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Share what you've written

 
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Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 4:57:32 PM   
whisper


Posts: 128
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
Share what you've written lately, be it poetry, prose, just random thoughts in a journal, snippets of character dialogue, a section of a short story.

Annnndddd- GO!

_____________________________

You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your bum. And who wants to make bumprints in the sands of time?
Post #: 1
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 4:59:13 PM   
Krystenteen14

 

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/9/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline
I didnt write this, but my sister did, so I am going to post it.

I Am
I am someone who yearns to soar
I wonder why I wasn’t made with wings so I could zoom over the tropical oceans and feel the mist in my face
I hear the thundering wind calling my name waiting to sweep me up into its embrace
I see the smooth outline of the filmy clouds and long to be swishing between them
I want to soar and swim in the clear blue sky

I imagine twirling like a ballerina through the sky dancing to the music of a piano
I feel the warm rays of the sun beckoning me to join it in the sky
I touch the leaf that the sky and its forces grabbed from a tree
I worry that the temptation will be too much and that I will finally jump from the cliff that I stand on
I cry at the thought that if I did jump I still wouldn’t be able to soar
I am someone who yearns to soar

I understand that I cannot soar but I will always long to
I say to myself that my dream is enough
I dream that the tropical parrots or the island will soar with me
I try to except that I will never be in the sky
I hope they will invent electric wings so I could soar
I am someone who will always year to soar

_____________________________

God shape me the way that you want me to be, help me so that I am everything that you dream that I can be, and show me that I CAN be everything that you want me to be.
Post #: 2
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 5:15:44 PM   
whisper


Posts: 128
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
I haven't thought of a title for either of the poems to follow yet:

trees golden burning bright
encircling, lifting, holding
this little body of still water
this bowl of fragrant leaves and pond life
nestled somewhere deep in someplace
that I don't know but would love to find
traipsing through the wood with you


:) I always kinda liked that one, although I never thought it really good enough to share.

I love you in your flowing skirt
a bottle-glass green and to your knees
complimenting your figure
lean as the shape of its coloured inspiration

this my daughter my offspring
this the picture of my youth
i wish you to know that i smile
thinking of your bare feet and sand
of your scrapes and laughter
when you are consumed
with loving the course of your days

best part of all is knowing
that the source of your laughter
the cause of your delight
is the one you makes the wind blow
that rustles your skirt
to make you laugh
that places the sand
to the delight of your bare toes


_____________________________

You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your bum. And who wants to make bumprints in the sands of time?
Post #: 3
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 5:17:36 PM   
inlovewithshadowfax


Posts: 70
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Washington state
Status: offline
*sigh* I love your poems, whisper.

_____________________________

And I'm still fighting for the word
To break these chains
Can I still pray when I look in your eyes
Stare right back down
Into something beautiful


~"Something Beautiful"- Jars of Clay~
Post #: 4
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 5:24:54 PM   
whisper


Posts: 128
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
aw, thanks dear. I don't delete any anymore- I usually hate them when I first write them, but then they kinda grow on me. Like fungus! . Someone should write an ode to fungus and share it with us!

_____________________________

You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your bum. And who wants to make bumprints in the sands of time?
Post #: 5
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 5:29:47 PM   
sar-uh

 

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline
i love those, whisper.

_____________________________

My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
Post #: 6
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 6:24:36 PM   
CharlestonTim


Posts: 591
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Charleston, SC
Status: offline
you know I love my city. and I get passion about it when I start talking lol. thus the very SHORT version of:

"I never thought I'd see home again. then there she was... my city, with her twin towers over the cooper and her skyline of church steeples. oh holding in her historic stories and beauty for the world to see. come see my city!"

yay! I love her. we will be married, my city and I. yes being me as mayor.

_____________________________

"If you cant be used, then you are useless." - Kanye West.


My heart ticks in beat with these kids that I grew up with.

THIS. oh, this is where the magic happens.
www.MySpace.com/3390118

yeah!
Post #: 7
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 6:30:52 PM   
Konstantinos


Posts: 8140
Joined: 4/14/2005
From: Greece Thessaloniki
Status: offline
sure become mayor if that leaves open the throne of randomness!

_____________________________

I'm best friends with the boogie man.

I'm a beast.

