Originally published Monday, 20 January 2014.
"I’ve been wandering through this world Looking for an anchor to hold me...
Looking for a love that might free me...
I am looking to you, I am holding on to you."
~ Gungor, Wandering
I don't know when it was when I took my first steps.
Away.
But, I somehow left.
That beautiful place.
Where I once dreamed.
Of a little home for me.
Where I could feel the sunlight quietly rest on the floors touching my toes as I walk barefoot past the dining room.
Where I could peer out into the world through big, wide windows standing arms open in the living room.
Where I could see the grass lay down its carpet on the hills and turn shadows as morning rises out of the dawn.
I could make a turn into the bathroom and see white fluffy towels relaxed and still. Where later that night I could wrap around me to keep the steam warm on my skin.
I could walk into the one room where my bed would be made, with a bowl of roses set on a nightstand, whose petals are softening to kiss the water.
A Home
There, I could turn some pages. I would read.
There, I could sit at my desk. Pick up a pen. Open my journal and write. Maybe even sing.
I would lie down, look up at the ceiling and see the shimmer of a breeze blow through the leaves of a tall tree framing my bedroom view.
And if I got hungry, I know I could make my way to the kitchen. And there would be something sweet to eat like strawberries. Or soft like bread for my tummy.
And later, if I wanted to feel the wind and hear my breath out in the open air, I could put on some socks, find my shoes, open the screen door and walk outside.
This isn't a home I could give you the address to.
But, it's a home nonetheless.
It's one we all carry resting inside each of us. Still. Warm.
Traced His Fingers
It's where we go when we find ourselves most alive. Most intimate and real.
Where we laugh. Cry. Dream. Move. Create. And have our being.
This is where we go to find rest.
It's the space God architected gently, quietly -- with great care and attention to detail -- where He traced his fingers in the dust and made your handprint.
Maybe, like me, you thought no one saw you as you were being made.
Maybe, like me, you wonder what God was thinking when He was looking at you -- holding you -- as you lay eyes closed in His hands before He breathed in your first breath.
Handmade. With thoughtful intention. Designed to be lived in. To breathe and rest in.
It's your soul.
My soul too.
Spiritual Whitespace
I've traveled a long and winding journey. Through the valley and trauma of childhood memories. That are hard. Painful. Confusing. Lonely.
And yet, wrapped in each troubling unraveling, a path has been opening wide -- deeper -- straight into the heart of where God's hand has reached out touch me.
My healing has come -- and is coming -- each time I step back into this beautiful, quiet space.
I call it spiritual whitespace.
It's the place where our soul rests.
Where we connect with God.
To find our voice.
To hear God's voice.
Where we can feed our souls.
Where I Return
Here, in spiritual whitespace, I return to who God made me.
And I enter into this whitespace whenever I take steps to feed my soul.
What feeds your soul?
What brings you back home?
Where you can dream dreams.
Spend the time to feed your souls --
We all need comfort.
We all long for peace.
We all long to just "be me".
So you can hear God whisper to you --
You were made to be loved.
You were made to be held.
You were made as the {Beloved}.
{His Beloved}
Be. Loved.
Take the time to {be Beloved}.
Feed your soul.
Take time to rest.
"Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him,
for he shields him all day long,
and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders."
~ Deuteronomy 33:12
~~~~~
What feeds your soul -- what gives you rest?
How is God prompting you in the new year as #theBeloved?
Pull up a chair. Savor this moment. Let your heart speak. Click to comment.
Revell will be publishing my memoir-driven book this summer June 2014. My book chronicles my one year journey through childhood trauma to find God's rest and celebrates the beauty of faith. The title and book cover are not officially announced yet, but you can receive updates about the book and my heart-vulnerable journey to publication. Just sign up by clicking here for an informal newsletter called Faith Shots. Think of it as a letter from me to you every now and then.
~~~~~
By Bonnie Gray, the Faith Barista, serving up shots of faith in everyday life.
Today's post is part of Bonnie's {Beloved} series, where becoming #thebeloved and #soulrest is the conversation. For more soulful encouragement on the journey of faith, join Bonnie at on her blog at FaithBarista.
Bonnie Gray is an inspiring Christian writer and blogger, serving up shots of faith in everyday life. Bonnie is founder of FaithBarista.com and featured writer for DaySpring (in)courage. Bonnie's debut book will be published by Revell in June 2014. Bonnie is a native Californian living in the heart of Silicon Valley with her best friend Hubby, wrangling their two heaven-sent boys on the homestead.
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{photo by manisha}
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