Recently, I have been feeling like a failure in everything I do—at work, at home, and with personal relationships. Feeling like a failure is something that I’m not unfamiliar with. Throughout my adolescent years as well as my adult years, I have felt that I didn't meet the mark. Maybe you've felt the same and it impacts your daily life.
Feelings of failure can manifest in many negative ways. It can cause you to become stressed and anxious and can develop into mental health disorders. If a person constantly feels like a failure, they will have a negative self-image. Once a person has a negative self-image, it can be extremely difficult to repair and restore a healthy self-image. This is why it is important to know how to deal with feelings of failure as a Christian.
Never Feeling Good Enough
Feelings of failure will eventually make you feel like you aren't good enough. As a Christian, you must know that you are enough because of Jesus (Colossians 2:10). Don’t allow others or your own mind to tell you any different. You are not a failure. Maybe you messed up, but it doesn't make you a failure.
The Bible tells us that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). None of us can live up to the perfect standard that God demands because none of us can attain perfection. This is why Jesus had to leave heaven to save us from our sins. Through Jesus, we are more than enough, and He loves us for who we are today.
Many of us can feel like a failure after we fail a test, lose our job, or our significant other leaves us. All of these things have the power to derail our lives, but we don’t need to allow them to. We should take time to grieve what happened; however, we cannot allow these things to impact our self-view. Failing a test does not mean you are a failure and neither does losing your job mean you are a failure.
In the same way, if your partner leaves you, it does not mean you are a failure either. All of these things are unfortunate, but they do not determine your worth and they certainly don’t make you a failure. When we start believing the lie that we are a failure, we will not be effective for Christ. Rather than focusing on serving God and finding joy in Him, we will start dwelling on our self-destructive thoughts.
Accepting Failure, But Not Dwelling On It
No matter why you feel like a failure today, know that you will not feel like this forever. It's important to accept and process your feelings, but don't dwell on them. Dwelling on your feelings and ruminating about them will only make them intensify, fueling a destructive fire that never should have started. Instead of fueling the fire, choose to do what you can to put it out.
When you recognize the feelings of failure, you can shift how you respond to them. You no longer have to see failure as something that will destroy your day. Instead, you can see it as a learning opportunity and a chance to grow. While it is true that many people make us feel like failures for whatever reasons, it is important to remember that feedback, advice, and suggestions can also help us grow. We must recognize the difference between hateful critics and those who offer sound advice and guidance.
As an example, a fellow Christian recently talked with me about failing a major test at college. She automatically felt like a failure as she was used to always making A’s. This was the first non-passing grade that she had received during her entire time in college. Most of us can understand her feelings because we have been in the same place before. Failing a test can make us feel awful, but it does not make us a failure.
As I told my fellow sister in Christ, I share with you. Our worth is found in Christ—not in our successes or achievements. Moreover, our worth is not tied to our test scores, our college GPA, or our academic status. Our worth is only found in the Lord Jesus. This is something that all of us need to remind ourselves of throughout our lives when we are dealing with feelings of failure. No job title, relationship status, or socially praised achievement will make us feel victorious like Christ will.
Moving Forward with Hope
Once we can deal with feelings of failure by knowing that our worth is in Christ rather than our failures, we can move forward with a heart of hope. It is wise to trust God with your future as hope is found in Him. The Bible tells us, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).
God has great plans for your future, but you will not be able to realize these wonderful plans if you are dwelling on failures. Yes, feelings of failure are paralyzing, but you don’t have to spend the rest of your life feeling like a failure. God has a beautiful plan for your life, and only you can complete it. There will be mess-ups from time to time, yet they won’t block you from the life God has for you.
Understand that if we start being scared all the time about failing, we will never try anything new. This, in time, will make us fearful of doing anything new because we are afraid we will mess things up or that we will fail. Never trying anything new will inhibit you from going to new places, applying for a new job, or trying a new relationship. How can God use you if you are unwilling to go anywhere, do anything, or meet anyone for fear of failure?
Feeding into feelings of failure will only hinder your life. Jesus died in order for you to have an abundant life (John 10:10). Do not allow your life to be hindered any longer by what's in the past. Do not dwell on your mistakes and don’t fuel the fire. Turn these feelings over to God and remind yourself of your worth in Him.
If you are struggling to rest in the peace of your worth in Christ, ask Him to help you see yourself as He does. Tell the Lord that the feelings of failure are drowning you and that you need Him. The Lord hears all of your prayers and He will surround you with His peace. Remember the truths that your worth, your life, and your future are all found in Christ.
The Lord never associates you with your failures. He sees you as His beloved child (Romans 8:16). You are worthy, you are loved, and you are valuable. Never allow feelings of failure to cause you to feel less than. Ask for the Lord’s help in dealing with these feelings, trust Him with them, and allow the negativity to pass on. Feelings do not last forever, especially if you don’t feed into them. Choose to focus on what Jesus says about you rather than past mistakes.
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