Elle didn’t see mutual love modeled because she was a baby when her parents divorced. There was no one to show her the bond where two individuals envision a hopeful future, lovingly united in supporting each other in decisions and focused on meeting each other’s needs. Elle’s parents eventually found new partners and remarried. But secretly, she always wished her parents to be reconciled as husband and wife. She didn’t know how, but that didn’t stop her from hoping.
Then there was another family, a divorced one. The children, all adults, always had to choose between their mother and father to keep the peace, no matter the occasion. They love their parents, but it was such a huge burden to them that their hope was to simply have forgiveness and healing between their parents, not even a restored marriage.
So many things have been written and said about love, be it a book, song, poem, film, art, or whatever medium is available. Some say that love can sweep you off your feet or feel like being hit like a truck. Others may experience the flutter of butterflies in the stomach while some may feel the calmness of a soul connection. We understand much about it when it comes to positive feelings towards someone when we want to develop a deeper attachment to a person.
Jacob arrived in Paddan Aram. He came by a well and spoke to the shepherds, asking about Laban, his relative. Rachel, Laban’s daughter, a shepherdess, was coming to water the flock so Jacob “went over and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered his uncle’s sheep. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud. He had told Rachel that he was a relative of her father and a son of Rebekah. So she ran and told her father” (Genesis 29:10-12 NIV). Laban welcomed Jacob to his home.
After a month’s stay, Laban asked Jacob, “’Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.’ Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, ‘I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel…’ So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her” (vv.15-18, 20).
Here’s Jacob who was sent by his parents to Paddan Aram to seek a wife among relatives. Rachel happened to be an attractive, single woman for Jacob to fall in love with. Jacob’s proposal to serve Laban for seven years for Rachel’s hand may seem like a long time, but he came without any material wealth to offer. He didn’t mind the seven years because love gave him hope!
After seven years, Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to [Rachel]” (v.21). A feast was given by Laban, but it was Leah who was given to Jacob in the evening. When morning came, Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?” (v.25). Laban explained that it was not their custom to marry off the younger daughter first. So, Jacob served another seven years of work for Rachel’s hand in marriage.
Jacob was betrayed by Laban, but he didn’t betray Rachel. She wasn’t just an infatuation, someone easily replaceable. No, he didn’t give up pursuing her. There was nothing he wouldn’t have done to have her, the love of his life. He kept his promise of marrying her by working a total of fourteen years. Love always hopes!
We all know the importance of love and how it brings beauty and joy to life. But in a world that knows and understands a lot about romantic love, we tend to operate more in the realm of attraction and compatibility, with our little checklists for relationships pointing toward our own interests and desires. So, when something doesn’t add up anymore—physical beauty starts to fade, traits that were cute and quirky are now annoying—we start distancing ourselves. The love we abundantly expressed in the beginning is now passing away and becoming stale and meaningless.
The Apostle Paul reminded the Corinthian believers that the love being taught to them—and to us today—originates from the source of love itself, God. “God is love,” John said. But John also posed the challenge, “Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them” (1 John 4:16). Worldly, romantic love cannot be the kind of love that should govern a believer, knowing that God has shown us how He loved us through His Son Jesus.
We are all created in the image of God, so we have His imprint on us. We all have someone to love at one time or another, but not all of us will claim to love God. We know a lot about love because “[God] first loved us” (v.19). But again, God’s love is not a self-serving love but a sacrificial one, “that he gave his one and only Son” (John 3:16). Jacob served Laban for 14 years because he loved Rachel—a sacrifice for the one he loved.
When a couple meets with a therapist, counselor, or pastor, it almost feels like a last-ditch effort. The clock is ticking and a desperate final attempt to turn the marriage around is being made. Is there still hope?
The Bible teaches us how to be hopeful in a hopeless world, in days filled with financial uncertainty, political turmoil, and just everyday normal challenges. Peter spoke of what we, followers of Christ, have received: the “new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time” (1 Peter 1:3-5). Our inheritance is reserved so we look forward to it with hopeful expectations. Focus on the future!
The call to be confident in the living hope we have should help us navigate the hurt, misunderstandings, and difficulties we face. We can trust that God is working all things for good. Instead of feeling desperate, Jacob’s hope carried him through seven more years of labor, and they were “like only a few days to him because of his love for [Rachel]” (Genesis 29:20). A hopeful outlook that makes time go so much faster! Let that be an example to you and me too.
The world continues to teach deflection, blame, and hiding, sometimes even exaggerating conflict. It’s more important to manage our public image or learn to get by and carry on. In short, live in falsehood. But God has given us His Spirit to defy the impulsiveness of either walking away from our responsibilities or quietly resigning ourselves to despair and hopelessness.
Paul’s great reminder to believers is this: “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5). Indeed, “love always hopes!” (1 Corinthians 13:7).
Elle shared that both her parents have been divorced from their spouses for years now. Admitting to one another that they have been each other’s great love, her parents have cautiously started dating each other again and are considering the possibility of remarriage. Elle is hopeful that she will one day see them back together.
As for the divorced family, their hopeful expectation of forgiveness and healing finally came. Although remarriage was off the table, there was cause for much joy as they got to celebrate occasions as a family in peace. There’s no longer a need to divide themselves into two camps.
There is a better story to unfold, of greater things to come, that God Himself will reveal to those who trust in Him. Love always hopes!
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/AntonioGuillem
Luisa Collopy is an author, speaker and a women’s Bible study teacher. She also produces Mula sa Puso (From the Heart) in Tagalog (her heart language), released on FEBC Philippines stations. Luisa loves spending time with her family over meals and karaoke!