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Do You Think - 7/20/2008 7:03:27 PM
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stonek
Posts: 152
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I read in a book that posed all types of questions to men and some of the candid comments they made. For the most part I really appreciated the honesty on those quoted and do think honesty is best.
One man though was quoted as saying that whenever he sees a overweight/obese woman with a man that he feels sorry for the man or husband having a woman like that. That bothered me.
A fit attractive man wanting a fit attractive woman or fit attractive woman wanting a fit attractive man I totally understand. Everyone has their own taste that's okay. I am more questioning the judgement in general of overweight women.
I want know if many of you think the same way or feel sorry for men who marry or date someone overweight?
Do you think overweight women are of less value?
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RE: Do You Think - 7/20/2008 9:34:57 PM
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Blazingson
Posts: 91
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quote:
I want know if many of you think the same way or feel sorry for men who marry or date someone overweight?
Do you think overweight women are of less value?
Shoot no! On my part, to think that way would be the pot calliing the kettle black.
To feel sorry for a man who has an overweight wife is juvenile and immature. If the man didn't love her and find her attractive he wouldn't have pursued her to begin with. That's assuming that the two of them are happily married. I see two people married and enjoying each other I'm happy for them and it doesn't even enter my mind that body type is an issue. I've seen many women who are "voluptuous" and incredibly attractive and there are many men who are attracted to that body type exclusively.
_____________________________
*Eric G.*
Matthew 5:16
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
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RE: Do You Think - 7/22/2008 4:03:32 PM
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JohnCo
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That man you quoted was honest. A man wants an attractive woman and fat ain't pretty. Why a man would date or marry an obese woman is beyond me. I have a friend who did marry a fat woman and I don't know what he was thinking. Lose weight and get in shape for your man. You won't see with me with anyone fat.
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RE: Do You Think - 7/22/2008 7:37:13 PM
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bullgator9
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Friend, you ask the question,"Are overweight women are of less value?" I would said is anyone of less value of someone else?
WE ARE ALL EQUAL VALUE IN GOD'S EYES, ARE WE NOT???? SO TO JUDGE SOMEONE APPEARANCE BECAUSE WE THINK THAT THEY ARE OVERWEIGHT OR THEY MIGHT NOT BE AS ATTRACTIVE AS WE ARE. IT MAKES US PRETTY SHALLOW, HMMMM.
WE SEE ON TV OR IF WE GO TO A GYM, WE SEE PEOPLE ALL WALKS OF LIFE MAKING AN EFFORT TO LOSE WEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE DO LOSE THE WEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT TAKE TIME TO LOSE WEIGHT.
IF WE CAN WALK A MILE IN OUR FRIENDS SHOES AND CAN SEE THEIR LIFE AS THEY SEE IT. I BELIEVE THAT IT WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON ALL AROUND.
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RE: Do You Think - 7/22/2008 8:08:32 PM
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vikingfan
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Every man finds a different woman attractive. Perhaps he finds a fat woman attractive for some reason. It's different if she's completely let herself go physically out of laziness or something else, but just on sight, I wouldn't make that judgment.
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RE: Do You Think - 7/23/2008 11:36:55 AM
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stonek
Posts: 152
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bullgator9
Friend, you ask the question,"Are overweight women are of less value?" I would said is anyone of less value of someone else?
WE ARE ALL EQUAL VALUE IN GOD'S EYES, ARE WE NOT???? SO TO JUDGE SOMEONE APPEARANCE BECAUSE WE THINK THAT THEY ARE OVERWEIGHT OR THEY MIGHT NOT BE AS ATTRACTIVE AS WE ARE. IT MAKES US PRETTY SHALLOW, HMMMM.
WE SEE ON TV OR IF WE GO TO A GYM, WE SEE PEOPLE ALL WALKS OF LIFE MAKING AN EFFORT TO LOSE WEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE DO LOSE THE WEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT TAKE TIME TO LOSE WEIGHT.
IF WE CAN WALK A MILE IN OUR FRIENDS SHOES AND CAN SEE THEIR LIFE AS THEY SEE IT. I BELIEVE THAT IT WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON ALL AROUND.
