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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/14/2008 11:08:02 PM
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funny_girl
Posts: 625
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I too was real good at stuffing/covering up my problems but thank God, I dealt with those things. I know the 'normal' process to healing and recovery is recounting all the wrongs done to us. I've been to the best counselors in the area from Ohio to California. What really helped me the most wasn't the counseling which gave a release to talk about it but it didn't take away the pain. What helped me the most was realizing that God had a plan and purpose for my life and Satan wanted me dead. Satan doesn't want me to accomplish my God given purpose. That made me so made that I was completely set free of the addiction. I was tempted from time to time but I'd always remember that revelation moment of purpose. This was before the Purpose Driven Life Book came out.
So girl, you're going to be alright. You don't want your problems to be your pets for the rest of your life. No way!
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/14/2008 11:09:46 PM
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funny_girl
Posts: 625
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(sorry about the choppy posts, the internet is really slow)
If you enjoy reading, a wonderful easy book to read that I can recommend is, "Total Forgiveness" by R.T. Kendall. The other recommendation that I can make is listening to Joyce Meyer and gobbling up the writings on topics that you struggle with. I can't tell you what a blessing that her ministry has been to me and helped me relearn how to think the way God would have me to think. My speakers are out of commission but for a long time I'd log online and listen to a topic of my choice as many times as I needed.
I look forward to your recovery.
I'm now a crazy missionary that gets to do some pretty wild stuff.
< Message edited by funny_girl -- 4/14/2008 11:18:45 PM >
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/15/2008 12:30:36 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement.
I went over to talk to my neighbor today. She supposedly has been sober since Christmas. Unfortunately, when I went over there at 10 am, she was already drunk. She recently lost custody of her son. She said that since she lost custody, she only sobers up for her meetings. 
_____________________________
Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/15/2008 1:50:05 AM
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everythingat
Posts: 114
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I've only posted a few times in this topic, and I apologize to all for not keeping up. My memory's terrible, due to being schizophrenic and all.
I just recently looked up all the symptoms of schizophrenia for the first time ever, even though I was diagnosed four years ago. I had no idea how much it affects me. No need to ramble about myself, the real reason for me posting at the moment is that I have an appointment with SSI Friday. I desperately need prayer that the government comes through with disability this time around. I need the health insurance, my meds are prescribed through my mom's name. I've been on the same medication for four years now, and it's causing me major problems. I'm also starting school in August, and there's no way I can do it without the help of government aid. Please remember to lift this situation up! I will do the same for all of you, as I should already be doing. Again, I apologize for not being here for you all.
I'm not a person trying to scam the government, it breaks my heart that I have to depend on them at all. I feel selfish even asking for prayer, this condition has been the root of almost all of my problems. I want to be strong and be able to stand on my own two feet, putting forth good in the world as God intended for me. My gratitude is endless for every person who lifts this situation up in prayer.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/15/2008 1:54:54 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
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Hi everything- I will keep your situation in prayer. I am in the same boat with disability and SSI.
_____________________________
Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/15/2008 5:15:36 AM
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agapetos
Posts: 5316
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
The directors of a women's drug rehabilitation center told me that an eating disorder is worse than a drug addiction. You know what? I don't believe it. I believe that an addiction is and addiction and you get over it by replacing the bad habit/addiction with something good for you. But we don't need drugs (or alcohol or cigarettes) to survive ~ we can avoid these to an extent. Food we need to survive! Addictions are addictions, but we don't always need to use the thing we are addicted to in order to survive.
Having said that ~ addictions are addictions and we need to learn how to deal with the things that have caused the addiction in order to overcome ~ sometimes it can take a long time for us to recognise that we have an addiction and it can take a long time to be able to deal with our lives without being reliant on that addiction. With God's grace, and our own work it can be done.
There are very few addictions that are an overnight addiciton ~ ie one day we're fine and the next we're not. Many creep up on us insidiously. It takes time and patience to break the addiction.
_____________________________
The loose cannon inside the ship is far more dangerous
than the storm that rages outside the ship.
My blog
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/15/2008 12:05:04 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
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When people have a food addiction, I think it is much different from other addictions.
