Originally published Wednesday, 28 August 2024.
One of my dearest friends and I have known each other for more than twenty years. Years ago, we both lived in the same apartment complex and often shared meals to save money. We had very little to call our own. As young single mothers, we furnished our government-issued apartments, albeit sparingly, with previously-owned, heavily-used, furniture, bedding, dishes, and the like. Often, we were the thankful recipients of other’s throwaways. We stretched every dollar farther than imaginable. We worked long hours and often had more debt than dollars. We clipped coupons, worked multiple jobs, held garage sales, whatever was necessary to ensure we provided for our young families. There is something about my friend that struck me years ago, and it is still true today. She is the most grateful woman I have ever met. I mean, she is a truly, truly grateful person. Whatever the season, this girl finds herself in she just oozes thanksgiving. Sadly, I cannot say that I have exhibited that same sense of gratitude every day.
In recent months, I have become increasingly aware of the lack of gratitude that many of us suffer from. There is a seemingly growing trend among people who have a sense of expectation that somehow, something is owed to us simply because of our very existence. What we have is never enough. We always want more. If we are hungry and the food bank is passing out bread, we want two loaves instead of one. If the church is giving away free coffee after Sunday service, we are irritated that it is not Starbucks. If we are single, we want to be married. If by chance we are married, we want a better spouse. We want to be thinner, prettier, richer, a a good job, then a better one. Once we get the job that job is no longer the best job, so we search for the next job. Sad thing is we are raising children who are just as bad. They are not grateful for the new toy you bought they want the best toy. They insensitive to financial boundaries, because culture (us) permeates the greed of more, more, more, and the pursuit of that façade will never make us happy, fulfilled, or thankful or grateful.
As a child, can you remember possessing a sense of awe and wonder about the world? Do you remember looking to the sky in awe of how big, blue and impressive it seemed to be? Do you remember saying childhood prayers where you thanked God for the flowers, the trees, and the very air you breathed? We were thankful for moms, dads, sisters, brothers, a roof over our heads, and food in our bellies. A what age does that shift? When do we stop being thankful for the little things and focus on the big ones? When do we determine that only the blessings that we deem big enough are worth thanking God for? In fact, what gives us the right to even categorize any of God’s blessings on our lives as small?
If we are not grateful for this thing, we will never be grateful for that thing - whatever that thing is. It is a true fact. That new hair color, promotion, ministry opportunity, job, car, house, or friends will never be enough. We will always be looking for the next best thing. Here are some tips I am using to ensure I have an attitude of gratitude every day:
1. Choose to be grateful for what you have. This is something you have to be intentional about daily. We may not have everything we are praying for right at this moment, God is our provider, who gives us what we need. Regardless of what you may be in need of there is always someone somewhere else whose need is far greater than yours. God is a good God who has given us good things. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God’s plans for us are for a hopeful future. What do you have that you can be thankful for today? Do you have access to worship in a local church? Do you have access to transportation, food, clothing? Do you own a Bible? Do you have your health? Do you have children? A best friend? A loving pastor? A job? Education? Breath?
2. Keep a journal. It seems simple, but there have been many times in my life that I cried out to God, begging Him for something in particular. I was overwhelmed and distraught about a situation that seemed enormous at the time. I is impossible to tell you how many times God has answered a prayer that I have completely forgotten I that I prayed! Being able to refer back over years of journals allows me to see the evidence of God’s hand at work in my life. It is humbling and fresh washing in gratitude.
3. Keep your head from swiveling. Yes, stop looking to left and right at everything and everyone else that has something going on. Stop worrying about how much money they make, how eloquently they speak, how beautiful they sing, or how pretty they are. God made you, your life, and the plan He has for you are completely separate and unique. The constant comparison what she has that we do not is the very reason we cannot be thankful for God’s blessings in our lives.
4. Remember that we deserve death. God does not owe us anything, but eternal separation according to Romans 6:23. But in God’s amazing grace, He chose to send us a Savior in His son, Jesus. If God decides never do anything else for you in your lifetime (which is unlikely), understand this, that He has already paid the ultimate price so would not get what we deserve!
Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others.
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