|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/1/2008 8:55:03 PM
|
|
|
CaptainRonnie
Posts: 1696
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
|
randy, that is soooo sad! i started to tear up....you're definately a good writer if you can get that kind of emotion out of your readers. good job
_____________________________
Do NOT donate to the Feed-the-Mandy fund.....
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 5:54:07 PM
|
|
|
land-e-scape
Posts: 114
Joined: 4/3/2008
From: a galaxy
Status: offline
|
ok i wrote this almost three years ago and ended up hating the ending, so i just revised it, and now i like it :P
The Rainbow
God paints a picture for all to see
In the dew on the grass or the leaves of a tree
Tiny prisms that fall from the sky
Brilliant lights that sparkle to catch your eye
When a storm passes into twilight's soft glow
And leaves behind a beautiful, vibrant rainbow
< Message edited by land-e-scape -- 4/4/2008 6:40:08 PM >
_____________________________
To Hell With The Devil -- Stryper
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 7:55:27 PM
|
|
|
GrapeApe
Posts: 8921
Joined: 6/5/2006
From: the Land Where My Jokes come From.
Status: offline
|
 Somewhere... over the rainbow...
*ahem* oh, sorry.
That was good.
_____________________________
your love cuts like a knife into the darkest part of me.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 8:27:26 PM
|
|
|
land-e-scape
Posts: 114
Joined: 4/3/2008
From: a galaxy
Status: offline
|
thank you :)
_____________________________
To Hell With The Devil -- Stryper
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 9:08:28 PM
|
|
|
rae_of_light
Posts: 3472
Joined: 2/15/2007
From: The true North strong and free!
Status: offline
|
That was very pretty, land-e-scape. I like your use of imagery.
I've been contemplating putting up some poems I've written recently. I just dunno, people might think I'm weird....
_____________________________
I feel alive
And it hurts for a change
And looking back and it's hard to believe
That I was cool
With the days that I wasted complacent and tasteless and bored but
That was yesterday
"Never Going Back to OK", the Afters
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 9:09:03 PM
|
|
|
GrapeApe
Posts: 8921
Joined: 6/5/2006
From: the Land Where My Jokes come From.
Status: offline
|
Rae.
..
....
.........
DO IT!
_____________________________
your love cuts like a knife into the darkest part of me.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 9:09:06 PM
|
|
|
fabius
Posts: 237
Joined: 11/27/2007
From: Earth
Status: offline
|
If you post one I'll post one.
_____________________________
This message posted by fabius, the awesome.
I am the Resurrection and the Life-
Jesus
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 9:10:48 PM
|
|
|
land-e-scape
Posts: 114
Joined: 4/3/2008
From: a galaxy
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: rae_of_light
That was very pretty, land-e-scape. I like your use of imagery.
I've been contemplating putting up some poems I've written recently. I just dunno, people might think I'm weird....
thank you! :))
and don't worry about people thinking you're weird, because most likely they are too lol
_____________________________
To Hell With The Devil -- Stryper
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 9:11:52 PM
|
|
|
fabius
Posts: 237
Joined: 11/27/2007
From: Earth
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: land-e-scape
thank you! :))
and don't worry about people thinking you're weird, because most likely they are too lol
Believe me. They are.
_____________________________
This message posted by fabius, the awesome.
I am the Resurrection and the Life-
Jesus
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 9:18:41 PM
|
|
|
rae_of_light
Posts: 3472
Joined: 2/15/2007
From: The true North strong and free!
Status: offline
|
Hehehe, too true, too true. Maybe I will post one or two... I'll hafta type them out first though.
_____________________________
I feel alive
And it hurts for a change
And looking back and it's hard to believe
That I was cool
With the days that I wasted complacent and tasteless and bored but
That was yesterday
"Never Going Back to OK", the Afters
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 10:05:32 PM
|
|
|
ShutterBox
Posts: 1053
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
trust me you, I've already posted the worst poetry here(in a previous share thread) so that no one else could ever be embarrassed.
so POST!
_____________________________
The Picture Muse
Adopted Sibs:
Rae
Elizabeth
Nikki
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 10:14:44 PM
|
|
|
rae_of_light
Posts: 3472
Joined: 2/15/2007
From: The true North strong and free!
Status: offline
|
Okay, I'm gonna do it. It very flawed, I know. It has no rhyme to it or anything, it was just how the words appeared in my head after an experience that I had a couple weeks ago. The second one... I think I messed something up with the meter, I thought I was doing it right, but now that I look at it again, it's ALL WRONG. The type of poem I wrote, a quatrain, can have a couple rhyme schemes. The one I did was like abcb, but I did it backwards! Ick... So here's the one that doesn't rhyme.
