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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 1:40:45 PM
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mutinywxgirl
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Thank you - scary what comes out of me when I just let the fingers fly and God direct what I'm saying. 
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When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 2:00:32 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26818
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~ ~ ~ ~ ~
quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
Age has nothing to do with whether or not I will ever have another husband the only thing that has anything to do with it is Gods will. Amen!
quote:
ORIGINAL: thedivabrat
I am not sure I understand "coping" with singleness. Being single is not a disease or disability! And I am pretty sure married people are sometimes or even often lonely. Amen!
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
You know, life is very much about trade-offs. No set of circumstances is perfect. Amen!
Gayle, I'm 45 . . .
I've been married twice. I'm currently not married.
My first marriage ended in divorce.
My second marriage ended when my husband took his life.
(There was also a 21-year period from when I divorced my first husband and married CS).
Additionally, even though I have been married twice, I have never celebrated an anniversary with a spouse (my first marriage, I was separated when the 1st anniversary came; I was widowed when my 1st anniversary with CS arrived).
I have given birth to one child, but the last time I saw him, he was 3 days old . . . I placed him for adoption over 23 years ago.
At this time in my life, I have no family (nor have I had any in over 18 years).
During my childhood and teen years, I experienced physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and neglect from a conglomerate of people.
During my early 20's, I also experienced plenty of self-abuse from myself.
My point in telling you all this is that I do not dwell on those things, nor do I let them control my life.
I dwell on JESUS; and WHO He is and WHAT He has done and continues to do in my life.
I am Sharon-Marie, Daughter of the Most High King . . . that absolutely overshadows everything else.
I think that whatever a person inwardly focuses on is what others will outwardly see in them.
50??? Bring it on! 
(Besides, I have a thing for birthdays ending in zero; I think they're the ultimate!)
In fact, I'm already planning for my 50th birthday party.
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Sharon-Marie, you're more than expressive...you are relatively incomprehensible!
~ from one of y'all
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 2:02:56 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26818
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Oh wait a minute.
I'm not 45 yet.
I'm still 44.
Sheesh; I don't even know how old I am!
_____________________________
Sharon-Marie, you're more than expressive...you are relatively incomprehensible!
~ from one of y'all
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 2:33:23 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 8207
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Sharon-Marie, you RAWK! 
_____________________________
Some days it's just not worth
chewing through the restraints.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 2:37:36 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 8207
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_____________________________
Some days it's just not worth
chewing through the restraints.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 4:07:46 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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Aww, Mack! 
_____________________________
Sharon-Marie, you're more than expressive...you are relatively incomprehensible!
~ from one of y'all
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 6:14:24 PM
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thedivabrat
Posts: 326
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You go girl!
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This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ps 118:24
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 7:37:47 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
I am not sure I understand "coping" with singleness. Being single is not a disease or disability! And I am pretty sure married people are sometimes or even often lonely.
Being single requires some coping mechanism, if we are being honest with ourselves. No, it's not the greatest place we find ourselves in. In fact, some of these questions, or even threads wouldn't be created if we really believe that life couldn't be better as a single person.
A lot of things we do is part of coping with learning how to navigate our lives as a single person. Some of us pursue higher education, pick up new hobbies, join new clubs, volunteers in various organizations, learn to do the things we'd always wanted to do, all because we wanted to do something productive with our time and keep ourselves occupied. If we are married, we might not even think about doing those things. I'm not saying we're better than married people, but we live a richer life because we're trying to "cope" with being single.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 7:47:25 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
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That's only true if we say that every set of circumstances requires coping mechanisms. Marrieds are coping with being married, parents are coping with parenting, etc., and then it's all a wash anyway. Everyone's coping with something so what difference does it make to say it?
Some people may find being single a matter of coping but that doesn't mean that all singles experience it that way.
_____________________________
Some days it's just not worth
chewing through the restraints.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 8:10:09 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15670
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I heard it said that those who cannot handle singleness, God gives marriage. And those who cannot handle marriage, He gives singleness, go figure.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 8:41:25 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
That's only true if we say that every set of circumstances requires coping mechanisms. Marrieds are coping with being married, parents are coping with parenting, etc., and then it's all a wash anyway. Everyone's coping with something so what difference does it make to say it?
Some people may find being single a matter of coping but that doesn't mean that all singles experience it that way. I agree
quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
I'm not coping with being single. I just am. Again, I agree.
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
Some people may find being single a matter of coping but that doesn't mean that all singles experience it that way. I especially agree with this (and intentionally quoted it again).
_____________________________
Sharon-Marie, you're more than expressive...you are relatively incomprehensible!
~ from one of y'all
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 8:53:53 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
Some people may find being single a matter of coping but that doesn't mean that all singles experience it that way
I stand corrected. I guess I'm the only one "coping" with singleness. Perhaps I'm new to this. Not new as newly single, but new to the thought of living life as a single person for a loooong time. I was living a happy go lucky life until 2 years ago when I thought that this might be alone for the rest of my life.
So, yes, I'm coping. And I don't mean anything negative by it. In fact, I like what I'm learning, and doing, and becoming. But would I rather be married? Of course I would. Would I rather have someone to go on vacations with, to go on my long bike rides, to have someone to come home to at the end of the day, to eat dinner with a regular companion, to share my deepest, most intimate thoughts, to have someone to cuddle up in bed with every night? I'd trade my single life for a good relationship with a man who loves me. Because in the long run, having a close personal, intimate relationship with someone and do life with them is, for me, more desirable than doing all the things I've been doing alone. So, even though I'm enjoying life, this is part of my "coping".
