Originally published Monday, 27 April 2020.
“What do I know to be true about God?”
This was the question that continually ran through my mind as I walked through my garden. The spring sunshine was beating down on the damp earth and there were glimpses of green shoots reaching for the blue canopy above.
Daffodils were blooming and birds were flitting around the feeder. I bent over and picked a piece of lavender. Inhaling the calming scent, I let out a sigh.
This was hard. Life had thrown a curveball. In less than seventy-two hours I was being forced to take on a different role as a teacher, mother, and daughter.
It was out of my control and the constraints and expectations seemed to be cinching tighter with each turn of the hour.
I am a problem solver. My head screamed with solutions, but my heart raced with anxiety over the realization that I couldn’t fix any of this. I felt despair creep in.
The sneakiness of despair is, if left to fester like an open sore, it breeds discouragement and doubt.
In my search for answers over what was happening on a global, national, and local level, I began to feel myself question God and His goodness. I questioned His holiness and wondered if the events that were trickling into my everyday lifestyle were part of His sovereignty or a mistake.
The words of Isaiah 40:28-31 came to me in my quiet.
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength; Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young man shall fall exhausted: but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
My purpose in this unprecedented time in history was simple.
I was called to depend on the one who held the whole world in the palm of His hand.
I was called to trust that He would give me strength in times of weakness.
I was to believe that there was hope on the other side that would turn out for my good.
This calling may have looked different than I thought. For years I have been called to be a teacher, a working mother, a writer, a faithful daughter and wife.
But this new calling required me to allow myself to be pruned and cut. It demanded that I wait for His timing and not my own. It asked me to be patient with the process and be hopeful for the outcome.
It requires a minute by minute surrender, believing that He will hold me steady as I watch all that is familiar crumble around me.
Sometimes I want to pick and choose the promises of God. Maybe you can relate.
I nod when He tells me in Romans 8:28 that “…all things work together for good”. But I struggle when a few pages over He asks me to “Count it all joy…when you meet trials of various kinds…” (James 1:2)
Accepting who God is means that I am willing to believe all that He says to be true. I am willing to place my faith completely in the one who feeds the birds and clothes the lilies of the field.
Where do you find yourself these days? Are you weary? Are you anxious or struggling to believe in the goodness of God?
I want to encourage you to allow yourself to rest in Him and His presence. Read Psalms, listen to praise music, pour your heart out to Him through prayer. Ask questions and quietly wait for answers.
God sees us and He walks with us on this path of fatigue and uncertainty. Let the words of Eleanor Farjeon bring rest to your weary soul and praise Him.
Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing
Praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world
Sweet the rain’s new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass
Mine is the sunlight
Mine is the morning
Born of the one light Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise ev’ry morning
God’s recreation of the new day
Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing
Praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world
Laura Sumpter is a native of the Pacific Northwest. She has been a teacher for over 20 years and she loves teaching children and women of all ages how to practically apply Scripture. She counts her husband and three children as the greatest blessings of her life. When she is not writing or teaching you can find her at the beach, in her garden, decorating her home, or playing with her family. Laura lives each day believing that God is faithful, no matter the circumstance. She desires to express the deep and satisfying hope that only Jesus can bring. You can find the lessons God is teaching her at her blog or on Instagram.
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