Originally published Monday, 19 October 2015.
If you missed last week's What to do with Anger post, you might want to read it because today is a continuation of last week.
This article is an excerpt from Soul Sorting: Guided Journaling for Sorting Emotional Clutter and Messy Memories and can be purchased here. Relationship Tips
Anger often points to unforgiveness. Go through these steps to forgiveness from Pam Farrel to cleanse your heart from bitterness. Pray through them:
1. I forgive ________ (name) for __________ (specific offense).
2. I admit that what was done was wrong.
3. I don’t expect _______ (name) to make up for what s/he has done.
4. I will not use this offense to define who_________ (name) is.
5. I will not manipulate ____________(name) with the offense.
6. I will not allow the offense to stop my personal growth.
(From 10 Best Decisions a Woman can Make)
Maintenance
Taking care of those first steps is very important, but there’s more! It isn’t like you forgive the person and they automatically stop hurting you. They might keep on living the same way they always did. So you need to having coping strategies to combat the natural response of getting angry. When situations like these come up, try the following:
1. Ask God to give you His perspective of this other person. He loves and treasures them, so ask Him to help you see them like He does.
2. Ask God to help you see yourself through His eyes. Devaluating yourself will only increase the emotional unhealthiness in the situation. You are defined by your Creator, not the offenses of another.
3. Let go of expectations. Turn to the Lord to fill the emotional needs that you have. He knows what you need and desire, He made you that way and He has the answer.
4. Ask the Lord to be your defense. We often use emotional defense mechanisms that aren’t healthy in the long run. God is bigger than any person or hurt you may face, so ask Him to reveal Himself as the big God He is.
His Strength in My Weakness
Focusing on God’s strength instead of our own weakness is a good way to begin rooting out the gunk in our hearts. Use these verses to focus your thoughts and/or create a prayer based on Scripture.
And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness... Exodus 34:6 (NIV)
Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. Micah 7:18 (NIV)
Example: Thank You God for being so slow to get angry with me. Please teach me to be like You. Empty me of my anger and replace it with your compassion, love and grace.
Use a concordance (if you don’t have one in the back of your Bible or as a separate study tool, go online and use an online concordance) to find more verses and write your own Scripture prayers.
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