Originally published Tuesday, 27 May 2014.
The older brother got really angry and refused to come inside, so his father came out and pleaded with him to join the celebration. But he argued back, “Listen, all these years I’ve worked hard for you. I’ve never disobeyed one of your orders. But how many times have you even given me a little goat to roast for a party with my friends? Not once! This is not fair! So this son of yours comes, this wasteful delinquent who has spent your hard-earned wealth on loose women, and what do you do? You butcher the fattest calf from our herd!”
The father replied, “My son, you are always with me, and all I have is yours.Luke 15:28-31 (VOICE)
My husband drives straight to the VIP parking. I cringe in the passenger seat waiting to be directed to general parking. Xylon laughs and jokes and finds us parking as close to the entrance as possible.
Xylon walks into the party like he belongs. I stay on the fringe feeling insecure that I don’t fit in – angry with myself for hanging back, for wearing this dress, for accepting the invite in the first place.
In no time at all Xylon is chatting away to people he has just met while I hang back. I hesitate. I wonder why I was invited.
I act like I'm gate crashing even while clutching the invite in my hand. Xylon is my +1.
My husband acts like he is invited to the party even when his name isn’t on the list.
I’m hanging out in the corner feeling inadequate and frustrated with myself. I forget that I received an invite to this party. Someone asked me to come because they wanted me there.
I think about how my husband is like the prodigal son – taking his place at the party. While I am like the son who stayed behind – pretty sure that there is no place for me at the feast.
I wonder why I think I don’t belong and I think about what happens in the story of the prodigal son, how the father leaves the party to the son who stayed behind and pleads with him to come to the party.
It reminds me that God finds me when I feel like I don’t belong.
God seeks me out when I feel overlooked. (tweet this)
When God finds me checking the invitation to see if I’m invited and he reminds me that my name is on his list.
When I feel like an outcast God will remind me that I’m just as wanted as the person who the party is celebrating.
From my spot in the shadows I’m reminded that if God is throwing a party everyone is invited:
The prodigal.
The brother who stayed behind.
The servants.
The neighbours.
The beggars.
Tax collectors.
Prostitutes.
Fishermen.
The rich.
The poor.
No one is left out.
Everyone is invited.
Everyone belongs.
Ponder: When you have felt like you don’t belong? What helps you feel like you are worthy?
Prayer: God, thanks for inviting me to be part of what you are doing. Amen. (tweet this)
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- This was orginally published on my site in April 2014 to read more devotionals like this go to ilovedevotionals.com
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