Originally published Saturday, 20 October 2012.
Welcome to Day 6 of Stress Points to Life Points!
Day 6 Stress Point Family: Redefining Normal
As I’ve navigated through my own twenties I’ve grown in real appreciation of my family. Too many life changes happen in this decade and the realization that my parents really were “right” hits me all too often. Life’s twists and turns remind me of a firm constant in my life: my family.
Your family might not be the typical nuclear family. You might consider your family to be whoever is your constant and this is ok.
Definition of a normal family: There is no normal!
God blesses us with people in are life that stick by us and love us no matter what. But that doesn’t mean that not-so-normal family will be with out drama. I always say, if we were a normal family, we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves. Ha! The sooner we embrace our family quirks and drama, the sooner we will come to appreciate them. The sooner we put aside our difference and cling to our family as a group of imperfect people, the sooner we can love them with a more godly love. Forgiveness comes into play here when drama threatens to weaken the familial bond. And in the midst of fights and struggle with in the entity that we so desire to cling to and love we can remember that God gives us the ultimate example of love. He is our ultimate constant.
Truth Point: Jesus the Anointed One is always the same: yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8 THE VOICE)
From My Book Stress Point: Thriving Through Your Twenties In A Decade Of Drama
Living out the Kingship of Christ in the area of family and friend relationships isn’t something that happens overnight. We won’t wake up tomorrow to a life where every friendship is beautiful and every family member treats us kindly just because we made the decision to give this stress point over to our King. Our friends and family might not understand our journey toward placing Jesus, our Eternal King, at the center of our lives. I’ve even seen relationships break down because one friend is jealous that the other places Jesus on His throne. These types of friends or family expect us to place them as our priority, and that stands directly against what the Bible teaches us.
He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. (Matthew 10:37–38)
This passage isn’t an easy one to swallow, but it points to the hard truth about placing Jesus as our priority. By taking up our cross we are putting aside everything that used to be of utmost importance in our life, including our friends and family, and following our Eternal King. It hurts to think that best friends or siblings or parents can’t be at the top of our list, but there is great benefit and blessing if we love Jesus more than our earthly friends and family. When we let Jesus have our full attention and our whole heart, He teaches us how to love our friends and family in a way that is outside of our own capabilities.
When our sister or brother annoys us to no end . . . Jesus gives us the patience to refrain slamming the door in frustration.
When our parents don’t understand our life choices and refuse to support our dreams . . . Jesus gives us the strength to continue to respect them while prayerfully pursuing that life choice.
When our girlfriend forgets our birthday . . . Jesus teaches us to forgive and move on.
When an acquaintance gossips about our latest life drama . . . Jesus reminds us not to return the favor with more backstabbing. {Stress Point page 144-145}
Life Point: Is there some unresolved junk between you and a family member or a friend? Did something happen that caused some division and maybe some fights and loud voices? I encourage you to take out a pen and paper and write a letter to that person. Whether or not you actually send the letter, you might find some emotional resolution in just writing out your feelings. Pray before writing. Ask God to give you a heart of forgiveness and understanding as you write the letter.
If you are not in the middle of present family or friend drama, I encourage you to take out a pen and paper anyway. Write a letter to a loved one just to tell them how much you love and appreciate them. This will bless them and build on a foundation of love and respect that will pay off when the day comes that drama does, in fact, strike your family.
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