I'm a HH.
Post #: 8
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 8:15:02 PM   
gorow9

 

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
Well here's a poem I wrote... I wasn't in the best mood when I wrote it... lol
“It” and “You”

It laughs menacingly in my face
Teasing me to beat it
I try, I fail
Failure is something I’m used to.
“trying is not enough”
“How hard can it be”
Well why don’t YOU try?
YOU could try for a day being ME

YOU laugh at me
Hear my truth and call it lies
I hear YOU say “There’s no way”
She lies again- when I don’t
Maybe I should start lying
So YOU won’t be wrong
But I can’t and I won’t
For that won’t get me any farther

But I won’t go anywhere
YOU laugh and say
“How can she? She can’t”
But I will try, I’ll prove YOU wrong
I’ll go far, I’ll use MY strengths
And when I get there,
If I have a chance to laugh at YOU
I won’t because I know it HURTS!
Post #: 9
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 8:16:36 PM   
gorow9

 

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
Here's a poem that I wrote for a friend of mine, Eric who died in a plane crash in March. He was an amazing person and I like to share this poem as a tribute to Eric Jacober.

Keeping On

The world keeps turning,
In school we keep learning-
But it’s not the same without you here too,
There’s a deep void- we’re missing you
You took a piece of us with you
And you left a piece of you with us

But as we reminisce, we cannot dwell
On what you didn’t do that you loved so well
You left a legacy no one else can fulfill,
But we will not forget you or remain still
We’ll take what we learned and that piece of you that you left us,
We’ll take memories of smiles, laughs and your incredible personality
And we’ll share those treasures.

Eric, we will NEVER forget you
Post #: 10
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 8:20:41 PM   
gorow9

 

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
If ya'll don't mine I'll share one last poem... (I love poetry and could go on for miles of posts but I'll spare you) I'll have to share more later though. I also love reading other people's poetry. I loved your poems, whisper... especially the first one. And Krystenteen that was pretty... (you can tell your sister)


I know.

I know I believe it and I know why
I know it’s true and it comforts me,
It’s a challenge, a leap, it’s not easy
It’s not fair but it is true,
It’s there, omnipresent and omnipotent
I know I believe it and I know it’s true
It’s all surrounding, I can feel it
I see it and yet I dismiss it.
I shouldn’t
It’s everywhere and powerful,
I’m weak and only here yet…
It affects me greatly,
In my thoughts my words and my actions
In my future, it saves me-
It is my Savior’s love.
I know I believe it and I know why.
Post #: 11
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 9:20:33 PM   
Purity88


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: the basement comp
Status: offline
Chapter eight:
Jamie was not to sleep in. Hours before the sun even dared to show its face, Jamie shook herself to wakefulness. She stared through the dark at the ceiling and the walls, recalling yesterday's events and gathering herself for the long day before her. Oh, God, I need you. I need you to sustain my hope and give me courage. You know all the days that are before me; you know my future. You promise it to be good. Sustain my hope in you.
She laid there for what seemed like hours before resigning to the fact that she wouldn't be able to sleep. She flipped back the covers and sprang to her feet shocked for a moment by the cold wood floor under her bare feet. Crossing to the window and pulling back the hand-sewn, peach colored curtains, she peered out, noticing the pale purplish light on the eastern horizon. Her breath left a mist on the cold glass.
Jamie turned to the bowl and basin set out for her. Gasping at the sudden chill, she splashed the clean water onto her face and patted it dry with the towel. To occupy herself, she dressed into the beige skirt and fresh blouse she'd laid out to air the night before. Then she took her brush and worked her long hair smooth, coiling the black braid in her usual way.
Last of all, she pulled her shoes over her stockings and hooked each one all the way up with patience. Glancing at the clock at the bedside and discovering it to be almost seven, she decided at long last to venture downstairs. Would Millie be awake? She knew at once that it was so when she opened the door to the hallway. The aroma of coffee, bacon, eggs, hoecakes and honey wafted from below.
Post #: 12
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 11:02:44 PM   
ShutterBox


Posts: 1024
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
Whisper, put all those poems in a booka nd publish them!!!! I wanted to melt when i read those! very very good!
Gorow9, very nice!

as for me y'all, i'll have to get back to this another time, lol. haven't writen anything in a while......except in the roleplay....hmm.....lol but you guys blow me away so it would be useless, I'd look like a total amature

_____________________________

The Picture Muse

Adopted Sibs:
Rae
Elizabeth
Nikki
Post #: 13
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 11:08:03 PM   
inlovewithshadowfax


Posts: 70
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Washington state
Status: offline
Ditto to what Ash said, minus the Role Play thread.

_____________________________

And I'm still fighting for the word
To break these chains
Can I still pray when I look in your eyes
Stare right back down
Into something beautiful


~"Something Beautiful"- Jars of Clay~
Post #: 14
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 11:14:44 PM   
CharlestonTim


Posts: 591
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Charleston, SC
Status: offline
When I was in elementry school I used to write award winning stories, evn had a few published in the metro newspaper.
then I stopped for some reason. BUT this thread makes me wanna write again.
I think I will write a new story.

_____________________________

"If you cant be used, then you are useless." - Kanye West.


My heart ticks in beat with these kids that I grew up with.

