Originally published Wednesday, 08 October 2014.
Father, you called me to quiet recently, and I don't want to ignore it. I can't hide that part of me that wants to achieve and to produce. I can't hide that part of me that likes to run hard and loud and fast.
I trip a lot then. And I tire. Again and again I try to run a race all on my own, and you love me so much you let me do it.
So I am here, telling you I am tired of running a race alone. I am tired of trying, so much. I want to run hard this race you've given me to run, but I only want to do it with you.
Loneliness comes from shutting you out, from not opening the door, from seeking for the lost piece of me that is only found in you.
I want to love well, God.
And I want to be quiet with you.
I am yoked with you, and I want you to set the pace.
My friends, here, these girls of yours who gather close and desire you to gather them even closer, are longing for quiet, too. They want to be with you and hear your voice and stay, as long as they can bear it, in the quiet with you. But it's hard, sometimes.
I want to be married. In the quiet, will you ask me to lay that down?
I am scared of what will happen in the quiet, God. My heart is too heavy, my head is too full. I am afraid to quiet, because the noise inside me feels too loud.
My daughter is hurting, Father. Can I stay here, in the quiet, with You? She is suffering. It is so hard to bear.
I have allowed the busyness of this age get to me so much lately . . . my soul is aching to sit with You.
What do you have to say, God? In the quiet with you I haven't been speaking. I have been watching you, these pictures of you and me, often as a little girl--sitting in tall grass, yellow wisps of stalks bending near my cheek. Or we have been running, your hand tight around mine. And the hill below is so beautiful and vast and there is water down below and we head to it, and you are laughing. So often, you are laughing.
But, Jesus, I know you cry, too. And I know you ache, too. And I know you draw us close to you with this love of yours that is sometimes too much for us to accept. But we want to see you. And we want to hear you. And we want to know you.
What do you have to say to these girls of yours, Jesus, who want to sit with you, in the stillness, and be reassured by the presence of the only One who brings hope and light and calm?
My darlings, there is no right or wrong here. (And there is no way you can outrun me, my love.) There is no way you can sit with me and do it wrong.
Yes,the quiet can feel like noise, sometimes. Everything feels amplified when you are trying hard to not be distracted. Or, the noise is welcomed distraction, when you are afraid to sit with me. Don't be afraid to be with me.
There is not one word I can say now that will convince you to sit with me. There is not one word or story I can share--or encouragement I can offer--when your heart doesn't want to hear it.
You know I want to be with you. You know I delight in having made you. You know I rescue you. You know I have plans for you that are better than anything you could ever dream up on your own.
But to hear me? To really hear me? That is to simply be with me. You can't hear me unless you want to be with me. You can't see me unless you want to see me. You can't feel me unless you believe I am here. I am here.
I want to be with you, and I am with you. But you have to let go and trust me more than yourself. Let your mind go. Let your emotions open up. Let your heart guide you to deeper places with me.
There are no rules where I am, with you. I take you to deeper places where you are known and you are free. Time with me stirs you to know yourself more. You see glimpses of who you are, how I see you. No words can convey that. No words can convince you you are mine and you are loved; only time with me will. Only time with me can bring your heart to me. Only time choosing me--time choosing me above anything else--can rescue you, can let me rescue you.
And I want to show you how I rescue you and how I love you and how you are safe here, with me. So take a risk--something new and exactly perfect: Be with me. It is who you are. It is what you are made to do. Be with me. We will stay and we will go and I will awaken in you parts of yourself that have been dead and asleep.
Wake up now, child. Wake up and see the light. It is on you. It is with you. I am here. Sit still with me and we will go places you have always needed to go.
I can't wait.
Sisters, let's keep staying in the stillness with Him--a little each day? How amazing to do it together. It may be quiet, but there's a lot of action here we don't want to miss out on. What do you think?
{This post first appeared at www.youaremygirls.com.}
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