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Am I overreacting? - 7/11/2008 11:20:29 AM
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RubySparkles
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From: United Kingdom
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I've been at my church for three years and I've never really felt settled, but reluctant to leave. My problem is that I don't really feel particularly close to anyone at church, I'd be reluctant to discuss anything personal with anyone. I have friends who are christians but they go to different churches. It's important to me to feel close to those at church because I don't have any close family other than my mother.
I've asked God what to do and last weekend I attended a one day prayer retreat with 8 members of the church and the Pastor. By the end of the day I felt glad I'd attended. It was fun & I started to feel like part of a group. I felt like I'd not had an opportunity to get to know anyone until now. I felt like God had wanted me to be in this place for so long to teach me to wait for things to develop rather than finding an instant church family. Some of the people who attended the retreat are on Facebook so I contacted them and looked at their photos.
It's obvious that a lot of the women my age already mingle a lot outside of church but don't invite me. There were photos of them at each other's homes and one set of photos was of a child's first birthday party that I wasn't invited to. I just feel really hurt and angry. I've been there for three years and it's like nobody likes me & I've no idea why. I talk to people after the service and they act like they like me but I'm excluded from all their social events. I've tried to fit in. I noticed ages ago that they mingle in little groups in church but I didn't know I was actually definitely excluded. There's more, I could go on and on. I stay there because I'm used to it, it's familiar, even if no-one likes me. I'm too scared to leave.
I know church is not a social club, but like I say, I have no close family but my mother who doesn't always understand so I got really happy when I thought I'd made some friends.
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/11/2008 11:50:45 AM
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rgod
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I can definitely understand feeling left out and a bit hurt - I've been there many many times - because I'm almost always the "new kid on the block". But it seems to me that perhaps you might be overreacting a bit - though it is a bit hard to tell. Often churches have cliques, but the question is whether those cliques are open to new people being part. So, for a little bit longer, try not to take it all so personally. Have the others in the group been around each other for a long time? If so, they might be very used to doing things together and might not even think about inviting other people. Or are they letting in new people who come to the church, but just not you? If so, then it might be more deliberate - or it might be that you've not given "signals" that you would like to be part of the group. Or, that group might not be the right one for you. (This happened to me once - I wanted to be a part of a group - but later I found out that the people were really really really carnal - but that is another story.)
In any event, try to assume the best. More often than not, these things are truly oversights. There was a group in my church that was like that - they didn't deliberately exclude people, but they were so in tune with one another that it made others feel a bit left out. There were a few people within the group that were friendly and open - so I tried to reach out to them. Perhaps this is why God has you there (so that you can learn to flex your "friendship" muscles and learn how to be proactive in making friends?) For example, instead of looking at the group as a single entity, perhaps you can you focus on getting to know one or two individuals in the group better. Talking after church was a great first step. Going to the prayer retreat was another great step. You might then want to take the next step, like invite someone to lunch, go to a movie - or if there is something else happening (a concert or speaker at another church or something) you can suggest that. Another great thing to do is to befreind people who are not really part of the group either. It might be someone new to the church, just like you. And don't rule out people who are younger, older, or who might have a different background than you. You never know where you can find friends.
You sound to me like you are on the right track. If this is where God has you, just hang in there.
< Message edited by rgod -- 7/12/2008 12:44:08 AM >
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/11/2008 12:42:04 PM
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amybreit
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I know just what you mean. We have small groups at our church & many of the ladies in ours are younger & all hang out together & play Bunco (I finally had to ask what Bunco was)! I feel left out sometimes & like I don't fit in, but we are definitely at different stages in life. I try not to let those feelings run rampant. I think I tend to read more into people's actions especially when I'm feeling insecure. We were at a get together last night & I found myself sitting outside with the guys (I tend to relate better to guys), so I deliberately went in & joined in the conversation with the women. I've decided I don't care if I'm invited to all of their activities, I can be friends with them & enjoy their fellowship and not be involved in everything in their life. I guess I said all of that to let you know you are not alone!
Also - you didn't really feel like you knew any of those people well before the prayer retreat. I bet they felt the same way about you. Now that you have a shared experience & more of a connection, it may be easier for you all to develop closer friendships. I agree with rgod that you might want to take the next step & invite some of them to an activity or just out to lunch after church. Friendship takes time to develop, not just time having known one another but time spent together.