_____________________________
Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/15/2008 3:15:56 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1383
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Roberta,
I am so sorry to hear all of that. I grew up in an alcoholic home and it was not fun. I ended up using that along with other things throughout highschool, but thankfully, never was addicted. You are going through so much right now and please don't feel bad about hiding it.
On the forums, you never lied about it, you just never brought it up, and I can understand why. Eventhough it was my dad who drank, whenever I would have problems in school because of it, I wouldn't say anything. I would have trouble getting the things I needed to do my homework. Participating in afterschool sports was hard and I was even kicked off of the cheerleading squad for missing too many games. Even when my teacher stood in front of the class and announced to them that because I was so irresponsible, they had to have a special tryout for my spot, I didn't say anything.
When he pulled me in the gym and started to yell at me about my lack of responsibility both in that and in school, I still never said a word. And I went to a small school where we had two grades in one classroom and everybody knew everybody except for me. I never did, and still never do let people get close enough to me in that way. You only did what you needed to do to survive.
But now you have let it out and are willing to face it. And of course it is going to be a struggle for you for the rest of your life. You are going to have hard times, but they will get easier. My dad has been sober for quite some time now. I am sure that in those first few days, you got sick and that was no fun, but it will get better. You can pm me anytime you want. I feel so bad for you.
You used alcohol to get you through whatever it was that put you in the spot you are in mentally and it got you. That is a very easy trap to fall into and all I can do is to say that I am very sorry. I promise to keep you in my prayers.
As for me, I spoke with my psych doc about my sleeping (or lack of) and we tried the higher dose of Ambien. That made my body tired, but my mind was still racing so now he put me on this other stuff that he promised woud do nothing but stop my mind from racing. I took it last night and my body was itching like you would not believe. So while I slept, that was good, but I was up for a couple of hours just scratching. So I am going to give it another try tonight and I am going to put some primrose oil on my arms, hands and legs to see if that will help. The med is a mood stablizer and I woke up feeling drugged today.
He told me to take it only at night so that is good, but he did put me on a dose that is in the middle of the high and low. I hate this. I got to the point one night where I was just so out of it that I had my husband take my meds because I seem to be building up quite a little pharmacy here.
Beth, thanks for the advice. Actually, I only watch one child 4 days a week and I have another who comes once a week during the school year. In Feb, I took another child who is here twice a week when my mom had to stop watching her, but her mom is a teacher so she is going to be gone for good in June. Then the child who comes once a week will be gone in May because his mom is having a baby at the end of May and will no longer be working. That will leave me with just the one who is here 4 days a week, but for most of the summer, she will stay home with older siblings. Plus, I have two weeks off when we are going to go on vacation.
I am so looking forward to that vacation and next September when I am down to that one child. She is the daughter of a friend so I am not going to just drop her. She will be going to school all day not this comming school year, but the next and I am no longer accepting new children.
I have spent the past ten years doing daycare both certified and now that I am under the legal limits, uncertified. I just got burnt out and with all else that I have had to deal with, I buried myself in my work. But my kids came out of it knowing lots of cool stuff. We went on lots of field trips, I taught them how to cook and bake, along with preschool type things before sending them to a preschool program. Now, on Friday mornings, they will go to a preschool program at church while I go to bible study and can have some time with decent women. Hopefully that will be a good thing. This is my first bible study on my own at my church. We have only been there since July and my husband and I usually go to class together, but Friday mornings are for women only. So we will see.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/15/2008 4:22:28 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 713
Joined: 12/29/2006
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Just because I am starting to see this thought creep up on us and now is not the time to debate it, there is no ranking of addictions in our lives.
An addiction is when we get to the point where we have to have that "something" in order to get through the day. It doesn't matter if it is an extra sleeping pill, a sip of wine, food or going to the bathroom to make sure we stay thin. The addiction has become an idol in our lives and must be removed in order for our relationship with God to continue to grow. Satan loves to use "inonence" things in our lives that we really don't think about. Watching what we eat so we don't get fat, taking our medications religiously so that we can stay "calm" (not saying that is a bad thing, but it can start to control us after a while), drinking the glass of wine with dinner so that we can make it through the evening, just needing somebody to show you a little bit of love (beyond the confines of marriage obviously)... These are all little things that quickly become big things as we become addicted. For each person it is going to be different. For Roberta it has been alchool. For funny_girl it was food. For some of the other ladies, I know it has been taking sleeping pills or other drugs (beyond what the doctor has given you!!) to keep going. All of these are addictions. All of these are tools of Satan. All of these are very hard to break and will be a struggle for that person for the rest of their lives.
