Originally published Monday, 20 July 2015.
She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
Proverbs 31:25 (NLT)
“She laughs.”
This has long been one of my favourite bible verses.
She laughs without fear of the future.
Recently, as it seemed that Xylon's cancer had recurred, (please read this post from last Thursday for an update on Xylon's health and #prayforzero), I struggled with this verse as I spoke to God about what the future might look like.
I asked God, "How? How can I laugh without fear at the days ahead?"
How can I laugh in the face of cancer?
How can I be fearless in a world where people are shot because of the colour of their skin?
How can I have courage to [fill in the blank with a plethora of terrifying things]?
My husband and I have been speaking about fear a lot in our house lately: a possible 4th diagnosis of cancer tends to do that.
Xylon told me how he lay awake in bed one night talking to God and how he felt all his fear disappear: his fear of dying, his fear of the cancer coming back, his fear of not being there for me.
And then Xylon said he realized that fear is not from God.
The enemy of our souls is fear.
It reminded me of something I once read about how we become subject to our fears. How the fear we had finds a way to rule our lives.
It shook me when I read it years ago, it shakes me now.
I don't want my future subject to fear.
I want my future to be subject to God.
Which brings me back to walking the dog in the field below our house and asking God, "How? How do I laugh without fear of the future?"
I didn't get an answer that day but I'm working on it. I'm massaging the message into my soul.
I'm praying that when fear creeps in that God will help me fight back with joy.
I'm reminding myself that my master is love, not fear. And that there is no fear in love.
To be honest, I'm not yet laughing without fear but I am learning to look it in the face and say, "Fear, you're not wanted here." (tweet this)
And I think that is a start.
Ponder: Where are you on the journey of living without fear of the future? Please share your stories and tools in the comments.
Prayer: Fear, you are not wanted here. In Jesus name I'm telling you to leave. God, in the place of fear I ask you would flood my soul with love and help me fight fear back with joy. Teach me how to laugh without fear at the days ahead. Amen.
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- This was orginally published on my site in January 2014. To read more devotionals like this go to ilovedevotionals.com
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