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<------ Staci & Stoli, our k9 kids!
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/11/2008 12:56:28 PM
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lindakaye
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I found that I'm close to the women who I've worked with on things at the church. There is such a bonding thing about working together.
I do know how you feel and it did hurt your feelings and I'm sorry for that. Please dont' dismiss or discount your feelings they do matter.
Could you try to volunteer on a project with the folks you want to get to know? It really does work to help with things at church.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/11/2008 1:15:03 PM
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Auben
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Are you inviting them to do things? Are you inviting them to important things in your life?
Someone has to make the start. Usually it's the new person.
If you're inviting them to do things with you and people are refusing or still not letting you in, then I think there is a problem.
As much as I love the ladies at my church, it took me a long time to break into their world. Some of them were in different life circumstances. Some weren't but were busy with their lives and children. It seemed like they had time for each other but never me. The final straw came when I had my fourth child and the same women who made blankets for other church babies (at least the ones who had been there forever) STILL did not make one for my child, even though I'd been there for 5 years and had 3 children while there.
I had to let go and find close Christian friends in other places.
We still attend the church. I still like the ladies very much. Some I feel close to but not in a way where we invite them over. I just don't expect to be best friends anymore. I have friends from other churches and I'm content with that.
_____________________________
Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/11/2008 1:42:38 PM
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lindakaye
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How hurtfull that you didn't get a baby blanket.
I love that you have risen above the hurt, what an example to the rest of us.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/11/2008 2:46:22 PM
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fluffmonkey
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I have been going to same church all my life and I noticed that everyone has "friends" they stick with but alot of them grew up togther and such or kids play togther or so on...but I have also noticed if you go to a retreat or find some way to get invole people are more accepting then you think...and you may not have the same relationship as others do but some have been friends for 12+ years or so... but I find when you get involved more it opens doors to new friendships as you seen a little piece when you went on that retreat... I know when I went to prayer retreat with my sunday school class for first time... (was first time ever doing anything with them) I had alot fun and it felt good. I talked and didnt feel left out. Also it can be hard to find someone to relate to because your not married or dont have kids or not in college but you work... but when you get involved you will become closer to people and sometimes like Tamara said sometimes you have to make first move and ask them to do something... their is no such thing as instant friends, friendships take time to develop. I know sometimes we click very well with people but it still takes some time in growing to become good friends.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/11/2008 7:40:44 PM
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manda59
Posts: 5451
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RubySparkles
I've asked God what to do and last weekend I attended a one day prayer retreat with 8 members of the church and the Pastor. By the end of the day I felt glad I'd attended. It was fun & I started to feel like part of a group. I felt like I'd not had an opportunity to get to know anyone until now. I felt like God had wanted me to be in this place for so long to teach me to wait for things to develop rather than finding an instant church family. Some of the people who attended the retreat are on Facebook so I contacted them and looked at their photos.
So, let me get this straight. You sought God, followed His leading, went on a weekend and ENJOYED yourself.
Then you came home, requested some of these people on Facebook, THEY ACCEPTED you, and then just because you've seen photos there of events you weren't invited to, you're allowing that to spoil things for you?
If they didn't like you, they wouldn't have accepted you on Facebook.
Has it ever occurred to you that they may just have got stuck in their little groups and not thought to look outside? It can get like that sometimes, especially when women marry and start having children.
Maybe this weekend has given them a chance to see a bit more of you, get to know you better.
The thing is, you have a choice now. You can look back over the last 3 years and get all bitter and twisted about it, OR you can seize the opportunity to now move forward and take the initiative with these women. Invite one of them out for coffee sometime, or to meet up for lunch, or to go to a concert or to a cinema. Don't wait to be invited, go for it yourself - that way they will be in no doubt that you want to be friends. They may just not have realised before.
God intended for you to be blessed by that weekend - don't let the enemy creep in and snatch the blessing away.
_____________________________
"That's what I would say as well."
