Have you ever been there; standing at the busy four-way intersection of your life trying to navigate your children and your calling? You know without a doubt that He called you. In fact, you remember the day you raised your hand like an eager student in Ms. Taylor’s 2rd grade class saying, “Ooooo, pick me!”
“And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ Then I said, ‘Here I am! Send me.’ And he said, ‘Go, and say to this people…” (Isaiah 6:8-9 ESV)
Then children came and with it the hard stops. No more easily merging into the next assignment, now visions and dreams are halted, giving way to red eye nursing sessions. Motherhood is indeed one of the highest callings a woman can answer to. “Surely one day her children shall arise and call her blessed” (Proverbs 31:28). But what if the calling extends beyond the home?
I’ve been there mama. There was no doubt that I had been called to encourage women through the written and spoken Word. God wired me to communicate with words. My vocational training equipped me to deliver words in a way that connected with the hearer. And my spiritual gifts enabled my words to reach the hearts and spirits of the listener, filling them with hope and compelling them to change.
But where did all that go?
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Called to One or the Other?
Amid mothering three children ages four and under, the call seemed to have gone MIA. Dried up were the opportunities to operate in the call, replaced instead with story time, preschool science experiments and making batches of baby food.
Don’t misunderstand me, I loved being a mama. But I loved encouraging women too. And that part of me that God built for ministry felt like she was dying.
Oh the internal struggle as I wrestled with the guilt of still wanting to pursue something outside of mommy life. Many of the Christian blogs and periodicals I read told me to be content at home with your babies and with serving your husband. Then in my other ear the world said “You’re every woman, it’s all in you. You can do everything you want to do.”
So what do you do when the high beams of daily meeting the spiritual, academic, social and emotional needs of your flock threaten to blind your view of the call? How does a mama reconcile the two?
Cry out to God. That’s what I did. As I sat in the middle of the floor, hot tears streamed down my cheeks and dropped unto old awards and commendations from my previous employer, I beseeched Him asking, “What do you say Lord? Can I be Mama AND still walk out your call on my life?”
Let me share with you what He answered me that day and what He continues to unpack for me even now.
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God Calls
God is the one who called us in the first place. He began by calling us into relationship with Him. Then He calls us to be like Him through the processes of consecration and sanctification. Finally, He calls us to “Go ye.” So don’t despair, mama. The gift and the call are irrevocable (Romans 11:29).
God endowed you with your unique set of skills, abilities, talents, vocational training and spiritual gifts so that you would use all of them for the upbuilding of His kingdom. And as such, He’s not going to let that good deposit in you go to waste. He entrusted you to steward and to guard it (2 Timothy 1:14) and He will surely give you ample opportunity to put it all to good use.
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A Time and a Season
I can vividly recall the intense sting of a conversation I had with a fellow mama. “I’m not like y’all {other mothers here just raising their children}. I have skills, and things I’m good at and I’m not gonna let them go to waste.” Say what? Oh, those words pierced me like a serrated knife. Wait a minute. I have dreams. I have talents. I have abilities too. But I also have priorities. And ultimately, I understand and embrace the times and seasons.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
When a part of you is unfulfilled, discontentment can settle in. And if you’re not careful, discontentment can lead to frustration and frustration to resentment. Even the Word cautions us that hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12). So be reminded that a delay isn’t necessarily a denial. Find contentment in your current season (Philippians 4:12) and remember everything happens in its appointed time.
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Expect the Unexpected
Author, international speaker and mom extraordinaire, Sally Clarkson began her call in international missions then trained women executives and singles. I can only imagine the conversations she had with God about her calling as the children came. While the audience Clarkson ministered to changed, God still provided her with opportunities to flow in her gifts. So, expect God to do the unexpected. You may have been used to using your skills in one way, and in light of motherhood, He may apply them in a different way.
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Grace upon Grace
At the intersection of calling and children God can and will make all grace abound toward you. “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work,” (2 Corinthians 9:8). He is intimately aware of your role as a mom and your position as kingdom builder. As such, He will duly equip you with grace upon grace to carry out the assignments He’s tasked to your hands. The key will be to stay focused, using your time, energy and efforts in a concerted fashion to navigate the intricacies of the many demands. Will it be easy? No. Is it doable? Yes.
We’ve seen God do it. Just as He’s graced Sally Clarkson who was mentioned earlier, I’ve seen calling and children coexist in the lives of Priscilla Shirer, Lysa TerKeurst, many others, and even me. Today, I’ve got six children, am an author, the director of a mom’s group at my local church, and a health coach. God’s divine enablement is equipping me to carry children and my calling with grace. And I’m sure you can name a few women you know who are obediently walking out motherhood and their calling.
You, dear mama, were called to create. You were created in the image of the Master Creator and as such He will afford you the opportunity to create too. From creating life to creating proposals, you’ve been uniquely gifted. Since the dawn of humanity, He’s placed in woman the desire to work, to produce and to create, and becoming a mother does not take that desire away. It is then a matter of surrendering our will for His and allowing Him to drive. So ease along, moving through the roundabout where the roads of life converge.
In a roundabout or rotary, the traffic doesn't come to a hard stop, but slows enough for vehicles to safely move in and through. The same can be said for our lives. When children and calling intersect, they may slow through the roundabout but then life flows, merging together, children and calling both moving forward for the kingdom.
Tyra Lane-Kingsland is a speaker, Women’s Ministry Director and author of the book Purposeful Parenting. She enjoys facilitating the classes she’s developed on parenting and Health & Wellness. It is her assertion that health is wealth and believes that optimal health is achieved through proper nourishment, rest and exercise. Tyra is an attentive wife and mother of six. Knowing that God causes all things to work together for good, she is on a passionate pursuit to see women inspired to live fully!
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Originally published Friday, 21 February 2020.
