Why I'm Looking for Silly Love

Originally published Thursday, 13 March 2014.



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Let's face it, we all act a little silly in love. 

Once, when I was a junior in college I fell down an entire flight of stairs in my apartment. An entire flight of stairs.

Why?

Because I was too busy texting a new romantic interest. A cute boy had shown interest in me, despite my entire lack of coordination and grace. I was excited, so I skipped a step.

If we're all honest with ourselves, we know that sometimes, as women, we have swooning-tendencies when it comes to falling in love.

But even if you don't classify yourself as a girly-girl when it comes to crushes, or dates, or being swept away by romance, there are still ways of acting crazy in love with people that we know and trust outside of the context of romance, isn't there?

I have a group of girlfriends, my a capella group from college, who I can be completely, unabashedly, whole-heartedly myself around. We're released from having it all together around each other. We can be run down, anxious, sad, happy, goofy, mean, ridiculous, inspiring for no reason. Or. For many reasons. All at once.

We can playfully yell at people on the street from the inside of our cars. We can become regulars at the local tavern and sing along to "Everybody Wants to Rule the World," that the band plays. Every time.

We can be the very worst and the very best versions of ourselves together.

It's silly. It's love.


Sometimes, though, we feel the need to be our very best, serious-selves for everyone around us. At work, at play, on the internet...

Or even, through our quiet times and devotionals.

I was explaining this to my current love interest earlier this week. A man who makes me smile and laugh. A man I can be silly with.

I confessed him that it was hard for me to carve out time each morning to pray and journal when daily routines get in the way, or when I'm (honestly) struggling very much to believe it all in my very core.

It seems a little silly, sometimes. To trust a God you can't see. To trust His word. To base careers, and schedules, and life goals around an entity that we can't see.

But I know that God loves me, still. Even in the midst of doubt. Even in the midst of pushing him away. I know that I can be completely myself, the woman full of so many contradictions, to this Being that guides my path, even when I'm too silly to stop and realize what is going on.

He doesn't dismiss my struggles. And He doesn't glaze over them either.

He takes me deeper and deeper. Absorbing me into love, circumstances, relationships, friendships, community and daily tasks that allow me to be myself. The very best and the very worst.


photo credit: only alice via photopin cc

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