Believe, Trust and Move On

"Mommy, when I was a baby my eyes were purple, right?"

As I looked down into the big beautiful brown eyes of my then 3-year-old firstborn, Alena, I felt my own eyes begin to fill with tears.

Kaitlyn, our 2nd baby girl, was born with crystal clear gray eyes. By the time she was six months old they had morphed into sun dusk green and had become a normal part of conversation amongst family, friends and even strangers. I have to admit, mixed with her caramel complexion, they were shockingly eye catching. However, the amount of attention they caused was a little overwhelming and awkward for a mom of two equally beautiful girls.

Alena, being the oldest, had unfortunately become privy to hearing and seeing the attention that her sister’s mere physical difference had caused. Already having a heavy heart and intentional awareness of this, I knew exactly what she was looking for when she finally approached me about her eyes.  Her three-year-old heart was digging for something deeper, something that had nothing to do with a color.

What I heard in her voice was the search and longing for what we all desire.

Mommy, am I special?

Am I pretty?

Is it ok that I am different?

Am I enough?

“But the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:30-31

I wish I could have opened her heart and literally placed these words inside of her. I could not.

I wish I could have looked at my baby girl and answered her doubts and fears with one instant swoop.  I could not.

I felt my eyes fill with tears because I could not.

I grabbed her into my arms. I held her close and I began to tell her how special God made her. How she was fearfully and wonderfully made. How much I loved her, and yes, how beautiful her brown eyes were.

Within seconds she ran off and continued to play as if nothing had happened and as if nothing I said even mattered.  She was over it.

I watched in amazement. A few affirming words and it was over. She trusted, she believed and she moved on.

God’s word became truth in her heart when my voice could not.

Whether we are three years old or 35, the need to feel special, loved and valued will surface on a continual basis.  This desire is nothing to fear, but looking to other people and other things to answer this question can be very destructive.

Just like my brown eyed 3-year-old, we are simply seeking affirmation.

Whether on our jobs, in our marriages or with our appearances, we want to know:

Am I special?

Psalms 139:14: I will give thanks to You, For I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. 

Am I pretty?

Genesis 1:27: God Created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Is it ok that I am different?

1 Corinthians 12:4;11:  Now there are varieties of gifts but the same Spirit... But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills.

Am I enough?

Titus 3:5: He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit.

Who have you opened your heart up to and what have you allowed to be planted inside of it?

Let God’s word grab you close and tell you how beautiful you are. How special He made you and how He is more than enough for you.

Believe His word, trust His truth and move on.

I wish I could say that six years later our brown eyed, green eyed dilemma has disappeared. It has not.

Actually, with an added set of twin girls, the awkward conversations have gotten increasingly more awkward. I find myself having to reaffirm my girls in who God created them to be, often. Sometimes it sticks immediately, sometimes it doesn’t.

Regardless of how long it takes, I am committed to teaching them that God’s truth is all that matters.

Allow God's word to plant itself in your heart. No one else can.

Today, believe, trust and move on.