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If I'm Bad Will God Still Love Me?

Originally published Wednesday, 27 March 2013.

But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him. Romans 6:8 (MSG)

 
Photo: Creationswap.com | Design: Wendy van Eyck
Cancer teaches you stuff. 
 
It teaches you that you don’t always get what you expect in life.

Cancer teaches you stuff about yourself, about God, about love.
 
It’s taught me love grows like a weed. 
 
Love grows in places where you don’t expect it and in ground that isn’t hospitable. And when you’re think you’re done, you discover there is more.
 
Loving more is often the greatest gift.
 
I realized this on one of the days when cancer had tried to take not only my husbands’ life, but also our joy and hope, and my good mood.
 
To be honest I’m not the best nurse.
 
I’ve shouted at my husband at 2am when he’s throwing up for not letting me sleep and I’ve burst into tears because I have to do “everything” while he just lies in bed.
 
Immediately afterwards I feel bad and realize how ridiculous I am and on each of these occasions my husband hugs me, and whispers to me,
“I love you more”.

He’s not trying to win some competition in which we’re competing to see who can profess the most love for the other.
 
He’s simply saying that despite my temper tantrums and childish moments he loves me…more.
 
He loves me more than he did 3 seconds before. More than in the moments just before I lost my perfect nurse status. More than the day he said, “I do”.
 
Love breathes life into our relationship each time. 
 
I love you more: These four simple words that tell the other that whatever they have done it’s not bad enough to stop loving them. These four syllables remind us that love grows where you don’t expect it, that it can thrive on honeymoons and in cancer wards.
 
It’s taught me how God can say he loves me even when I’m covered in sin.
 
I used to think that God could only love me when I was perfect; or when I consistently did good things. But this last year I’ve learnt that isn’t true.
 
If my husband can love me at my worst how much more can God love us when we’re covered in our sin?
 
God always has more love for us. (<-- Tweet this)
 
And God offers it to us in the times, places and moments when we least deserve it.
 
Let His love come and breathe life into your relationship with him.
 
Has there been a moment in your life when you received love even though you knew you didn’t deserve it?

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