Mrs Wifey, August 2008.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/12/2008 2:24:17 AM
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deermousie
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Wow, this is a hurt maker. I'm sorry, Ruby, this is happening. I have no answer, but I am praying for you tonight. (((Hugs))))
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/12/2008 5:58:27 PM
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RubySparkles
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From: United Kingdom
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I'm still hurt. But I've accepted it. They're not my friends they're just 'church people'. It's true that I've never invited them to do anything. When I first joined the church I tried hard to mingle and get to know people but it just didn't seem to be working. One big thing was that I volunteered to run Sunday School but struggled big time. I had to almost beg Pastor to pay attention to what I was doing and get some help. No-one came forward to help me and I'm sure all those women I'm talking about spoke to the children about me and about how pathetic my 'Sunday School' was.
Another thing is sometimes there is a lunch after service (Mother's Day/Father's Day etc). They all scramble to sit together and I'm left with a choice of sitting with my mother, with people I don't know, sit by myself or go home. The more I saw of the cliques the harder it became to push myself forward to mingle with them. Eventually I stopped and waited to see who would approach me. No-one really did. Then in January of this year it was someone's birthday and we went out to lunch after church. Great! In March one of the younger women organised a play for mother's day. That was when I felt I'd spent more quality time with them and got some of their phone numbers and started to get happy. There aren't really any projects or small groups to get involved in. The weekday services are mini-Sunday services.
It really hurts me because God knows I have no family and that I struggle because of lack of emotional support. I don't understand why he would leave me like this make me think I'd had a breakthrough only to snatch it away. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to go to the cinema next weekend and thought I might invite some of those from church. I still want to invite them but the way I feel about them now, it doesn't really make sense to do that. Thank you for praying for me.
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/12/2008 6:52:57 PM
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Focusing
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I know church is not a social club
No, but fellowship is important. I understand those hurt feelings. It is important to feel like you are a part of those you worship with.
Is there a ministry you can get involved with? I found that just spending the time and hanging out with some of the women made a big difference. (example ... being there early to help set up for breakfast, staying late to help clean up ... these are times when the women - at my church anyway - let their hair down and just chatted about their lives)
_____________________________
<-- the prelude to a summer dust storm
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/12/2008 11:01:01 PM
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lightshineon
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Wow, how about a little compassion guy's? It feels terrible being the odd person out. The church is not a social club, though many act like it. Like a darn country club. Why is always someones fault, if they feel hurt? Encouragement goes along way instead of beating the wounded. I am sorry if this offends, but churches can be loveless and cold. I wish Jesus was here to turn over some temple tables. This is not the way the it is supposed to be. Does anyone not get it? Where is the Perfect ( mature church) spoken of in Revelation without spot or wrinkle? Where is the love? I am not feeling it.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/12/2008 11:09:18 PM
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rgod
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quote:
RubySparkles wrote: It really hurts me because God knows I have no family and that I struggle because of lack of emotional support. I don't understand why he would leave me like this make me think I'd had a breakthrough only to snatch it away. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to go to the cinema next weekend and thought I might invite some of those from church. I still want to invite them but the way I feel about them now, it doesn't really make sense to do that. Thank you for praying for me.
Ruby, my heart truly goes out to you. I've been there a number of times and am "there" right now. I'm in a new town, far from my family, and I don't have a church yet, although I do get together with believers once a week. Just the other week, I felt like walking out and never coming back. But I'm hanging in there because I feel that this is where the Lord has me and I know that if I stand, he will bless me for being obedient. Like you, there are some inroads that are being made. But the progress is slow going and I'm lonely more times than not.
Can you also start making acquaintances in other areas (other than church)? Like are there small groups somewhere else or some other places that you can connect with people? That might help you to take the edge off and can help you to be less lonely.
