Soul Ties and Single Parents

I was raised in a small, conservative, more traditional church. It was common to talk about God and Jesus, but rarely did we discuss the Holy Spirit. I always perceived the Holy Spirit as kind of "too spiritual" maybe "too unknown" or "too scary", so I just didn't talk much about it. Our church sometimes talked about wanting the Holy Spirit to show up, but I often wondered if we feared that it actually would! In fact, if I'm being really honest.... I would often go to church with a friend of mine, because I felt the Spirit moving there far more than at my own home church. 

Soul Ties is one of those subjects that didn't get mentioned much in my church as I grew up, if at all. I found that myself and many of my Christian friends didn't discuss the things unseen, spiritual impact, or the warfare that takes place every day -- even though the Bible talks clearly about it. As I began deeper work with singles and single parents in the church, I learned the topic of Soul Ties was a must-teach for that special group.

Have you ever heard of Soul Ties? Admittedly, it was a new term for me in my early Christian walk, as well. You will not read those words in the Bible necessarily, and I haven't found it to be a frequent discussion in churches. But the simplest definition for a soul tie is spiritual tie. Spiritual connections/ties are often referred to in the Bible.

Okay, so here are some of the ways a Soul Tie is developed:

* Sex (Eph 5:31)
* Close relationships (as in with Jonathan and David in 1 Sam. 18)
* Vows & Commitments (such as "I will always love you." "You and I will be together forever." And so on).

As you can see, Soul Ties can be really cool, as with Jonathan and David and the close friendship they had. I've had amazing spiritual ties with friends in the ministry, long-time friends, and others that God brought across my path. Soul Ties can be life-giving, empowering, and equip us to do ministry better. 

Soul Ties also exhibit the closeness and importance of sex inside marriage, outside of just the physicality of it, but rather the spiritual aspects. However, Soul Ties can also be detrimental, such as when we have sex outside marriage, a marriage fails, we pursue an unhealthy relationship, or we speak eternal vows that tie us (such as telling a boyfriend we will always love him and then telling that to ten other boys through the years).

Soul ties are dangerous when you have had sex with multiple partners, verbalized eternal commitments to others, pursued close unGodly relationships and friendships, or had a failed marriage. It's important to recognize who you are tied to, before you can break free from the tie.

Maybe you've struggled with this and didn't even realize it was a soul tie. Are you a single mom who has struggled to move past the hurt from your ex? Do you struggle with commitment to a new friendships or relationship due to past hurt? Do you find it hard to end a relationship that you know is bad for you? Or maybe you feel like an ex has some type of "hold on you"? Have you struggled with sexual sin? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you have most certainly struggled with soul ties.

Let's talk about some ways to break free from soul ties:

* One way to break a soul tie is confessing sin, when applicable. If you have had sex outside marriage, you have formed a spiritual tie to that person. You have to confess the sin and repent.

*If gifts were given in an unholy relationship, GET RID OF THEM. Don't hold on to a shirt, a teddy bear, a letter, etc., given to you in an ungodly relationship. You're inviting trouble into your home and head.

*If you have made a rash commitment to someone, (I will always love you. There will never be another man for me.), then renounce it and repent of it, aloud. And...be careful to not keep doing it!

*Breaking Soul Ties also means forgiving the person. This is a tough one for single parents who have been hurt by an ex or who are still seeing a struggle with the commitment the ex has to your children (or lack of commitment). But if you don't forgive, you don't move on. He/She will have you captive to the past from now on. Release it.

*There is power in the name of Jesus. If you discover Soul Ties in your life and recognize you need to break them, renounce the tie in Jesus' name, aloud (even if you aren't comfortable with it and feel a little weird).

Jennifer Maggio is an award-winning author and speaker who travels the country sharing her personal story of homelessness, abuse, and teen pregnancy. She is founder of the global nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom, and has appeared on countless radio and television programs. For more information, visit http://www.jennifermaggio.com.

photo credit: ©GettyImages/Antonio_Diaz