Becoming a Woman After God’s Own Heart

... our inability to measure up to our own ethical values and principles can often break our spirit.

“Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:4 NIV

Walking in circles through the bookshelves in one of the oldest shops in our town, I came upon a book that caught my eye. It wasn't the pretty cover that drew me in, but it was the title that gripped my gaze among the myriad of books clamoring for my attention.

The book delves into the inspiring stories of Godly women in ancient times. And as a Christian woman who aspires to win God’s heart, the book won me over in a heartbeat.

Reading through the pages of the book, one couldn’t help but feel unworthy and inadequate. Such a pervasive feeling of inadequacy can permeate one’s thoughts when pummeled with extraordinary stories of great women of faith.

And so, I can't help but ask: With all our flaws and moral defects, can God truly love us the way He loved these women of formidable faith—like Mary, for example, the woman Jesus commended for her undivided attention, unperturbed by the trivialities around her?

She seems, in almost every way, the exact opposite of today’s generation of women.

Christian Women Can Be Hard on Themselves

As Christian women who conscientiously strive to obey God, we can be particularly hard on ourselves. We frequently hold ourselves to high moral standards. Thus, our inability to measure up to our own ethical values and principles can often break our spirit. Being so hard on ourselves, berating our hearts for our inability to be consistent in living the moral values we advocate for, can truly take a toll on our mental well-being.

But then one would realize that these virtuous women of ancient times weren’t perfect after all. As it’s written: “No one is good but God” (Mark 10:18 NIV). And that includes Mary, the one who sat at Jesus’ feet. We aren’t made privy to all her missteps. Also, let us not forget Mary Magdalene, the woman from whom Jesus cast out seven demons—she ended up faithfully serving the ministry along with other of Jesus’ followers.

These women whom we revere for their exemplary character were also morally flawed just like the rest of us. What made them rise above their moral frailties was their faith in the Messiah. The transformative power of God lifted them from the mire of sins. This doesn’t mean they had reached moral perfection. No, not at all. It’s not that they didn't sin anymore, but they were no longer at the mercy of the enemy’s cunning ploy.

And the Spirit that refined their character, the One who empowered them to evolve into the kind of women God envisioned them to be, is the very same Spirit that dwells in us. Thus, we are more than capable of becoming God’s beloved through the transformative power of the Holy Spirit that’s within us all. For on our own, we can do nothing, but with God, all things are possible.

Christian Women Can Feel Ill-equipped

But then, like most people, I pondered this question: If the Spirit that dwells in them dwells in me, why am I still like this? What else did they have that I don’t have? This came in a moment of utter frustration after I failed miserably in my attempt to manage my emotions during a heated argument.

You see–I can’t always use my genetic predisposition of holding strong opinions as a scapegoat for failing to rein in my temper when provoked.

And it doesn’t help that we’re one of those families who hold political conversations and debates around the dinner table. That's what I grew up in. I sometimes feel that my ability to debate developed before I even learned how to read the alphabet. So, every day, I sought God’s help to adorn me with a quiet and gentle spirit. Because it’s not about being right, it’s about doing what is right.

“Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the Spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41 KJV). I have come across this verse many times before, but for some reason, it took a while before the gist of the message dawned on me. The word “watch” sets off a profound introspection.

What also sets these faithful women of God apart is their vigilance and diligence, something my character used to fall short of. The Spirit always makes Himself available to us whenever temptation rears its ugly head–all we have to do is yield to the Spirit and not fall apart in the face of overwhelming temptations, right? Yes, but it’s more than that.

The key to overcoming temptation also lies in the fact that being diligent, watchful, and cognizant of what’s going on around us is crucial. Triumphing over temptations demands preparation every single day, akin to the dedication required to win a raging war on the battlefield.

No wonder Jesus told us to “watch”—By doing so, we can prepare and not be caught flatfooted when the enemy strikes. It will help us dodge the flaming darts of our adversary, especially in times of searing disputes when discernment is scant, tempers fly, and self-control falters.

So when I see a family member not in a good frame of mind, I opt to steer clear of conflicts, refraining from engaging in any arguments.

If I know that someone would not relent to my requests, I make a conscious effort to avoid disputes by not being adamant about getting what I want, and so on.

“Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:4 NIV

“Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14 NKJV

Christian Women Can Train Themselves in Godliness

Quite simply, we can train ourselves to practice self-awareness and mindfulness—not the ceremonial rituals subscribed by yoga enthusiasts, but the ones Jesus ardently advocated for.

Here are Bible verses about self-awareness and mindfulness that will help us triumph over temptations:

On Mindfulness

“Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the Spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:41 KJV

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 NIV

“Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.” Philippians 4:5 NLT

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7 NIV

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 NKJV

On Self Awareness

“Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you?--unless indeed you are disqualified?” 2 Corinthians 13:5 NKJV

“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:3 NKJV