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Am I Really a Christian?

Jennifer Maggio

The Life of a Single Mom
Updated Mar 19, 2024
Am I Really a Christian?

If a Savior hanging on a cross can redeem this broken, overwhelmed, stressed-out, severely abused, abandoned wretch like me, and give joy, hope, laughter, peace, fearlessness, and strength where ashes once lay, He can certainly do the same for you!  

I began serving women in my living room almost two decades ago. I started a small Bible study and three single moms attended that very first meeting. Over time, that group grew and grew and grew. Three women turned into ten women, then twenty-five, then seventy-five. It was exciting to see more and more women coming into the Bible study. 

About two years into the ministry, I got a phone call at 11 o’clock one night from a sweet mom who had regularly been attending our meetings. We talked about a number of life issues, and she asked many questions. I could tell she was upset and needed a listening ear. Through tears, she asked something that caught me off guard. “Can you tell me how to accept Jesus?” While it was super exciting that I had the opportunity to share with her the answer to that very question, it wasn’t long before I realized that that young mom had been in our ministry for many months and was not clear on the answer to that question already! She didn’t know how to fully surrender her life to Christ. 

I realized in that moment that I needed to make doubly sure that I was regularly presenting the plan of salvation in a way that was clear for my Bible study attendees, and for those who later came through the audience the Lord gave me. I cannot assume that someone coming to a Friday night single moms’ Bible study or attending a conference or reading a book I wrote is saved. Frankly, I cannot assume the person sitting on the pew next to me or across the Thanksgiving table from me is either!

I was sharing recently with a friend that I do not remember being alive and not knowing the gospel. As the daughter of a former Baptist deacon, I cannot remember a time when I was not in a Sunday school class memorizing memory verses, attending church three times a week, and hearing the Good News at a Vacation Bible School during the summer or some such similar event. I was raised knowing the truth and surrendered my heart to the Lord at nine years old. I think that in my naivete in early ministry, I just assumed everyone who was attending a Bible study I led had heard the gospel and believed. I assumed that everyone I knew was starting at a basic level of faith in the Lord Jesus. Boy, was I completely wrong! I had totally missed part of my assignment. I was to evangelize the gospel, not assume folks already knew!

As I ponder the number of times I have recently heard the questions "Am I really a Christian?" or "How do I know that I am truly saved?" I realize these questions bear witness to what I see all around me – a culture hungry for truth and meaningful change. People are desperate for answers. They’ve put their hope into much that has left them weak, disappointed, and yearning for something more. They put their hope in a bottle, person, bank account, relationship status, government, church, or some false religion and are now left empty and dry. They seek water from a well that won’t run dry and don’t even know where to find it. Why? Well, it’s likely because they were never told, or more importantly, they were never shown. 

To tell you that my understanding of Christianity, as a small nine-year-old girl walking down a church aisle, has now evolved into a much deeper revelation would be an understatement. But I don’t mean the type of understanding that can recite endless Scriptures and highlight for you how wrong you are. I mean, the type of understanding that sets prisoners free and loosens the bound. I mean the type of understanding that restores the torn up, broken down, and beat up. Here’s what I know. If a Savior hanging on a cross can redeem this broken, overwhelmed, stressed-out, severely abused, abandoned wretch like me, and give joy, hope, laughter, peace, fearlessness, and strength where ashes once lay, He can certainly do the same for you!  

Let me start with what salvation is not:

It is not church attendance.

It is not being baptized.

It is not having a pastor lay hands on you.

It is not having praying parents or grandparents.

It is not reciting a prayer aloud on a Sunday morning.

In fact, it is not even reading the Bible.

All those things are good and certainly can stretch and grow you, as you pursue the Lord, but none of them will save you, in and of itself. I want to give you a basic understanding of salvation. And I want to encourage those who already identify as Christians to read on, as well, because I have a few things to say beyond the basic presentation of the Gospel.

1. You Must First Recognize That You Are a Sinner 

Romans 3:23 says, “All have fallen short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:10 tells us that “No one is righteous, no not one.” We are sinners, falling short of the holy standard of the living God, and there’s not a thing we can do to save ourselves. We cannot work really hard to be a good person. We cannot chase our own truth. We cannot seek truth in our inner selves or the stars. We need a Savior.

2. Sin Requires Death 

Romans 6:23 tells us that the wages of the sin spoken about in Romans 3:23 is death – eternal separation from God in Hell. In other words, a holy, sinless, righteous God cannot be simply approached. There is a sacrifice required. There is purity and holiness required. There is a standard that you, nor I, alone could measure up to. Your mother cannot pray you out of Hell. Your Holy Ghost-filled grandmother cannot want salvation enough for you. The pastor at the local church, as good as he may preach, cannot preach you into Heaven. You choose.

3. Jesus Christ Is the Only Way

John 3:16 says that the Creator of heaven and Earth loved you and me so much that He sent the only son He had to pay the price for our sin. If we believe in Him, we will not perish in hell but spend eternity in heaven with the Father. John 14:6 makes it clear that there is no other way to the Father but through Jesus Christ. Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, the life. No one comes to the Father, but through me.” He didn’t say, “I am one way,” or “I am a good option,” or “Everyone will eventually find their truth.” He said, “I am the truth.” This is important to understand. In order to be saved, you cannot believe that there are many different ways to God. Jesus was clear that there was one way to His Father and that was through he and he alone. It’s also important to note that part of that belief is also recognizing Jesus lived a spotless life, died on a cross for our sins (not His own), and rose victorious three days later, now sitting at the right hand of the Father. (See 2 Corinthians 5:21, Romans 8:1, and Luke 24:6-7).