I try to see others as equals.
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RE: Do You Think - 7/23/2008 11:39:35 AM
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stonek
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quote:
ORIGINAL: vikingfan
Every man finds a different woman attractive. Perhaps he finds a fat woman attractive for some reason. It's different if she's completely let herself go physically out of laziness or something else, but just on sight, I wouldn't make that judgment.
I am in agreement that I do think it is important to look one's best at any size. Hair, clothing, perfume and makeup for ladies.
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RE: Do You Think - 7/23/2008 11:43:22 AM
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stonek
Posts: 152
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JohnCo
That man you quoted was honest. A man wants an attractive woman and fat ain't pretty. Why a man would date or marry an obese woman is beyond me. I have a friend who did marry a fat woman and I don't know what he was thinking. Lose weight and get in shape for your man. You won't see with me with anyone fat.
I have tried losing weight plenty of times. I lose and I gain back. I am not getting any younger and as I get older the harder it is for me. I do not know anyone who wants to ber overweight on purpose.
I respect that you are honest enough to say that you do not find overweight women attractive. Being honest about what you like I would say is the best way to be.
What I do not understand is your comments about your friend's choice or other men's choices about dating or marrying an overweight woman. Well that's where I got lost with the other guy only cause his comments were about others not his personal likes or dislikes.
What I am trying to understand or figure out is do many men look down on all overweight women as friends or people? Do they really feel sorry for men that marry overweight women?
I do not like drinking or smoking. I never really dated men that did those things. I do not look down or think it odd that some people marry people who do.
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RE: Do You Think - 7/24/2008 1:57:22 PM
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JohnCo
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Dont know how old you are but since you are making a comment of getting older that makes it worst. Nothing is attractive about a woman who is fat and old. Alot of men are too chicken to tell a woman your too fat lose weight. I'm not. Imagine you break down in your car alone without your husband no man driving by is going to stop to help you when you are a fat woman. They are going to leave you there stranded on the side of the road. My friend made a mistake marrying a fat woman and one day he will wake up. Is your husband also fat, older or ugly?
Lose the weight! Look I'm just telling you what others dont have the guts too.
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RE: Do You Think - 7/24/2008 2:47:28 PM
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freakofnature
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quote:
Do You Think - 7/20/2008 7:03:27 PM
As little as possible. Waka waka...
I think to each his own. Big people need love too.
I attended church when younger with a guy who was probably 185 soaking wet. His wife must have been 400 pounds. Sweet couple, had 4 kids together, the man loved his wife and you knew it!
quote:
Dont know how old you are but since you are making a comment of getting older that makes it worst. Nothing is attractive about a woman who is fat and old. Alot of men are too chicken to tell a woman your too fat lose weight. I'm not. Imagine you break down in your car alone without your husband no man driving by is going to stop to help you when you are a fat woman. They are going to leave you there stranded on the side of the road. My friend made a mistake marrying a fat woman and one day he will wake up. Is your husband also fat, older or ugly?
Lose the weight! Look I'm just telling you what others dont have the guts too.
Hey JohnCo... dude, you need to grow up. You should pull off the side of the road to help someone in distress as a way of showing love for mankind as God has commanded us to do! Your statement has to be the ugliest most mean spirited statement I have seen on these forums. I know you say your not affraid of saying what needs to be said, well neither am I. GROW UP!
< Message edited by freakofnature -- 7/24/2008 4:36:14 PM >
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RE: Do You Think - 7/24/2008 3:19:11 PM
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colliefan
Posts: 2540
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Raleigh, NC
Status: online
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quote:
I want know if many of you think the same way or feel sorry for men who marry or date someone overweight?
No. It is not my business to see anyone's wife any way than my sister in Christ and see him as my brother in Christ.
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RE: Do You Think - 8/5/2008 4:51:43 PM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 403
Joined: 6/1/2008
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quote:
StoneK:
One man though was quoted as saying that whenever he sees a overweight/obese woman with a man that he feels sorry for the man or husband having a woman like that. That bothered me.