For those of us who have never really had an addiction in our lives, we can not begin to imagine what it is like for these ladies who have suffered with them. I can not imagine what all Roberta is going through right now to start to break this addiction and the hold it has on her life. But I will be praying for her and offering encouragement as it is needed along this journey. I may be thousands of miles away physically, but I can still offer support and encouragement.
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/15/2008 6:17:01 PM
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funny_girl
Posts: 625
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quote:
But we don't need drugs (or alcohol or cigarettes) to survive ~ we can avoid these to an extent. Food we need to survive! Addictions are addictions, but we don't always need to use the thing we are addicted to in order to survive.
This IS the lie that the people with eating disorders want to believe to keep their addiction. There isn't a problem with food. The reality is that they're trying to control something. That's what it all boils down to.
So, when we can't control people we learn to release them to God. What is liberating for those who have an eating disorder because they can't control their weight we teach them how their bodies work and they are free forever!
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/17/2008 3:48:11 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
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Today was really stressful.
I went to work and had to correct a lot of errors that my replacement made. She's still in training, so it's understandable that she'd make mistakes. The problem is that she's not real "customer friendly" so customers get mad at her even though she's new. So, I had to deal with a lot of these customers and try to smooth things over otherwise they would go to our boss's and complain. Our boss's are dealing with a very serious family illness right now (trying to decide when or if to take her brother off of life support) so they really don't need to hear complaints about their stores right now. KWIM?
I had been there for an hour or so and I looked at the receipts. Normally on a Wed we process about 20 packages and do about $400 in business for the whole day. Weds. are really more of a cleaning day than anything. I looked at the receipts and noticed that we only had three packages so far, we had done less than $100 and had I think 7 customers and it was now 2 pm. I told the other lady that she could go ahead and head home. The driver comes at about 4:30 pm and stays until about 5:15 pm and we close at 6 pm. By the time I gave the driver the report to sign, he had loaded up 48 packages on his truck. There were many that he left behind because they wouldn't fit and didn't have to go today. By the time the last customer had been taken care of, it was about 6:30, I still hadn't eaten supper and I wanted to go to my 7 pm Bible study. I pulled everything up and read the totals- There were 53 customers and around $900 in business.
I wound up with a customer in there somewhere who accused me of racism because I told him that he had to wait in line and that he wasn't allowed to keep cussing at me. 
I'm glad I decided to go to Bible study.
_____________________________
Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/18/2008 11:32:32 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
Status: offline
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My counseling appt got changed from yesterday to Monday at last minute.
The new meds are making me groggy, but I'm not sleeping. My pdoc said to give them one more week.
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Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/18/2008 8:44:27 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 713
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
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Roberta- just so you know I am reading your posts - I just haven't been able to post much the past couple of days. Keep hanging in there. You are going to make it!!
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/19/2008 10:30:18 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
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Hi Beth - thanks. Still not sleeping and I have to put in a full day of work. How are you doing?
_____________________________
Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/20/2008 8:06:03 AM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 713
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
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I am doing okay. It has been a pretty up and down week. There have been several things that I have gone well (2 students accepted Christ this week!!!, the school found a new property, I have a phone interview tomorrow for a new job...) but there have been a lot of things that I have not gone well. I seemed like I could not make a good decision to save my life this past week. Every time I made a mistake, it seemed like my administrator was right there to see it. This is not good since I am looking for a new job and obviously will need his recommendation in that process. I also had some issues with co-workers and all I wanted to do was get on a plane out of here.
Today is a new day!!!!! Today is the start of a new week!!!! So there is hope in my life again. I am going to think before I act this week. I am just going to try to stay out of my co-worker's way this week and I am praying that God will give me the words to speak tomorrow during the interview.
Hope things are going okay for everybody else.
