Originally published Thursday, 15 January 2015.
Lately, I feel like I have been operating in the weeds.
I can't seem to catch up with the constant list of to-dos in my mind.
I can't seem to organize my disorganized life.
I can't seem to find peace amidst the shuffle of bills that need to be paid.
How do you do it all?
I feel like I am running after the impossible, yet I know the Lord has called me to run towards Him. I have heard his call loud and clear.So, I run towards my calling. I run to offer soul-quenching words to weary hearts. I run to be a full-time mom to two kids. I run to be a great wife to an extraordinary husband. I run to be a strong bible leader in my community.
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 3:14)
I want to live my life in a way, where at the finish line called heaven, I fall down at Jesus' feet knowing I gave it all to him - and for him. I want to run this race with my whole heart. I want to run this race with power. I want to run this race with focus.
I won't back down on this. God has placed this desire in my heart for a reason. I won't pretend that who he made me to be is not good enough.
Because, really, aren't my organizational deficits just eternal badges of honor for the heart work that I am laying for the Kingdom of the Lord?
Aren't the to-do's that I can't seem to do, just things that are in the peripheral view?
Aren't they things that I will eventually get around to do?
Why let them rule me?
Why let them define my worth?
Why let them dictate my effectiveness?
Because, momma can't do it all. She can't do it perfect, all the time.
It's impossible.
God doesn't call us to that.
And, perhaps it's ok to feel overwhelmed sometimes, because feeling flooded by the waters of life, gives us the chance to walk on water by faith. It gives us the chance to reach our hand out to Jesus so that he can help us supernaturally walk on water. Here we can rise above the flood. Here we can trust the living water.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid. (Mt. 14:27)
And, maybe, it's much more about trusting than it is about doing.
And, maybe, it's much more about being than it is about striving.
And, maybe it's much more about being filled than it is about being skilled.
Because the Lord says, when we pour out, he will pour right back in to us.
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Luke 6:38)
So we can give up our hearts. He will fill them.
We can give up our time. He will hand it back to us.
We can give up our closets. He will return us something much greater.
We can give up our perfection. He will pour into us his love.
We can give up our anxieties. He will dump peace all over us.
We can give up our fears. He will measure back courage.
We can give up our own ways. He will overwhelm us with his love.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 5:13)
Let us fill up on Him. Let us fill up with his ways. Let us fill up so we can run hard. Because, when we do this, we will be filled with joy and peace - ready to be poured out abundantly, on others, as we run our race for the Lord.
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