Again, before you jump at me, I'm saying that this is from my perspective on my life as a single person and I apologize for lumping you all in there.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 7/13/2008 9:00:00 PM >
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:02:32 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26818
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Prairiehiker, God bless you abundantly!
That entire post (your most recent one) was written directly from your perspective . . . I'm sure not going to "jump" on you for that.
And speaking only for myself, that is the point I was hoping to make . . . for me, posts are much easier to read (and I'm more willing to read them) when I'm not being lumped into a category that I may or may not fit. Quite often, I truly don't fit into whatever someone is discussing when they are writing it as inclusive of all (or even most) people in a certain lifestyle (i.e., being a single person).
May Our Lord encourage you with HIS Peace and HIS Joy,
Sharon-Marie
_____________________________
Sharon-Marie, you're more than expressive...you are relatively incomprehensible!
~ from one of y'all
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:06:24 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
I heard it said that those who cannot handle singleness, God gives marriage. And those who cannot handle marriage, He gives singleness, go figure.
That's a fine saying, Mike. Have you seen that saying supported in scripture?
I have now been single in my life for much longer than I've been married: and I do not feel I handle singleness well at all--in this area I am definitely coping. Of course, that's based on my own perception and not God's, but that's all I have to go on. So what's the deal? Am I the exception that proves the rule or something?
Not meaning to be argumentative at all, here...just want to point out that we should be careful to evaluate all "cultural knowledge" such as the above statement with the measuring rod of scripture.
Rather, I believe in something a lot more hopeful. I believe that God gives me the grace each day to handle the plans He has for me for that day...whether that's "coping" with singleness or "coping" with marriage or "coping" with cleaning the toilets.
Yes, I would say "coping" is a part of most of our lives. I have to "cope" with things I don't particularly care for in many areas of my life--anybody here absolutely love to clean toilets? But that doesn't make me less of a person or something of a handicapped single because I "cope" with singleness. In fact, I figure if I'm coping, then I'm doing better than the person who refuses to cope and merely lets life run over them and make them into a whiny, bitter complainer. If I'm "coping", then I'm accessing God's grace to deal with the things in my life that I wish were different, and accessing God's grace is something that pleases Him!
besiderself
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If we are concerned about truth because it is beautiful and good, we will not wield it as a sword to slash…offer truth humbly, as something of great value…guard against…tainting it with a prideful, callous or defensive delivery.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:14:12 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 15670
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From: Just Outside of Boston
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quote:
That's a fine saying, Mike. Have you seen that saying supported in scripture?
It was meant tongue and cheek. 
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:17:29 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 8207
Joined: 9/4/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
And speaking only for myself, that is the point I was hoping to make . . . for me, posts are much easier to read (and I'm more willing to read them) when I'm not being lumped into a category that I may or may not fit. Quite often, I truly don't fit into whatever someone is discussing when they are writing it as inclusive of all (or even most) people in a certain lifestyle (i.e., being a single person).
This is exactly my feeling as well and the reason for my post originally.
What you said here, Prairie...
quote:
But would I rather be married? Of course I would. Would I rather have someone to go on vacations with, to go on my long bike rides, to have someone to come home to at the end of the day, to eat dinner with a regular companion, to share my deepest, most intimate thoughts, to have someone to cuddle up in bed with every night? I'd trade my single life for a good relationship with a man who loves me. Because in the long run, having a close personal, intimate relationship with someone and do life with them is, for me, more desirable than doing all the things I've been doing alone.
Is true for you. But it's not true for me. I'm not so sure I would rather be married. You spoke of a "richer life" in your earlier post. There is no "richer", there are only different kinds of richness.
_____________________________
Some days it's just not worth
chewing through the restraints.
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RE: Is Nearing 50 and Single Is Like A Death Sentence? - 7/13/2008 9:26:42 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26818
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quote:
ORIGINAL: besiderself
Yes, I would say "coping" is a part of most of our lives. I have to "cope" with things I don't particularly care for in many areas of my life--anybody here absolutely love to clean toilets? Esther, this made me laugh!
No, I don't absolutely love to clean toilets . . . but neither do I consider it to be coping when I do clean 'em. In fact, I don't have any emotional feelings towards it one way or another; cleaning toilets is something that just needs to be done; I do it, and then go about my day and don't give the toilets and the fact that I've cleaned them another thought.
For me, "coping" just seems so devoid of joy. I am absolutely assured of Our Lord's Peace and Joy in my life. In fact, it's His Peace and His Joy that propels me; that carries me through hard times (read that as hard times in life, in general; not necessarily in being single). It's His Peace and His Joy that covers me, comforts me and encourages me . . . sometimes even inspite of myself.
For me, "coping" seems analogous to "surviving", and I most definitely want to do more than merely survive; I want to thrive; I want to LIVE.
That's why I don't look at "living life as a single person" in the same way that I view "coping with being single."
In Philippians, Paul said, "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." (4:11)
There's a Peace that is present when I am content.
I don't see that same Peace in "coping."
_____________________________
Sharon-Marie, you're more than expressive...you are relatively incomprehensible!
~ from one of y'all
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