A fit attractive man wanting a fit attractive woman or fit attractive woman wanting a fit attractive man I totally understand. Everyone has their own taste that's okay. I am more questioning the judgement in general of overweight women.
I want know if many of you think the same way or feel sorry for men who marry or date someone overweight?
Do you think overweight women are of less value?
For starters, I'd ask the opinionated anonymous man how he was sure the man 'had her', and not the other way around, or that they were just friends and not married.
I'd agree that a book like that would probably bother me too- someone trying to make a lot of money off random comments of anonymous people, probably for the most part making statements that do not reflect any faith in God.
I am not going to question the judgements in general of overweight women. Period. I don't want to get beaten-up.  I think you mean you are questioning the judgements made in general concerning overweight women?
I don't feel sorry for men who appear skinnier than their date, or their spouse. I don't feel sorry for the women who are skinnier than their date or spouse, either. I can't help myself... I do feel sorry for a couple that look identical from behind them, or that feel they have to dress the same way. I don't find that very humorous, either, or count it as loving someone else as you love yourself. I feel sorry for them because they will always be being mistaken for their beloved other.
An employer values her/his/its employee workforce. I value some of my friendships more than others. I've never tried valuing someone by my guesstimate as to how much they weighed, so I don't have an answer for you on that one.
I also am in agreement with Freak's post.
OneJohn410
_____________________________
"Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it." Psalm 37:3-5
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RE: Do You Think - 8/5/2008 5:23:21 PM
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revbob4God
Posts: 592
Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:
I read in a book that posed all types of questions to men and some of the candid comments they made. For the most part I really appreciated the honesty on those quoted and do think honesty is best.
One man though was quoted as saying that whenever he sees a overweight/obese woman with a man that he feels sorry for the man or husband having a woman like that. That bothered me.
A fit attractive man wanting a fit attractive woman or fit attractive woman wanting a fit attractive man I totally understand. Everyone has their own taste that's okay. I am more questioning the judgement in general of overweight women.
I want know if many of you think the same way or feel sorry for men who marry or date someone overweight?
Do you think overweight women are of less value?
Absolutely not! I remember some of the sermons of the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr., and I believe that you just have to love, adore, admire and respect the soul, the heart and that beauty. Physical beauty can fade over time, and it should have nothing to do with a person's value or worth. We are all children of God, and I believe that it is hateful if not sinful to cast aspersion and insensitive comments toward women or men that may be weight challenged.
_____________________________
For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I the Lord; and none else.
Isaiah 45:18
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RE: Do You Think - 8/5/2008 5:25:00 PM
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revbob4God
Posts: 592
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quote:
Dont know how old you are but since you are making a comment of getting older that makes it worst. Nothing is attractive about a woman who is fat and old. Alot of men are too chicken to tell a woman your too fat lose weight. I'm not. Imagine you break down in your car alone without your husband no man driving by is going to stop to help you when you are a fat woman. They are going to leave you there stranded on the side of the road. My friend made a mistake marrying a fat woman and one day he will wake up. Is your husband also fat, older or ugly?
Lose the weight! Look I'm just telling you what others dont have the guts too.
Beauty, my son, is in the eye of the beholder.
Here's a thought. What would Jesus do? What would Jesus think? Being as I highly doubt he sends out any party like invitations to let us know the exact time and hour, what if he decided to return as a weight challenged, elderly woman, and because he may not have a high tolerance level for young, fresh mouthed whippersnappers, passed you on the road, especially during end times and tribulations?
Shame on you, son.
< Message edited by revbob4God -- 8/5/2008 5:31:30 PM >
_____________________________
For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I the Lord; and none else.
Isaiah 45:18
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RE: Do You Think - 8/5/2008 6:40:36 PM
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revbob4God
Posts: 592
Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:
Dont know how old you are but since you are making a comment of getting older that makes it worst. Nothing is attractive about a woman who is fat and old. Alot of men are too chicken to tell a woman your too fat lose weight. I'm not. Imagine you break down in your car alone without your husband no man driving by is going to stop to help you when you are a fat woman. They are going to leave you there stranded on the side of the road. My friend made a mistake marrying a fat woman and one day he will wake up. Is your husband also fat, older or ugly?