THIS. oh, this is where the magic happens.
www.MySpace.com/3390118

yeah!
Post #: 15
RE: Share what you've written - 10/1/2005 11:28:28 PM   
ShutterBox


Posts: 1024
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
here we go, this is the latest post from me in the role play. it is a story just more than one person is writing it, lol. here:

Ryu:

Ryu walked down the halls. She had been spending her time that night wandering about the place. A depression was settling in her, her life had been stolen away, and it was like she was thrown into this pit. Sure, she had allies: Raciel, Matthius, and now Gramps and Walker had been found, but these were not close friends and companions. She was alone, again! The hope of a home was burning so great within her, but the moment the helicopter crashed so did that hope.

"I can't let myself break. No, I wont allow it. I remember what Master Tanemora taught me: "Friends are only enemies in the making." Maybe that was bitter feelings instead of a lesson, but I wont chance it." .......


short, i know.....lol. where was this thread when I was in a poetic mood anyways??? lol jk.

_____________________________

The Picture Muse

Adopted Sibs:
Rae
Elizabeth
Nikki
Post #: 16
RE: Share what you've written - 10/2/2005 11:29:21 AM   
whisper


Posts: 128
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
Oooh! Gorrow- I really enjoy your poetry, Keep sharing it here! And Krysteen, I meant to say something about that poem but figured since the person who wrote it wasn't on here, there wouldn't be a point... but being her sister, you can tell her it was very good.

Ryu seems like a very interesting girl.

Purity, I like your writing style. Just enough description, just enough action, just enough of what is going on in the characters head.

Here's a little piece of something I wrote.... 5 years ago? I really should get back into writing fiction. This is a piece of dialogue between my two main characters in "Kissing Kaitlynn":

“You do know you’re insane don’t you?” Emma passed Josh the phone and sat beside him on the couch. “You’re going to call her? What are you going to say? You can’t even bring yourself to say more than hi to Kate in school.”
“Now that’s a lie. I talked to her practically all of last Physics class. She adores me” Josh laughed, “but maybe not as much as Frank likes you.”
Emma punched Josh in the arm and gave him her best evil glare, “Ok, you shut up right now! He is such a pig. You wouldn’t believe the way he was talking to me in the hall,” Emma shuddered, then looked at her best friend “and what’s this ‘all of last Physics class’ talk? You helped her with one of the questions. They’re hard, and you’re smart. Big deal!”
“The point, my cynical little friend, is that she asked me. She wants me, and you know it. You’re just jealous.” Josh smiled at Emma and began to dial the numbers. He stopped after three. “Ugh, What can I say?”
Emma didn’t seem to hear the question. “Jealous?” She laughed, “ That’s rich. I’m sorry, Josh, but you aren’t that good looking!”
“Yeah, and Mark’s better looking than I am?” Josh grinned, “just look at these baby blues. And I have at least 3 inches on him. Now, are you going to help me think of something to say or are you going to ignore me?”
“‘K, Josh? First off, your eyes are green, not blue. And I don’t like him anymore. I told you that in English, remember? Or were you even listening? Too busy drooling over Kate I guess, huh.”

Seems really shallow right now, but really there was a point to the conversation, and a lot more depth. In a nutshell though, Emma never liked any of these other guys, she likes Josh. Josh likes Kate- and by certain unforseeable circumstances, Kate and Emma are going to become very close friends. Alright, so it's still an immature and shallow plot... but come on! It was 5 years ago.

_____________________________

You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your bum. And who wants to make bumprints in the sands of time?
Post #: 17
RE: Share what you've written - 10/2/2005 11:40:33 AM   
Konstantinos


Posts: 8140
Joined: 4/14/2005
From: Greece Thessaloniki
Status: offline
quote:

Alright, so it's still an immature and shallow plot... but come on! It was 5 years ago.


Alright!

well I doubt its easy to make a good plot out of high school.

_____________________________

I'm best friends with the boogie man.

I'm a beast.

I'm a HH.
Post #: 18
RE: Share what you've written - 10/2/2005 11:42:29 AM   
whisper


Posts: 128
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
The following is the beginning of a story I wrote in 2000. I'm sharing it because it's very unlike other stories I write. This one is very externally focused- you learn very little about what is going on inside my main characters head. Also, I started the story very abruptly and got straight to the point in the opening paragraph. I never do that!

Coach discovered Danny’s arm when Danny’s parents were splitting up at the beginning of the season. Debbie and Frank Raine would have been married 22 years that Tuesday as Danny came to practice at the Wentworth Senior High ball diamond. He didn’t feel much like showing up that day, but he preferred the bench to home, and so he prepared himself for another season as the ever useless equipment manager.
The sun was strong and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The birch trees were a vibrant sea of green and white in the background where Danny set his sight. Had it been any other day, it would all have seemed so perfect. The 4 other 10th graders on the team were basking in the afternoon sun, as they stretched on the field. Danny sat alone in the dugout, as was his routine, and stared intently at the grossly beautiful forest that lay to the east of Wentworth High. Why must the rest of the world be so perfect as his whole life crumbled before him?

