“Do whatever makes you happy,” “Be true to yourself," and “You do you, boo” are all phrases I’m sure you’ve heard, especially in the last five or so years. In the post-pandemic world, society has isolated itself to the point that any relationship a person has is with their smartphone or laptop. Many people work remotely, missing out on day-to-day interactions. Outside of work, many just sit on their phones on social and watch other people live their lives, not cultivating true in-person relationships. This societal shift has led to people living for themselves and not being part of relationships that take hard work.
During the pandemic, some started YouTube or Instagram channels for social interaction. Their desire was to create a space where people could feel like they were physically together by interacting with one another on social platforms. During that time, it was an outlet that made people feel less isolated. Others discovered new hobbies or learned more about themselves where their whole identities seemed to shift to a more independent one as they discovered what they really wanted out of life.
None of these things are necessarily bad. However, when the lockdown ended along with all the rules of social distancing, many had gotten very comfortable with isolation and living for themselves. There were even some who became quite popular on social enjoying the attention and monetary return they received as a result. Considering all of these shifts, suddenly those catchphrases mentioned above seem to have a more self-centered connotation than they already did.
Sadly, believers are not immune to this. Many modern churches are looking more and more like the world where the actions of Christians are not much different than unbelievers. They will say that they are being their authentic selves and this is just who they are. Some churches will hold believers accountable for these self-seeking, worldly behaviors, but the person’s response will be one of justification, saying “But I show the love of Jesus to others” or “I read my Bible every day.” And yes, we are absolutely called to do those things, and they are important for the Kingdom of God, but if an unbeliever sees us dressing provocatively or living without purity or swearing like a sailor or promoting materialism or changing our bodies with all manner of injections or plastic surgery, what does that do to our witness? It is showing unbelievers that we are not satisfied in Christ alone. Instead, we are looking to these external things to bring us gratification.
In full transparency, I am not innocent here either. I can fall into the trap of scrolling social media, and although I try to curate my feed with edifying content from other believers, I have found that some of the Christian content creators are sliding down the slippery slope of claiming authenticity while lacking accountability. For example, their content started as “devotionals from a pastor’s wife” and transformed into a feed that idolizes fashion, pushes Botox, and claims fulfillment is found in designer shoes and bags, etc. Do you see the contradiction, or dare I say hypocrisy? And when content creators like this are called out by other believers, they deem them judgmental and legalistic. Then the justification comes, “This is who I am” or “But I show the love of Jesus to others."
This brings us back to the tension between living authentically versus lacking accountability. The definition of authentic is “of undisputed origin.” As believers, our undisputed origin is “a child of God.”
Let’s look at three introspective questions we should consider when discerning whether we are living authentically or lacking accountability:
Believe me, I know what legalism looks like. I’ve personally seen it with all its rules and judgments. So I don’t want to be misunderstood. Instead, I hope to offer gentle encouragement that we are called to a higher standard by God.
2 Timothy 2:20-22 says, “Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” Jesus' blood has cleansed us from all unrighteousness. Our appearance and behaviors should be authentically holy.
We should not look like the world, but when people see us or interact with us, they should sense something different about us. Our actions should testify to the love of Jesus, but it is also just as important to showcase a life of purity and honor, a life set apart and holy. If we are using the Lord’s name in vain or participating in all manner of worldly things, we are preaching a different gospel when we are purporting to show the love of Jesus. We are showing a gospel filled with compromise.
Our pastor shared that studies are showing that atheists and muslims are leaving their ideologies and embracing Christianity because it’s “so easy,” but this wasn’t because they were embracing a doctrine of grace and not of works; it's more because they can self-admittedly show up for church and check something off their list. Studies are also showing that as churches become more like the world and more of the world enters the church, the Christian influence in the world fades away, which leads to all manner of chaos. Indeed, you may not think that the actions of one person matter in the Kingdom of God, but they do.
When we live as one chosen and set apart by God, accountable to Him and His Word, we retain every aspect of ourselves but still honor God as preeminent in our lives.
Even if we know that what is in our hearts is pure when we are doing something, we need to ask ourselves, as a Christ follower, how does this appear to someone else? Years ago, I used to listen to the Bible Answer Man hosted by Hank Hanegraaff. I remember he told a story that he had gone to a restaurant with a friend and ordered a bottle of beer. He only had one bottle, but as he sat drinking it, he thought to himself, “What if someone recognizes me from the radio broadcast and sees me drinking a beer, how will that look? They don’t know that I’ve only had one and this is the only one I will be drinking.” This is an example of how an innocent action could be misinterpreted by an onlooker who knows you to be a Christian. Does this mean you should never have one drink at a restaurant? No, not at all, but it’s definitely a great example of how to think before you act and remain accountable to your authentic position as a child of God, your authentic position in ministry, and who you are as a person.
Even though our authenticity has its origin in God the Father, He made us unique with different personalities and gifts. Just like the apostles wrote the gospels and the epistles where their personalities shined through, it was God who, indeed, wrote through them. Both facets of authenticity can be true in a believer’s life. But we have to be responsible to make our authenticity accountable to God and His Word.
People who know who we are probably won’t misinterpret our actions, but there are always others who don’t know us who are watching, and that’s where we must keep ourselves accountable.
This question right here is probably the most pivotal, “Am I being honest with myself?” We are creatures of justifying our actions, more so to ourselves than others. The Bible showcases several stories of key figures justifying why they couldn’t do something for the Lord even when He told them that He would supply what they needed. There are also stories where people justified their actions as a means to “help God” along with “His” plan, which ended in heartache.
Before speaking or acting, recall these verses:
Proverbs 13:3: "If we can control our tongues, it will enhance our lives. But if we speak before we think, we can ruin everything."
Proverbs 13:16: "Wise people think before they act; fools don't — and even brag about their foolishness."
Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
Before saying something, acting out in a specific way, or posting on social media, think about your motives, think about your witness, think about whether you are behaving in a manner that is holy and separate, think about whether your words or actions could be misinterpreted, and then be brutally honest with yourself. Am I just being true to myself to make me happy, or am I exemplifying authentic Christian values?
When you take a moment to check yourself, you are being accountable to God’s Word and your calling as a believer. Through this exercise, you can determine whether you are being authentic in every sense of the word through your unique personality and as a child of God.
Ephesians 4:22-24 is a good reminder to help keep yourself in check: “to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”
May you embrace your authenticity in the person God created you to be, and may you continually remain accountable to the Lord by living a holy and set-apart life, making sure your actions can’t be misinterpreted by being honest with yourself and God.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Sarah Mason
Karen Del Tatto is a blogger, author, women's ministry leader, pastor's wife, mom, and grandmother who is passionate about the Word of God. Her blog Growing Together in Grace and Knowledge and her books Choosing to Trust God: Breaking the Habit of Worry, A 30-Day Devotional and Choosing to Trust God Companion Journal reveal her heart for providing Biblical insights to encourage women to grow in and through their struggles while equipping them to overcome. Karen and her husband live in Rhode Island and enjoy walks in the woods, owling, and spending time with their grandchildren.