I just wanted to let you know that I do understand how you feel. For example, a few years ago I was going to a new church. Everyone knew everyone else and they were nice to me but a bit cold. I remember sitting in the pew one Sunday, not wanting to be there, but knowing that God sent me there. I wanted to cry so badly - I felt so alone and had been feeling alone there for a long, long time. But I knew God had me there for a reason. One Sunday, God sent a group of senior citizens to sit with me. I looked up and there they were. Well, they kept wanting me to sit in the chairs next to them and they fussed over me and loved "on me" all through the service. It was such a wonderful gift and I tear up now even thinking abot it. At the same church, a few weeks later, I went to a picnic. I felt like everytime I tried to be friendly, people would either barely listen to me would get up and leave. I couldn't understand what was going on and felt horrible. I really wanted to leave, but heard the Lord tell me very firmly to stay. Every table was filled except the one where I sat - I felt so lonely. But I stayed because I knew that God wanted me to stay. What I learned was that I needed to learn how to be still - be open and friendly - but basically be still and grounded in the Lord. As I've struggled with rejection in the past, this was hard. It was a very long picnic - and some people did eventually come and speak to me and I to them but I was still pretty much alone. But because I was obedient - some stronghold broke inside of me on that day. After that I got involved in a small group and eventually God used that group to minister to me and heal me from an emotional wound that I'd been struggling with for most of my life. And eventually, I started to bond a bit with a few of the women there before I had to leave. So yes, I really do understand how you feel and I also know how - if you follow God - he can do things that are beyond your wildest imaginings.
So, as you can see, I intimately know the pain of being lonely and without support. But when I look at your situation, I see glimmers of hope and breakthrough.
It is July 2008 and you've been at the church for about 3 years. Previous attempts to reach out have been met with indifference. But, it seems to me that from January of this year, things have been looking up a bit. You went out to church for a birthday, there was a mother's day play, and now there was the prayer retreat. You've mentioned that you have spent a bit of quality time, gotten numbers, etc. God has led you in what you need to do and it was successful. You've made connections online. You've also had ample opportunities to get to know people who are strangers to you (the people that you sit with at gatherings or picnics).
Ruby, I know that it is frustrating, but I keep sensing that this is the time that you might have to simply stand steadfast on what the Lord has said to you. If He truly sent you to this church, then He has a plan for you there. It just seems like there is a breakthrough that is coming in this area, but I think that often the enemy plays on our emotions so that we will give up right before the breakthrough occurs. He does this by making us "see" things through a distorted lens. I'm not saying that you need to throw yourself at the group or appear overeager. I don't know if you've been deliberately excluded or not. My hunch is that you probably weren't because 1) you are connected with them online 2) you have exchanged phone numbers 3) you've been able to make connections on several occasions. So, just give them the benefit of the doubt - at least one more time. If you find out that you really have been deliberately excluded (I hope that isn't the case - you seem to be a neat person so it would definitely be their loss) - then you can deal with that then.
Don't even rely on your own feelings only - do what you did before - seek the Lord about the cinema next week. Remember not to relate to the entire group - that is overwhelming and intimidating. Instead, pray and ask God what to do - he might have you focus in on one or two people that you can talk to (perhaps those you got phone numbers from - or someone that you connected with at the prayer retreat). Let Him give you "divine" friendships - let Him make the connections for you. Keep turning to the Lord to help you with the emotional support that you need until the time comes that you have friends. Remember, friendships take time. It is rare to have instant chemistry with people. So don't scoff at having church friends - basically the first stage of friendship is the acquaintance stage. From your pool of acquaintances, you can step-by-step start getting to know one or two of them in a more meaningful way.
Don't be discouraged! Just trust God and take the next step, no matter how scary or painful it might be - do it because God tells you to do it, and let Him take care of the outcome.
Be blessed tonight and tomorrow.
rgod
< Message edited by rgod -- 7/12/2008 11:43:03 PM >
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/12/2008 11:54:54 PM
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lightshineon
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rgod, that was an excellent post, very encouraging.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/13/2008 6:37:08 PM
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RubySparkles
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From: United Kingdom
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Thank you rgod that's really helpful. You've all been really helpful. I think I have to accept this as a test for me. It would be easy to walk away. I didn't go to church today because I was working but I'm going to keep going and see what happens. If I go to the cinema I will invite them. I think if God cares enough to test me I need to stick around and see what else is in store.
X
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/13/2008 9:25:07 PM
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Rivermoon
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From: T.O., Ontario, Canada
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Hi Ruby,
I'm so sorry that I had sent you a private message wrongly, as I read the date of this thread wrongly thinking it was 3 years old. That's why I was asking you for a status update, as I'm encountering the same problem as you do. So please ignore my personal email to you.