There's another story I wrote that I really like... but I don't have it on this computer, so I can't really share it. Oh well. Here's a poem instead:

Coffee Pot

glass shards on the kitchen floor
i have broken the coffee pot
and now as I'm sweeping up the mess
I know it is silly that I am crying
but it shook me how alone I am
crouching here with my dust pan
Strength comes back with time
and it multiplies with pain I'm told
but I'm kneeling in broken glass
trying to sweep up a shattered soul

7.18.05

_____________________________

You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your bum. And who wants to make bumprints in the sands of time?
Post #: 19
RE: Share what you've written - 10/2/2005 1:27:00 PM   
Purity88


Posts: 95
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: the basement comp
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whisper
Purity, I like your writing style. Just enough description, just enough action, just enough of what is going on in the characters head.


Wow I'm really glad you liked it! And if your story was immature... ha then I'm two years old. lol. I like my story (aka the novel I've been working on for quite some time) but I've never liked my writing. It just doesn't fold out on paper the way it does in my head. But, I think there's some truth to the whole, "sometimes you have to like your own writing before anyone else can enjoy it" thing, so I'm working on my attitude about it.
Post #: 20
RE: Share what you've written - 10/2/2005 6:44:38 PM   
gorow9

 

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
purity, i agree that your writing is very good! I like the descripiton and it makes me want to know mroe. I totally know what you mean about getting the words onto paper. I seem to be so much more eloquent in my head, I love to paint word pictures... but they're always better in my head. That said Istill loved your story clip. Share mroe

Whisper, I love your poem, coffee pot. I absolutly love it! You're really tallented with writing, I definatly want to hear more of your work. Also your "shallow" sory was still well written and it makes me want to read more... sometimes shallow is all my brain can handle... lol (sad but oh so true)

~Sarah~
Post #: 21
RE: Share what you've written - 10/2/2005 7:06:34 PM   
Konstantinos


Posts: 8140
Joined: 4/14/2005
From: Greece Thessaloniki
Status: offline
quote:

I've never liked my writing. It just doesn't fold out on paper the way it does in my head.


thats pretty impossible unfortunately...

_____________________________

I'm best friends with the boogie man.

I'm a beast.

I'm a HH.
Post #: 22
RE: Share what you've written - 10/2/2005 9:46:02 PM   
whisper


Posts: 128
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
Seriously not trying to dominate the thread here, but there are a few other things that I've written:


Cove

There is a small cove
a little stone beach
marred with tufts of grass
and without pretty shells
precious it is-
secret and sheltered
a meeting place for
the ocean and me.


Etre et Avoir

Etre and avoir
my darling
Etre and avoir.

I know that we can't dance
my darling
I know that it won't last.

And if you'll just be still
my baby
You'll see this will pass

So we can be and
we can have
that distant perfect love.

I see it in your smile
my darling
I feel it in your stance

And don't you let your eyes
my precious
steal that second glance

Another time
another place
let's leave it all to chance.


Frail

So odd to think that this palpable sensation
the rising and falling of your chest
the measured rhythmic moving of your heart
this timed performance that feels so changeable, tamperable
determines your very ability to be with me now
to look at me with those speckled brown eyes.
Frail, fragile, fleeting life
we hold on but this is not our end
not our biggest pot of gold
we fear the beyond but that is our place
and that shiny spec in your eye
is just a reflection of future glory
all our love- just a piece of the Father's presence
So every palpitation felt is movement
and every movement an opportunity for change
Let fragility quicken and inspire
your breaths are numbered but oh so powerful
breathe to speak- speak to inspire
inspire, expire, all to an end
look with compassion and be swift on your feet
carrying a message that will outlive your tired body
a body that one day will lay cold and abandoned-
expired.



_____________________________

You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your bum. And who wants to make bumprints in the sands of time?
Post #: 23
RE: Share what you've written - 10/2/2005 10:04:25 PM   
whisper


Posts: 128
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
I wanna read more stuff! Come post, people!

_____________________________

You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your bum. And who wants to make bumprints in the sands of time?
Post #: 24
RE: Share what you've written - 10/2/2005 10:12:42 PM   
Krystenteen14

 

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/9/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline
lol, I think some of us (or maybe just me) think that yours so are so good ours will look horribel up to yours! lol

_____________________________

God shape me the way that you want me to be, help me so that I am everything that you dream that I can be, and show me that I CAN be everything that you want me to be.
Post #: 25
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