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/21/2008 6:25:08 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
Status: offline
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I've been ducking this thread. Giving up the alcohol is harder than I had planned on it being. I've slipped twice and feel really bad about it. I did tell my therapist about the problem today. She thinks that both issues will be too hard for me to deal with at this point in time, but feels the alcolohol problem needs to be worked on so that I can get the maxium effects from my meds and then work on the other problems.
She has me as bipolar and PTSD to help get me on disability.
_____________________________
Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/21/2008 10:02:54 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 713
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From: the middle of nowhere
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Roberta- you once again took the first step and that was to admit to us that you did slip. You are going to need the accountablity somewhere- maybe even to the point of somebody (us on here maybe??) asking daily if you have slipped. If you know that you are going to have to answer, it helps you to keep from doing it. I know it is a little bit different, but I have discovered this with my devotions. I know that my accountablity partner will ask me if I have done my devotions. I need to be able to answer her truthfully. If I skip, then I know I will have to admit that to her. So if you want it, I will be willing to check in with you each day (or 24 hour period) to see how you are doing. I want you to conquer this, but you can not do it on your own. It is going to take the Holy Spirit and you clinging to the Word of God to gain the strength to say no. It may also take having people to help hold you accountable. You can do this- I (Roberta) can do all things (avoid the temptation to drink) through Christ who strengthens me (Roberta). The Bible is living and active- sharper than a two-edged sword. I see no problem inserting your name for the pronouns, or your actual problem to help you overcome. The Bible is God's letter to you - make it personal by putting your name in there all the time to make it more personal. Hopefully you will qualify for disablity now - I know that will help as it will be one less stress. Know that I am praying for you and cheering you on from miles away!!!
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/21/2008 10:14:22 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
Status: offline
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Thanks Beth- yes, I do need an accountability partner, but I think it should be someone I know IRL. My pastor has been calling every few days to see how I'm doing, but I think that an accountability partner should be someone of the same gender- maybe that's just me?
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Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/21/2008 10:23:32 PM
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crimsonfollower
Posts: 713
Joined: 12/29/2006
From: the middle of nowhere
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yes it should be somebody of the same gender and yes it should be somebody IRL. However, you keep slipping because you don't have that. While it is not the best situation, again, I have no problem PMing you each day and asking the hard question. The hard part is I won't know if you are lying or not. I would look for somebody there that can help hold you accountable - but if you don't find somebody, choose one of us here. You need that accoutablity- period. Even if it is not the best senario right now, it will be better than nothing.
_____________________________
Beth
"Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God's will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect." Romans 12:2 ISV
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/22/2008 10:20:04 AM
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agapetos
Posts: 5316
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
I've slipped twice and feel really bad about it. And how many days have you not slipped?
quote:
I haven't had a drink since Wednesday. According to my date/time of posting, you wrote that on the 14th. The Wednesday before was the 9th.
Roberta, you've slipped twice in 13 days ~ what about the 11 days you haven't slipped ~ give yourself some credit!
I think you should discuss the idea of an accountability partner with your therapist before deciding what to do about it. Not having one isn't the reason you slipped (sorry crimsonflower, it's not). You need to think about who you would feel comfortable in confiding in and who would have the strength to tell be honest with you. You and your therapist should also discuss how your accountability partner can best help you.
I applaud the fact you have had some tough days at work and have made huge leaps forward in stopping drinking. Please stop beating yourself up over your slips. Sometimes it is taking a step backwards that can make us stronger to go forward.
_____________________________
The loose cannon inside the ship is far more dangerous
than the storm that rages outside the ship.
My blog
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/22/2008 1:22:03 PM
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Fritzpw_Admin
Posts: 7463
Joined: 2/28/2005
From: New Jersey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: crimsonfollower
yes it should be somebody of the same gender and yes it should be somebody IRL. However, you keep slipping because you don't have that. While it is not the best situation, again, I have no problem PMing you each day and asking the hard question. The hard part is I won't know if you are lying or not. I would look for somebody there that can help hold you accountable - but if you don't find somebody, choose one of us here. You need that accoutablity- period. Even if it is not the best senario right now, it will be better than nothing.
I don't think offering that crutch is in her best interest.
She realizes she needs someone IRL.
The Web can never replace that and attempting to do so is dangerous.
