in the thread--love isn't just about feelings. Take baby steps. Change your behaviors and do something for your husband. Try praying for him. He may not change but you can with God's help show him love. Believe me when I say I understand what it is like to be in your type of relationship. It must be difficult for your husband as well. My guess is even your non-verbal communication is sending rejection messages. Such pain. Try making a list of what is good about him. God guide you.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/21/2008 10:36:03 PM
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scottiezsister
Posts: 51
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
quote:
, even if it wasn't the original intention of God or the one we should have chosen.
This is a topic that I am trying to figure out and understand. How can you possibly know for sure who God wants for you?
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 8/10/2008 8:38:50 PM
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carl54
Posts: 56
Joined: 5/31/2005
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I know my wife was the one for me because we fell crazily in love with each other, we were both strong Christians, we prayed together for direction as we dated, we felt very good with each other and we believe God blessed our decision to get married. With that, we committed to spend the rest of our life together, putting any other relationships we had prior to that in the forgotten past and interests in any future relationship with others out of the question. We know we belong to each other by our faith in God and answer to prayers.
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Walk in the Sirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal 5:16
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