When You've Lost You

When You’ve Lost You 

 

Whether you have been a single mom for six months or many years, the transition into single parenthood can be a challenging one. There is so many unanswered questions and for people like me, who hate change, it can be especially hard. I am the type of person who loves the expected. I love safe places, boundaries and normalcy, I am not big on surprise parties or surprises in general. Well I guess you can say I am one of those boring type of people, you know the predictable kind. I think that the same can be true for many single moms. There is a part of us that just likes to know what to expect. When we are transitioning into single parenthood, there is just NOTHING expected about that journey!  

One of the most important things you can do for yourself as you move forward is to diligently seek and search until you find yourself again. Those who are lost MUST be found. Some of you became a single mom recently and so you are just trying to get your feet planted back on solid ground, finding your bearings, and keep pushing forward.  But you moms who have been single for a while, do not think this article is not for you! Here is what I have found to be true. Finding ourselves again, after a trauma and pain, is hard, and we will never do it, if we are not intentional about that it. You are too important to let “YOU” disappear. Many single moms are simply putting one foot in front of the other, trying to make ends meet, surviving day by day, barely coping. Her is what the Lord says about you,  

 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 

Yes, you have had an unexpected life change that does not mean God has forgotten about you or counted you out! He has plans for you. He can and desires to use you. He has gifts and talents implanted inside you. He wants you to use those for His glory. So where do you begin? 

You begin with healing. We have written so much about healing over the last several years, both on our public website and the membership page, so, I encourage you to visit our website often at www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.  There are some steps to healing that you want follow to begin and work through the healing process.  First and foremost be patient, healing is a process, miracles occur instantaneously.  A scab does not say you are healed it says there is a healing process taking place on the inside.  Remember our hearts, our emotions, our soul, all of our brokenness, suffering, hurt and pain is housed inside of us that is where we must be healed. Sometimes healing can take a long time, hear me clearly, it is not impossible to be heal from your hurt. All things are possible with God I am a living and breathing testimony to that truth!  

After you have worked through your healing, you must begin to dream again. Yes, you read that right, dream again. You have dreams inside you that you have put on the back burner or tucked them away deep inside you. Why is it that as moms we have no problem empowering our children with their dreams?! We say, “Yes, Johnny, you can be the next President. Absolutely, you can open your own law firm, be a business owner, become a musician,” we are our children’s biggest cheerleader. Yet, somehow along the way, the pressures of life took our ability to dream for ourselves! The best thing you can do for your children is to accomplish your own goals and dreams. What better testament of God’s power and strength living through you than to work towards a God-given dream and actually accomplish it, with His strength?!  

The best thing I can tell you about learning yourself again, finding yourself who you once lost, and embracing the season you are in is to trust God with your future. FULLY trust God! Things may not look like you thought they would have. Your circumstance may be different than you expected, it may be harder than you ever thought it would be, be reassured that your God is still on the throne. He is still with you, still making a way for you and your best days are yet ahead. God had not been derailed by a temporary set-back in your life now that is surly good news for you. Lay down the worry, the anxiety about your future, and fully trust the Creator of the universe. He has the master plan, He can plan for us, far better than we could ever do for ourselves.   

 

Jennifer Maggio is a national voice for single mothers and hurting women. Her personal story has been featured in hundreds of media venues including The New York Times, Daystar Television, The 700 Club, and many others. She is CEO/Founder of The Life of a Single Mom Ministries, a national nonprofit that works with churches to develop single mom’s programs and ministries, totaling over 1600 groups currently. 

The Life of a Single Mom has served over 500,000 single mothers over the last decade and counting.  Maggio is an author of several books, including The Church and the Single Mom. For more information, visit www.jennifermaggio.com. 

 

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others.