Does Your Love Always Trust?

But on the morning of the proposed coffee date, I forgot! Somehow I got involved in the minutiae of my day and didn’t drive to the coffee shop. When I read the gentle text from my friend, I felt awful as I pictured my friend waiting and waiting—for me.

I immediately got in my car and drove the two miles to the coffee shop. But as I drove, I wondered: Would she be angry with me? Would she doubt my commitment to our friendship? Would she want to give up on me?

Thankfully, I didn’t need to worry about any of those things. My friend graciously forgave my oversight. She didn’t seem miffed or even upset. 

I think her response exhibited the truth: Love trusts. 

Trust is a precious facet of love. 1 Corinthians 13:6-7 says, "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (emphasis added).

Without trust, a reciprocal, loving relationship cannot exist. Love cannot be fashioned out of suspicion and doubt. It can’t exist in an atmosphere of cynicism and skepticism. It can’t grow in the soil of paranoia or anxiety.

So how can we exhibit love through trust? How do we respond when trust is broken? And is it really true that love always trusts?

How Does Love Trust?

If we want to love well, we can extend trust to our loved ones and friends. Here are a few ways love trusts:

Trust believes in the other person’s good intentions. My friend exhibited this aspect of trust. She believed me when I said I had been looking forward to our time together. She trusted that my forgetfulness was not due to a lack of prioritizing our relationship. Distrust immediately points a finger when someone makes a mistake. Distrust puts the worst construction on the event. Distrust might immediately assume the other person is the selfish one in the relationship. But trust thinks, I know their heart. I believe they value our friendship. Trust makes allowances for bad days and forgetful brains. Trust has confidence in the character of the other person even when they have messed up.

Trust allows freedom. This aspect of trust often shows up in marriage and family relationships. My control freak tendencies often prevent me from loving with trust when I ask my husband to do something but then insist he carries out the task my way. Distrust insists on controlling every situation. It acts as a micromanager or a helicopter parent. But trust says, “I believe in your abilities to carry out this task. I trust your wisdom in making this decision. I won’t insist on doing things my way because I have confidence that you will do your best for us.” Trust gives freedom wherever possible.

Trust opens the heart. Love cannot exist without intimacy and intimacy cannot exist without vulnerability. But I cannot be vulnerable with someone if I don’t trust them. Distrust withholds exposure of tender emotions because of fear the other person will trample all over them. Distrust doesn’t share closely held hopes and dreams because it worries they will be ridiculed. But trust says, “I love you enough to open my heart. I believe you will gently listen. I trust you will carefully hold my feelings and gently affirm my dreams for the future.” Trust is vulnerable.

Trust believes the best. Have you ever shared a meal with a group of friends when the conversation veers to talking about a mutual friend not present? Gossip ridicules the absent friend or recounts her embarrassing mistake or tells how she hurt someone. Distrust joins the fray, believing everything said. It may even condemn the person by sharing more faults and mistakes. But trust takes a beat and witholds judgment until it knows both sides of the story. Trust chooses to believe the best about the absent friend.

When Trust Is Broken

But what happens when trust is broken? When the person you love proves unfaithful? When a coworker betrays a confidence? When a formerly faithful friend lets you down again and again? How do we live out the words of 1 Corinthians 13:7 then? How do we always trust?

First of all, we do have to take into account that we do not have to extend trust to people when it is not safe. We love our toddlers, but we do not trust them to stay out of cabinets with dangerous chemicals so we put child locks on them. We may love a person, but when they have proved violent, we do not trust them enough to stay with them. We may have lovingly said, “I do,” but when we discover the other person at the altar has not fulfilled their vows we do not trust our heart to them any longer.

However, I think there are ways we can still trust.

Trust believes God is working. Even when we cannot fully trust a person, we can trust God. He continually works behind the scenes. We can trust that He will bring good out of even horrendous circumstances—whether that good is a reconciliation with the offender or a closer relationship with the One who walks with us through life’s dark tunnels.

Trust offers opportunities for reconciliation. We cannot blindly offer trust to someone who has broken a marriage commitment or betrayed a friendship. But trust in God can give us the strength to offer reconciliation. Trust in God’s forgiveness of our own sins and shortcomings enables us to share that forgiveness with others—forgiveness that frees our souls even if it doesn’t result in repairing the relationship. God does not require a husband or wife to continue marriage with an unfaithful spouse. And sometimes we need to cut ties with former friends who prove to be toxic. But trust does offer the other person an opportunity to repent and change. Trust gives the offender an opportunity to rebuild confidence.

Love Always Trusts God

While human beings will often let us down and make it difficult to maintain trust, God never fails. He is always worthy of our trust.

Psalm 143:8 says:

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
    for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
    for to you I entrust my life."

When I remember God’s unfailing love for me, I can return that love by entrusting my life to Him. Distrust in God’s love insists on living life on my own terms. Distrust ignores God’s instructions. Distrust avoids time with God for fear of what He may ask of me.

But trust obeys God's commands because it realizes God’s ways are best. Trust surrenders personal preferences because it believes God’s directions for life always lead to the optimal place. Trust seeks out time with the Lord because it wants to know Him better.

Does your love always trust? Does it believe the best about others and allow them freedom? Does it allow you to open your heart? Does it trust God to produce goodness even when human trust is broken?

Most of all, does your love for God show up as trust? Remember, love believes He always wants the best for you. Love has confidence in the path the Lord has mapped out for your life. Love trusts that the Father will always walk beside you. 

Photo Credit: ©Ingrid Hall/Unsplash

Sharla Fritz is a Christian author and speaker who weaves honest and humorous stories into life-changing Bible study. Author of the new book Measured by Grace: How God Defines Success, Sharla writes about God’s transforming grace and unfailing love. Sharla lives in the Chicago suburbs with her amusing pastor husband. Get her FREE ebook 21 Five-Minute Soul-Rest Practices or connect with Sharla at www.sharlafritz.com and Facebook.