4. You Must Repent

Matthew 3:2 says, “Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand.” Repent does not mean to be sorry. It does not mean I don’t want to walk out this pain that my sin has caused. It does not mean tears. It means “to turn”. True repentance is turning. I found that in my own life, I didn’t have much of a problem believing I was a sinner in need of a Savior or that Jesus was the only way to the Lord. I had a much bigger problem turning from my sin. 

You see, I wanted to keep my sin and get my salvation. Many of us spend much time rationalizing that our sin “is not that big of a deal.” But it’s a big deal. In fact, our sin is binding us so tight we can barely breathe. And while we suffocate, we scream how much of a little deal it is! It isn’t true. We’re drowning in its consequences and my prayer is that your desperation for a lifeline compels you to reach for your Savior. 

The plan above is what I was always taught (and still believe) to be the basic tenets of the Gospel. While I could write several thousand more words on the subject, this gives a basic understanding for the non-believer. However, as I grew in my walk with the Lord, learning more of His word, committing to a local church, and sitting in the presence of the Holy Spirit, I began to learn some things that really separate “the boys from the men” as my dad used to say. In other words, there are some things that really need to be discussed regarding true Christianity and salvation. 

We live in a time when emphasis on God is love and God is merciful seems to far outweigh emphasis on God is Holy and God is righteous. We are comfortable overlooking some things in Scripture that need to be analyzed in order to make ourselves and others around us comfortable. To be clear, God is absolutely love. He is the epitome of love. He is absolutely mercy and grace. He is kind and gentle, according to Scripture. But make no mistake, He is equally holy and righteous. And in my humble opinion, we’ve perceived that the grace of God should relinquish us of our obligation to have a healthy fear of the Lord. God is not to be played with. He cannot be fooled or manipulated. 

If you do the above four things in the list, how do you know – really know – that you are saved? Well, let me ask you a few questions:

1. Do you follow the commandments of Scripture? (John 14:15)

2. Does your life yield the fruit of the Holy Spirit? (Matthew 7:16)

3. Does your desire to please the Lord compel you to work for His kingdom? (James 2:14-26)

4. Do you work out your salvation with fear and trembling? (Philippians 2:12)

Let’s Take a Look at Scripture

Jesus said in John 14:15, “If you love Me, keep My commandments.” In Luke 6:46-49, He also says, “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say? Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.” He then goes on to say in Matthew 7:21-23, “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

Friends, this should shake us. Do we keep Jesus’ commandments? Do we do what He says? Do we live a life that yields much fruit? Do we exhibit the kindness, gentleness, patience, goodness, love, joy, peace, faithfulness, and self-control described in Galatians 5:23? Do we work for the Lord, because of how much we love Him? Do we serve others, dying to self, willing to sacrifice for others? To be clear, we do not work for our salvation, but we certainly work from it. 

Our natural desire is to be selfish, self-absorbed, self-focused, and self-serving, but when we are transformed through Christ, we look for ways to serve others, selflessly, as Christ first loved and served us. Jesus taught that we must deny our flesh and pick up our cross. Are we daily willing to surrender to His will in our lives, His commands? Are we willing to serve others or look for ways to serve ourselves? Do we show the fruit of the character of Christ? Have we learned to take our thoughts captive? Are we living free lives, not bound by sin or demons or desires of our flesh? 

Romans 10:9-10 says, “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.” Do you know what I fear? I fear we have a church full of false salvations with people who think they are saved, but never actually encountered the Lord Jesus. I fear that they think that because they confessed with their mouth through a prayer one time at a church service that they are saved. But Romans 10 says we must also believe in our heart. And that belief in our hearts compels repentance, full surrender, and acknowledgement of the weight of our sin, and life transformation. 

I fear that many have not “counted the costs” that it will actually require to serve the Lord fully. We like our sin way too much. We like its counterfeit comfort. We analyze the benefits of potential peace and joy that Jesus brings, but we do not count the costs of a life surrendered fully in obedience. True salvation, true Christianity, requires all of the above. Salvation, in short, is a heart posture. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a surrendered life that yields evidence. 

All I can say to you is this. I once huddled on a bathroom floor suicidal as a young single mom who was crushed by the weight of my sin and the immense hardships I had suffered. Years of poverty and abuse and the death of my parents and single parenting and shame had taken their toll. I wanted to die. I was riddled with fear, anxiety, worry, control, perfectionism, insecurity, anger, and bitterness. I went to church every Sunday, was baptized at 9 years old, and recited ‘the sinner’s prayer’ in a church service likely a hundred times, but what really changed me was the recognition of the true weight of my sin and the bleeding of my heart wounds that I was desperate to have healed. And my desperation bred visitation from the one true King. My surrender, crying and limping to a Savior who offered hope, changed everything. Today, I truly live set free. I pray the same for you. 

And if you get me really, really excited and fired up...I could spend some time talking about the Holy Ghost power that dwells in a believer – the same power that raised Christ from the dead – that offers healing, restoration, gifts, and complete freedom! But let’s save that convo for another day! 

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others.