------
Praise
A hundred eyes
cold
empty
They are watching
Waiting for me to
fall
fail
A thousand lips
vain
false
They are speaking
Telling me
lies
platitudes
Their words come
unfeeling
insincere
They feel validated
Their good deed done
prideful
arrogant
There I stand
weak
unsure
Their words swirling
Driving me to despair
I am broken.
------
So there it is, told ya it was weird!
_____________________________
I feel alive
And it hurts for a change
And looking back and it's hard to believe
That I was cool
With the days that I wasted complacent and tasteless and bored but
That was yesterday
"Never Going Back to OK", the Afters
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 10:16:50 PM
|
|
|
land-e-scape
Posts: 114
Joined: 4/3/2008
From: a galaxy
Status: offline
|
it's not wierd it's....contemplative
_____________________________
To Hell With The Devil -- Stryper
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 10:16:58 PM
|
|
|
ShutterBox
Posts: 1053
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
it's heartfelt, not a plastic mold. I like it, Rea.
_____________________________
The Picture Muse
Adopted Sibs:
Rae
Elizabeth
Nikki
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 10:31:08 PM
|
|
|
fabius
Posts: 237
Joined: 11/27/2007
From: Earth
Status: offline
|
That was a heck of a poem.
I said if you posted a poem, I would, but I'm too tired to think of one, so I'll do it tommorrow.
_____________________________
This message posted by fabius, the awesome.
I am the Resurrection and the Life-
Jesus
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 10:44:55 PM
|
|
|
GrapeApe
Posts: 8921
Joined: 6/5/2006
From: the Land Where My Jokes come From.
Status: offline
|
That was entirely atrocious, Rae. Seriously, why do you even bother? You used way too many T's.
It's not as bad as you proclaim. Stop being so hard on yourself.
_____________________________
your love cuts like a knife into the darkest part of me.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 11:21:35 PM
|
|
|
GrapeApe
Posts: 8921
Joined: 6/5/2006
From: the Land Where My Jokes come From.
Status: offline
|
This is about a second chance that's offered to all of us. Depending on whether we open up and let life take it's course in us.
A stranger graced Himself upon my doorstep,
Ripped and ragged clothing, with a stain from where He had wept.
His finger pressed upon the doorbell while the echo fills the hollow home,
Waiting patiently, wondering where they may have roamed.
Hair brushed over his pretty blue eyes, with palms filled up with sweat,
"Am I wasting My time?", is the thought that comes with regret.
I look outside my window filled with dust and dirt,
I gaze at Him from a distance and think, "what has He to offer me that is of worth?"
Tracing back into the corners of my dark and thoughtless mind,
I hear the doorbell ring for one very last time.
Standing still with no emotion or clue of what to do,
He was still outside with life while I was due to be renewed.
While hope lingers on the rotation of a doorknob,
Oh, what to do, what to do?
< Message edited by RatherDashing -- 4/4/2008 11:56:38 PM >
_____________________________
your love cuts like a knife into the darkest part of me.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/4/2008 11:23:05 PM
|
|
|
fabius
Posts: 237
Joined: 11/27/2007
From: Earth
Status: offline
|
W. O. W.
_____________________________
This message posted by fabius, the awesome.
I am the Resurrection and the Life-
Jesus
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/5/2008 8:43:13 AM
|
|
|
Lizzy_ard
Posts: 1088
Joined: 2/8/2008
From: NY
Status: offline
|
That was beautiful Randy. I liked yours too Rae! At least you had the courage to post it.
_____________________________
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:6-7
My blog
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Share what you've written - 4/6/2008 8:22:14 AM
|
|
|
Pipp
Posts: 41
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline
|
Watch out they'll swallow you whole and steal your purity. They'll take and hurt you and cut you. Watch out Kat don't forget who you are, you are loved. So don't try and fill that heart heart shaped hole with things that don't fit. be careful Kat they'll do what they can to turn you against your friends.
it is supposed to be lyrics to a song but i am not done with it yet !! so what do ya'll think about it??
_____________________________
I felt every teardrop when in the darkness you cried, and I strove to remind you that for those tears I died
There is no such thing as unsweetend prayers
www.faithfreaks.com/rocker_gurl_4ever
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
dont you dare. should i write it here? let me know what you think.