Just as said in my email to you, I'm actually in the exact situation as you described here. I just moved from one church where I stayed for 5 years to a new church. Even though I stayed in the previous church for 5 years, when I look back, I still feel the same sentiment you experienced with the people in that church. But yeah, things will improve through time. Now I need to do it again, and I find it so challenging, with this new church.
At the same time, I'm so encouraged by what Rgod said as he is very encouraging while trying to analyze the issue in an objective way. It also gives me the validation that my sentiment (same as yours) is valid and not wrong. There's a purpose for God to stretch us more in this area as He wants us to grow. Please keep encouraged as you're not alone. Glad to see that we are not alone here. :-)
Thanks for sharing your precious experience with us,
Do take care & God Bless,
Margaret.
_____________________________
=^O^=
Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst
"And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5 (NLT)
*** PUSH- Pray Until Something Happens ***
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/13/2008 10:21:08 PM
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creationtalk
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Ruby,
I recently left a church I had attended for 5 years to attend another church...in another town. I have not regretted the move at all. I attended the one church for 5 years, my son was (still is) involved in many church activities, we attended all the church "social events" but there were only two people in the church who ever made any effort to be a friend to me. On is the pastor's wife--she is my son's babysitter while I work. The other...turned out to not be a friend.
I knew I was unhappy about the church but didn't realize why until I went to New York for a vacation. It was then I realized that going to my church was a lot like riding the subway. You arrive, chat a bit waiting for the train to come (read church to start), then you get on, go for a ride (listen to a sermon)...when it's over you all get off, say good-bye and go your separate ways with no interaction until the next time you get on together again, then it's oh, hi, hows it going.... And I also realized that if I listened to a taped sermon while riding the subway, I'd actually get MORE out of the experience than I did going to church...because when it was over, I'd at least be someplace new.
Now I realize that part of the problem with my previous church is that most of them have known each other all their lives. In fact, most of them are related. Furthermore, most have a lot of family in the area, even if they don't attend this church. So when they socialize, it is with those they've known for years or family. They don't really know what it means to be alone with no one. I moved here for a job, met my now xh, we dated for years so my "friends", except a few neighbors and coworkers were HIS friends and family (which he kept when marriage ended). MOst of my neighbors who were friends have moved away. My closest family is 700 miles away.
My new church is wonderful. We visit for an hour or more after church. We go out to eat together, we have small group meetings where we can get better acquainted. Many of the people were members before the original sanctuary (and many of their homes) was destroyed in Hur. Katrina, yet they are still open to new people. I live too far away to socialize much with everyone, but I feel I've made more friends in the past year than I did in the previous 5 at the other church.
So I guess there are two pieces of advice for you--make an effort with these new friends at the church. Don't look at the past, look at the future. If things change over the next few months, then great. If not, find another church were you can have friends.
Keep in mind, if you FEEL like an outsider, you may be unconsciously acting withdrawn which would make others more reluctant to approach you. It doesn't hurt to make the first move. We had a wonderful dinner last night with some friends from church--all of whom were invited to join us by my very social son (I'm more of a hermit)--and this wouldn't have happened had we not made the first move.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/13/2008 11:40:29 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1623
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2 THINGS
1. Find a need and fill it in the life of someone else there at the church. The Bible clearly teaches us to have friends we must first show ourselves to be friendly.
2. Remember God is not responsible for how other people behave. They have been rejecting Him and His Holy Spirit since the foundation of the world..so rest assured we are going to experience rejection too. We have to shake the dust off our feet and keep on going sometimes.
When it comes to a true friend if you have more than 2 you are a very blessed indiv. and we know we already have 1 in JESUS...so you are halfway there already.
Keep investing in the lives of others and be a friend to someone who needs a friend. God is with you.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/14/2008 10:07:25 AM
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manda59
Posts: 5451
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RubySparkles
I don't understand why he would leave me like this make me think I'd had a breakthrough only to snatch it away.
If I've understood correctly, what happened what that after you had your lovely weekend away, you looked on Facebook and found that these women had had some social events, *before* they'd got to know you better, to which you weren't invited. It wasn't as if they'd organised something since the weekend and not invited you.
Is that right?
_____________________________
"That's what I would say as well."
Mrs Wifey, August 2008.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/14/2008 10:15:32 AM
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Tinkerbell_
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I am a very guarded person IRL. I have been burned severely when sharing myself with others and have learned to not be so free. So when I first moved here, I didn't put myself out there at all. I didn't share anything, I only talked about superficial things, nothing substantial.
