... nothing can draw us in close communion with God as much as suffering does.
“You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1 NKJV
When I went through searing hardships and deep emotional anguish, being in God’s presence was the only way to survive my days. I prayed day and night and pleaded with God for a much-needed respite from debilitating grief and emptiness that haunted me— which felt more like a sharp dagger pierced deep into my heart.
My time with God is no longer relegated to the morning and evening prayers— communing with Him throughout the day becomes a matter of survival. Evidently, it’s when we navigate the desert seasons of life, when the shadow of grief dims that spark within us, that we are spurred to draw ever closer to the Source of all life.
When we were younger, we didn't seek God in the same way we do as adults. Life’s crushing trials have not scarred our young and guileless hearts to warrant such a profound longing for the Almighty. It's not that we never loved Him when we were young—we did love Him, but the love we had for Him back then lacked the depths and seasoned maturity it now has.
Just like you, I have read articles about building intimacy with God. And while it is true that every piece of advice rendered on the subject has merit, nothing can draw us in close communion with God as much as suffering does.
“If only you had paid attention to My commands, your peace would have been like a river, your well-being like the waves of the sea.” Isaiah 48:18 NIV
David’s Suffering Brought Him Closer to God
When David, the beloved servant of God, was experiencing tribulations as a consequence of his sins, he let out this heartfelt cry to God as he sought solace from his agonizing miseries that tormented him:
“Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;
Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy." Psalm 130:1-2 NIV
Somehow, David’s deep love and affection for the Lord was enriched by the setbacks he hurdled. So, do not be disheartened when you are chastised by the Lord or when you’re beset by trials, knowing that even suffering has its worth in the life of every believer—whether it’s self-inflicted or not.
“I will return again to My place Till they acknowledge their offense. Then they will seek My face; In their affliction they will earnestly seek Me.” Hosea 5:15 NKJV
God's dream for you and me is to live a Spirit-led and joy-filled life. But due to the fall, suffering became our scourge. We may think that God must be ruthless to have allowed suffering to wreak havoc in our lives–but then a flash of insight comes to mind: not only did God pour out His life unto death that we may have life, but He also made a way for our suffering not to go to waste by using it as a pathway to His heart.
More often than not, our shattered dreams are a pathway to God’s unfathomable love and abiding presence. It is when we find ourselves ensnared in the depths of grief and desolation that we begin to seek His face. Thus, it’s when God stands as our sole beacon of hope that our intimacy, love, and affection for Him can truly run deep.
In the beginning, I felt abandoned as He was painfully quiet for months on end despite my pleas for reprieve. But looking back, I realized He had always been there. The footprints visible on the sand were not mine but His. He truly carries us when life’s adversities become utterly unbearable. I don’t think I would have survived had it not been for His enduring grace and mercy.
Nonetheless, once the pangs of grief subsided a little, I found myself drifting away from the usual prayer routine I adopted when still in the depths of inconsolable anguish. I started working extremely hard, breaking only from work a few minutes to chow down my lunch.
Offering hurried prayers became the norm. As a consequence, I couldn’t feel God’s presence because my prayers were rushed, and not as heartfelt as they used to be. Then it hit me: the sudden jolt of emptiness that washes over a believer when bereft of emotional connection to God.
I missed God, but work continued to get in the way–my job became a form of escape.
Then one day, I started to suffer from sudden drops in blood pressure. It went on for weeks, forcing me to develop this habit of lying down and relaxing my mind in between breaks throughout the day.
During one of those breaks, I suddenly thought of rearranging the furniture in my living room by moving my lounge chair against the wall— opposite the large transparent glass window. In doing so, I get to have an unobstructed view of the tall foliage trees, the tiny birds happily hopping along tree trunks, and the blue sky outdoors. As I lay down on that couch, the picturesque scenery stoked within me that longing to commune with God more often. In essence, I ended up having meaningful conversations with Him in this space every single day. As such, my intimacy with Him has grown immensely once again. And I cannot be more grateful.
What Does Communing with God Look Like?
Communing with Him does not mean saying prayers the whole time. Often, I would stay there in silence, staring at the stunning view—just being in His presence. Occasionally, I would receive a flash of insights, some nuggets of wisdom He wanted me to meditate on. At times, I would consult Him about a problem that was bothering me or just tell Him how a certain person made me feel. It’s just like talking to a cherished friend who is more than happy to lend an ear.
In a nutshell, my small living room became a breathing space where I could hear God speak in my quiet moments of worship, share my deepest thoughts, or just have a light conversation with Him. It is in these quiet moments with the Father that our intimacy with Him grows and flourish.
In light of this, I remember what the late Pastor Stanley once said about the importance of creating a space in our home for God, however small that space is. It becomes a sacred sanctuary where we routinely agree to meet with the Lord.
No wonder that during biblical times God’s servants would often put a stone or a mark on a place where they encountered God.
In Matthew 6:6, Jesus says, “But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place.”
Nonetheless, I understand that having quality time with God throughout the day can be pretty challenging for busy moms. In such circumstances, you may want to speak with Him in the silence of your heart, even while preparing dinner or doing the laundry.
The Spirit of the Lord is within every believer—thus, we become the temple of God’s Spirit. As such, we can call on Him and feel His presence wherever we are. Nevertheless, if you can carve a time and space in your home to spend some quiet time with God, so much the better. If we can do so for families and friends, can we not do the same for God?
I once read somewhere how a busy mom with little kids had to get inside a closet just to have some quiet moments with God.
As the saying goes: If there’s a will, there’s a way!
How Can I Experience True Intimacy with God?
Though suffering is the strongest catalyst that will spur many to draw closer to God, there are also other ways in which we can build strong emotional connections with Him.
Essentially, our intimacy with God can flourish if we remain committed to spending more time with Him. Meditating on God’s Word and pursuing His heart each day can go a long way to foster a deep and enduring bond with the Almighty.
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.” Psalm 42:1 NIV
Building Intimacy with God Is a Pathway to Spiritual Maturity
Fostering a strong bond with the Almighty is crucial in enabling us to pursue a life of holiness.
Just like a thriving tree that’s planted by streams of water, our soul is nourished by the life-giving Spirit of God. Let us always be reminded that the closer we are to the source of life, the more prompted we are to yield to the desires of the Spirit and not of the flesh.
The distance between us and the Father is the void the enemy will attempt to fill, dragging us away from God’s protective light. Thus, let us leave no stone unturned in ensuring that every step we make takes us ever closer to the heart of God, leaving no crack for the wicked one to breach and exploit.
“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1 NKJV
Bible Verses About Intimacy with God
As you navigate the difficult seasons of life, know that you are not alone. Here are Bible verses to meditate on as you strive to deepen your relationship with our heavenly Father:
“But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6 NKJV
“My Sheep Hear My Voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” John 10:27 KJV
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8 NKJV
“Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” Colossians 3:5 NKJV
“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13 KJV
“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” Psalm 119:105 KJV
“Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and [a]mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3 NKJV
Lastly, it is crucial to understand that to grow in intimacy with God, pursuing His heart in whatever circumstances you may find yourself in is key. In good times and bad times, seek God’s face and your peace will be like a free-flowing river.
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 NIV
Thus, as we go through life’s immense hardships, it is the peace of God and our deep intimacy with Him that will sustain us—until that fateful day when we’ll finally see the light bursting through the shadows of our life’s darkest valleys.
“Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10 NIV
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