Lose the weight! Look I'm just telling you what others dont have the guts too.
Well Good Night! Thanks to the Heavenly Father that I got a car repair kit with flares on my fiftieth birthday...
_____________________________
For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I the Lord; and none else.
Isaiah 45:18
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RE: Do You Think - 8/5/2008 7:08:42 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9341
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stonek
I want know if many of you think the same way or feel sorry for men who marry or date someone overweight?
A personal preference is a personal preference. That personal preference shouldn't become a fact among all men.
quote:
Do you think overweight women are of less value?
All are created in the imagine of Christ. Our sin nature requires that image to resemble imperfection. Imperfection comes in different forms, shapes, and sizes. What one may lack in a certain area, they also gain in another.
No one should be treated less of value, regardless of looks. Beauty is not solely based on the physical state of a human being, but it covers all forms, including mental and spiritual.
As for my personal preference, I find overweightness and obesity to be a total turn off. But again, that's my personal preference. What one may prefer also differs from someone else. Thankfully, God has seen to bless me with someone according to my personal taste.
_____________________________
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
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RE: Do You Think - 8/6/2008 9:23:28 AM
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freakofnature
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quote:
As for my personal preference, I find overweightness and obesity to be a total turn off.
So let us suppose just for a moment that you meet and marry this fabulous young beautiful woman 110 pounds, 5'2", great shape, perfect hair, body.... 5 years go by, a baby, maybe two then the mid 30's early 40's roll around she starts to put on weight, life is busy with the kids, soccer, tennis, school functions, church functions, she has gained like 50 pounds... What then? Do you dare tell her that she is fat and she should lose weight? Not to mention how much weight you have gained as you get older and life starts getting in the way of your ability to work out regularly, so you have gained 50 pounds or so... Who are you to mention to her that she is fat!
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RE: Do You Think - 8/6/2008 11:25:57 AM
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revbob4God
Posts: 592
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quote:
As for my personal preference, I find overweightness and obesity to be a total turn off. But again, that's my personal preference. What one may prefer also differs from someone else. Thankfully, God has seen to bless me with someone according to my personal taste.
Wow
So have you thought about what people may think of you when you get older, pick up less than washboard abs and that rakish zorro look, my brother?
_____________________________
For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I the Lord; and none else.
Isaiah 45:18
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RE: Do You Think - 8/6/2008 11:42:11 AM
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APZR
Posts: 778
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: freakofnature
So let us suppose just for a moment that you meet and marry this fabulous young beautiful woman 110 pounds, 5'2", great shape, perfect hair, body.... 5 years go by, a baby, maybe two then the mid 30's early 40's roll around she starts to put on weight, life is busy with the kids, soccer, tennis, school functions, church functions, she has gained like 50 pounds... What then? Do you dare tell her that she is fat and she should lose weight?
Yes... 
... except I said WE are fat. WE need to make times 2 to 3 times a week to get out and walk or work in the garden. WE are on a diet, and WE are looking better and "enjoying" each other more.  
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: Do You Think - 8/6/2008 11:46:49 AM
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APZR
Posts: 778
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: revbob4God
Wow
So have you thought about what people may think of you when you get older, pick up less than washboard abs and that rakish zorro look, my brother?
Sure when you get older, you slow down a wee bit and can't maintain the perfect physique. But gluttony and laziness is not only bad for the body and longevity, it's also a sin.
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: Do You Think - 8/6/2008 1:38:27 PM
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revbob4God
Posts: 592
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Doctor tells me I am not overweight, just the dog. I remain pretty square on a diet, and so does the wife, for better health and so forth.
APZR I was ribbing DreadPirateRandy.
(Quote)No one should be treated less of value, regardless of looks. Beauty is not solely based on the physical state of a human being, but it covers all forms, including mental and spiritual.
As for my personal preference, I find overweightness and obesity to be a total turn off. But again, that's my personal preference. What one may prefer also differs from someone else. Thankfully, God has seen to bless me with someone according to my personal taste. (End Quote)
_____________________________
For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I the Lord; and none else.