Finally seeing how lonely I was my mother said 'sometimes we have to be a friend before we can have friends'.
I'm very nice, very outgoing, I just wasn't reaching far enough. So I got to know the parents of my kids friends, started working more in the church, and just letting myself be available. Soon I had people inviting me places, or asking for play dates, or whatnot.
It took time and effort on my part. I couldn't just sit back and wait for my phone to ring. I had to get myself out there. Once I did...it got easier.
Sometimes we have to step out of our comfortable little box and put forth a little effort. These things don't just fall in our laps.
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/14/2008 11:31:13 AM
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hotsaucygma
Posts: 2647
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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Hi Ruby, I understand how difficult it can seem to "break into" groups at church. The church I attend had several women's groups that met during the day, but I was a working Mom/wife. There were small groups, but the evening groups were "couples" and my Ex was not interested in going. It took a divorce and a DivorceCare group to really connect with people there! Not a way I would recommend to make friendships (although I have made wonderful friends from that group!). However, the real point there is that it was a small group that I made the connection through. Are there any groups you could attend? Are the other ladies you mention being in your age group a mixture of single and married, or could it be that if they are married and you are single (I think I have seen you post in Singles, haven't I?) they might think you would not be interested in a child's Bday party (or if they are a single Mom may feel someone without children wouldn't be interested, etc.)?
If small groups just don't exist, or there are other reasons you can't be involved in one, I would suggest doing just what you had already thought of - invite them to do something with you. Movies are a good thing, or invite a few of them to your home if possible. Call and see if you can make a "lunch date" some week end- or weekday. It may take more than one or two invitations before things turn around, so keep checking with them. Not necessarily invitations right on top of each other, but maybe every couple weeks to a month make the offer. I have also often found that if you are available to do so (and many working women aren't) helping with the kitchen tasks for weddings, funerals etc. make connecting easier! Again, it may take a few times before people feel comfortable enough to expand the friendship past the kitchen, but hopefully not too long!
Good luck Ruby, I know it's hard when you don't feel "welcomed" or "included". But a lot of the time I don't think others even realize that you feel that way, or that they contribute to it!
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Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/14/2008 6:10:00 PM
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Rivermoon
Posts: 57
Joined: 3/20/2006
From: T.O., Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
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Hi Ruby,
Really, as I checked back the posting date of your thread which is very recent. Anyway, glad for you to email me back and update me your status. Can I say you still feel that you need to try very hard, even though it's been easier compared 3 years ago?
I'm in the exact stage as you were 3 years ago. As I posted on the thread that I joined a new church Jan this year. I found that even though I tried very hard, I still feel that I can just make very small steps forward. People generally are nice on the surface, but when I try to go deeper, they kinda back off and show kinda hesitation politely.
And I personally have encountered so many cliques in churches, and I do understand the existence of cliques, but I am truly frustrated (and emotionally against) closed cliques, as I feel frustrated when I'm not allowed in, and they won't initiatively reach out to include new people.
Yeah, I found that getting into a group of ladies more senior than I will usually make me feel so welcomed and accepted, as I found that I truly can't get into a group of ladies of my age or younger.
I'm glad that one of the ladies texted you and asked how you're doing. It's so heart-warming that somebody noticed that you were there that weekend, and care to reach out to care about you. It's such an encouragement to us that there're still people in the church who cares. I just hope more and more others will be influenced by these caring people and become more christ-like eventually, and make church environment be more healthy and safe to all.
Let's keep encouraged and not to give up so soon, and we have to model the christ-like behavior to others to start with too. :-)
Thanks so much for your sharing and encouragement,
Do take care & God Bless,
Rivermoon.
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=^O^=
Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst
"And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5 (NLT)
*** PUSH- Pray Until Something Happens ***
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RE: Am I overreacting? - 7/14/2008 8:16:04 PM
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preserved
Posts: 1044
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline
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Rubysparks....Just a thought that may not be the church God intends for you to be...Why are you afraid to venture and visit other churches to see if it feels like as they say home....
I am imaging how lonely to be attending a church and yet feel alone. Church should be like your second family...
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