< Message edited by Fritzpw_Admin -- 4/22/2008 2:17:15 PM >
_____________________________
Fritz
Community Manager
fritz@salemwebnetwork.com
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/22/2008 2:02:51 PM
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manda59
Posts: 4841
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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Hey! 
You said:
quote:
ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
I've slipped twice and feel really bad about it.
Could I just remind you of your own words (to someone else):
quote:
We all make mistakes. We notice our mistakes more than others do and we remember them longer than others do.
How about giving yourself as much of a break as you give others?  
Slips are understandable because it's easier to go back to what is familiar than to try something new. As you persevere and get stronger, you will become more able to not just go for taking the easy way out.
Is your doc giving you any meds to help you come off the drink? Or are you just doing the "cold turkey" thing?
My opinion re accountability partners is that it *can* work (real time), but it can also be a stumbling-block. It can happen that the person starts to depend on the accountability partner instead of taking responsibility for themselves - and this is more likely to happen in someone who is prone to forming co-dependent relationships. I personally believe that the best accountability partner is someone who is a professional, and not a personal friend/relative.
The key to you beating this is identifying what need the booze meets in you. Booze is a suppressant, so the key is to become aware of what it is that you are trying to suppress, and learn to face it and deal with it in other ways - including, of course, learning to let God meet that need instead. It's often some kind of negative feelings, or negative thoughts that people are trying to avoid - like tapes that keep playing messages from long ago in your mind. Maybe this is something you can look at with your therapist, or a Christian counsellor who specialises in addictions. You can then be accountable to them, weekly, or however often your sessions are.
< Message edited by manda59 -- 4/22/2008 2:11:48 PM >
_____________________________
"Well said, Manda"
(BlessedMamaofMany May 2008)
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/22/2008 2:43:15 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: agapetos
quote:
I've slipped twice and feel really bad about it. And how many days have you not slipped?
quote:
I haven't had a drink since Wednesday. According to my date/time of posting, you wrote that on the 14th. The Wednesday before was the 9th.
Roberta, you've slipped twice in 13 days ~ what about the 11 days you haven't slipped ~ give yourself some credit!
I think you should discuss the idea of an accountability partner with your therapist before deciding what to do about it. Not having one isn't the reason you slipped (sorry crimsonflower, it's not).
You are correct that it's not the reason for the slip, but the slip might have been easier to avoid if I had someone IRL to talk to about it.
quote:
You need to think about who you would feel comfortable in confiding in and who would have the strength to tell be honest with you. You and your therapist should also discuss how your accountability partner can best help you.
I have been in prayer over the issue and so far the answer has been "wait" or maybe He's saying that I need to lean on Him more, not sure. He'll make the answer clear in His time, but I sure do get impatient.
quote:
I applaud the fact you have had some tough days at work and have made huge leaps forward in stopping drinking. Please stop beating yourself up over your slips. Sometimes it is taking a step backwards that can make us stronger to go forward.
quote:
manda59: Could I just remind you of your own words (to someone else):
quote:
We all make mistakes. We notice our mistakes more than others do and we remember them longer than others do.
How about giving yourself as much of a break as you give others?
That requires a behavior change that is hard for me to make. I've always held myself to a standard of perfectionism that I would not dream of placing on others.
_____________________________
Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/22/2008 2:45:08 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 2979
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: Concord, CA
Status: offline
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ugh- drives me nuts when I can't get the quotes to work right.
_____________________________
Roberta
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement. - 4/22/2008 2:49:24 PM
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WhiteNarcissus
Posts: 40
Joined: 4/18/2008
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Okay so one of my posts was discontinued :(
It was about how I'm in a relationship with someone just like me. I'm not saying that I have full blown narcissism... because I'm really not that bad. I think I just have traits. And I don't see a problem with having traits. Anyway I really like this guy (not as much as my old therapist) but he is only in love with himself. He is very fit 200 solid and only cares about his appearance. Now I only date men who do look good but this is way over the top. I would like to marry this guy and have children since I know our children would be beautiful because both their parents are beautiful. Question: How do I make him pay attention to me and less on himself? and why do I seem to attract narcissistic guys? Is it because I'm narcissistic I dunno? Any thoughs?
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