Isaiah 45:18
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RE: Do You Think - 8/6/2008 5:08:15 PM
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freakofnature
Posts: 739
Joined: 1/17/2008
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quote:
I find overweightness and obesity to be a total turn off.
I guess the good thing about this forum and statements like this are that if we were to ever meet, I guess I know in advance where my wife and I stand in the eyes of others. Just to be sure to be careful who your friends/brothers and sisters in Christ are.
I have mentioned in another thread that I may be overweight now, but I dare you all to keep up with my life, I have four children and we all go in 20 different directions, I am very active with my church, community and work. Mostly, by the time I get home of an evening it is rather late, therefore dinner is late, then I turn around the next day and do it all again. I work in an office, so the job itself is not a physically demanding job so there isn't alot of outside movement here... but I digress. Thankfully you all don't have much of an opportunity to shape my future through job interviews or such. Otherwise, I need to get back to my cheesbuger and deep fried fat pockets because I'm feeling lonely. And... well, my pants are fitting well so I need to make some adjustments...
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RE: Do You Think - 8/7/2008 12:39:01 AM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9341
Joined: 6/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: freakofnature
So let us suppose just for a moment that you meet and marry this fabulous young beautiful woman 110 pounds, 5'2", great shape, perfect hair, body....
That's not her statistics, therefore it isn't perfect for me.
quote:
5 years go by, a baby, maybe two then the mid 30's early 40's roll around she starts to put on weight, life is busy with the kids, soccer, tennis, school functions, church functions, she has gained like 50 pounds... What then?
Workout. There is no vital excuse why someone can't fit some amount of time into their day to workout. If they were to do so, 65% of America wouldn't be overweight.
We've mutually agreed to remain in the best shape we can regardless of the circumstances. I very well know a child adds weight, but I also know working out removes weight. That's something people are afraid of doing, thus why people have accepted obesity so well.
Sorry, but I won't. And again, it's my personal preference of what I find attractive, and I happen to believe she's God's most beautiful creation, and she isn't a broomstick, either, thankfully.
quote:
Do you dare tell her that she is fat and she should lose weight?
Do I care for her? Yes. Therefore, I would assist her into getting into a better shape.
Do you let someone you love walk into a door if you know its there? No. Why should you let the love of your life get into an unhealthy state without looking after them?
But, I wouldn't say it such harsh terms. Love isn't rude.
quote:
Not to mention how much weight you have gained as you get older and life starts getting in the way of your ability to work out regularly, so you have gained 50 pounds or so...
No one has such a busy schedule that would prohibit them working out at least 30 minutes a day. That is a complete excuse.
I have gained over 50 pounds, and I have lost more than that. It isn't an impossibility, especially for anyone who knows about bodybuilding. It's only an excuse comprised by laziness.
Even with a child, a couple could still find time to go for a walk with their child one time a day at the very least. There is no valid reason why anyone should have to be obese, unless medical conditions prohibit natural weight loss. (65% of America does NOT have those medical conditions).
quote:
ORIGINAL: revbob4God
So have you thought about what people may think of you when you get older, pick up less than washboard abs and that rakish zorro look, my brother?
My sweetheart's opinion only matters, brotha. After all, she is the one who's going to see all of me.
I don't have washboard abs, 20 inch biceps, or the works. However, I AM putting an effort to reach those goals. Even when I'm 40, I'm not going to stop. There is no reason to.
quote:
ORIGINAL: freakofnature
I guess the good thing about this forum and statements like this are that if we were to ever meet, I guess I know in advance where my wife and I stand in the eyes of others.
You're taking my statement extremely out of context. You're making it seem like I have this usurp hatred for obese people, when in fact, I don't. It's just not my definition of attractive. It never has been. It never will be.
I do not find excessive fat attractive. If you don't, then good for you. My personal preference is what it is, it won't change. It doesn't have to be your personal preference, but your personal preference is irrelevant to mine.
quote:
ORIGINAL: APZR
... except I said WE are fat. WE need to make times 2 to 3 times a week to get out and walk or work in the garden. WE are on a diet, and WE are looking better and "enjoying" each other more.
A prime example of taking steps to do something about it.
_____________________________
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
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