Originally published Monday, 10 June 2013.
For the past couple of days I have been in a weird place.
See, Last Friday, I spent a really nice evening with Jesus.
I had a strong sense about something I had been thinking on for a short time and it seemed even more clear as I prayed and prayed that this might be the direction the Lord is leading me to go. It did feel a little odd, because it seemed SO impossible, but at the same time, the possibility of it made my heart jump for joy!
I love this quote from Mark Batterson’s book called Wild Goose Chase! Mark writes “I don’t want to do things I am capable of doing. Why? Because then I can take the credit for them. I want to see God do things in me and through me that I am absolutely incapable of so I can’t possibly take the credit”
As Pastor Louie Giglio says, Jesus created each one of us uniquely to do a certain something on this earth to make Jesus’s name famous, it doesn’t matter what you do as much as it matters why you do it! He also talked about this unique purpose being something that made us come alive!
Pastor Louie of course will explain it MUCH better, listen here to his series Passion + Purpose #promise it will bless your socks off!
The leading I had from God was subtle, but seemed so Him! It would be something that He would want done, (it is His heart), and again something that I do love, but forgot I loved and NEVER thought I could do.
That night I had a horrible nightmare, then the next day the doubt started in and I didn’t even notice it at first. I just started to even doubt God had a plan and purpose for my life, I started to doubt all the sudden God’s power, His truth, it was all so subtle, I didn’t really notice. I found myself acting out of a little jealousy, revenge, worry, wonder, telling myself I am over spiritual and everyone probably thinks I am a whack. And then today, I was taking offense, comparing, feeling disconnected from God, it was ALL so subtle, I honestly didn't even really notice it. A few thoughts did come to my mind, that I noticed didn’t line up well to how I usually think when I am walking closely with Jesus, but I brushed it off!
And then tonight, I sat down with a devotional that asked me to ask God what lies I was believing. Honestly I thought myself, “none. I am good!” {and there is a little pride for ya}
When I looked up, setting my heart and mind on God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I simply said “what lies am I believing” and all the sudden the list started to run through my head as I quickly wrote them down.
-fear that God is not good
-unbelief in His power
-unbelief that He can accomplish mighty things through me or would even want too for that matter
-this notion God gave me was to hard and really impossible, a waste of time
-thoughts of my calling being silly and absurd (I even told someone that it was absurd in an email today- interesting how our thoughts lead to actions)
I didn’t think I was believing any lies, but when I simply asked God, He revealed I was believing a bunch and they ALL had to do with what I sensed Him tell me just a few days earlier, the purpose He has for me.
The devil, he is liar! John 8:44 says “He was a murderer from the beginning and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies he speaks out of his own character for his is a liar and the father of lies”
I wrote this a few weeks ago, but I am on the other side of those lies now and I see clearly how God is the One writing this new vision on my heart and as I pray for confirmation, He continues to give it.
He is a GOOD God, the devil is a LIAR.
Ask God today, "what lies am I believing!" Rebuke them and MOVE ON!
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