Originally published Thursday, 27 June 2013.
I once heard that having unforgiveness in your heart towards someone is like drinking poison and expecting it to hurt the other person……ouch…. The grudges (unforgivenss we hold in our hearts is dangerous, for us) the process of forgiveness is for us, for our heart. Solomon, the wisest man whoever lived said “guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life, everything flows from it”…. God wants us to forgive, He commands us to forgive, but see He created the universe, that includes you and I – so He knows what is best for YOU and ME. I not only know this because it is in the Bible, I know this because I have experienced the process of forgiveness and it is powerful….. a very wise mentor of mine taught me this process below and it is so very helpful…..
The Process of Forgiving Someone- Actually Doing it!
1a) Confess your own sin of unforgiveness to God
Say it aloud-
1b) Acknowledge the hurt……
(if you feel you can’t forgive a person, back up one step before you acknowledge the hurt-taking responsibility for your self asking God to cleanse you of unforgiveness
Say it aloud-
2-Acknowledge how it made you feel…..
It made me feel frustrated, bitter, hurt, rejected, unloved, devalued, mad, sad, ugly, left out, unwanted, unappreciated, unworthy, stupid,……………..(just examples)
I can’t believe you did that to me……..
It makes me so disappointed that……
I hate you for what you have done to me….
I wish things were different, I wish you would…….
I wish you were not even my son, daughter, father, mother, husband, wife, brother, sister, friend……
Say it aloud-
“You do not deserve it and it was NOT ok for you to treat me that way”
3-“BUT I choose right now to give you the gift of forgiveness I hand you over to God for Him to deal with you”
“I release you. I let you go right now from the apology, debt you owe me. I cancel out anything you owe me, you never have to make it up to me or pay me back. You are free. You are forgiven. I totally release you”
Say it aloud-
4- “I accept you name of person unconditionally, without any strings attached, right now. I release you name of person of the responsibility to make me feel loved and accepted. I look to the Lord Jesus Christ from this moment on to meet my need for security, love, acceptance, approval and significance. To be heard, understood, for kindness, tenderness, romance and gentleness.”
Say it aloud-
“I am willing to be hurt again if God allows it. I don’t want to be hurt again but I let that go also right now into God’s hands.”
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