The authenticity of trying to understand people’s journeys will cultivate deeper connections and provide opportunities to lead them to Christ.
According to one definition, being idealistic is “dreaming of perfection, either in yourself or others.” When I read this, I feel the familiar pull of idealism in my own life as I long for everyone and everything to turn out perfectly. Can you relate?
Perhaps idealism is why I gravitate towards Bible passages such as Revelation 21:1-4, which says, “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’”
The thought of everything being made new fills my soul with such joy I can hardly contain it! Yet here we are in the old, trying to navigate in a world where things are far from ideal. So, how can we set aside our idealistic expectations and live authentically?
Here are a few things to consider:
Be Authentically Understanding
In a previous article titled, "God’s Plan for Your Prodigal," I wrote, “Before my kids were born, I had an idealistic view of what parenting would be like. But it didn’t take long for my plans to be upended as the beautiful, yet challenging adventure began. What struck me most was the independence exerted by each of my kids, an independence that sometimes led them down compromising paths. For reasons I still ponder, I naively believed my children would be immune to compromise, especially when it came to matters of faith.”
You see, as a young mom, I was often judgmental of families dealing with rebellious teens and wayward children. I now see how awful those judgments were, and I’m understanding how idealistic thinking creates a false narrative of how things should be.
This doesn’t mean we can’t believe in God’s best for our lives and the lives of our loved ones. We can and should take God at His word. But a measure of compassionate understanding is needed in order to be authentic and approachable. Without empathy, we’ll struggle to connect in meaningful ways, ostracizing those who are on different paths than us.
Instead of painting an ideal picture of how things ought to be, let’s portray an understanding heart that points to Jesus. Let’s acknowledge there are countless things out of our control, and all of us are fully dependent on God’s grace and mercy. The authenticity of trying to understand people’s journeys will cultivate deeper connections and provide opportunities to lead them to Christ.
A Prayer for Understanding:
Lord, please open my mind to be compassionately understanding of others. Remove all judgment and criticism as I empathetically listen with the love of Christ. In His precious name, amen.
Be Authentically Helpful
Having an idealistic mindset isn’t helpful. Not only does it gloss over real-life issues, but it also keeps us stuck in patterns of avoidance. Phrases like, “Don’t worry; be happy” are printed on t-shirts and greeting cards, but they don’t offer solutions to our deepest struggles. It’s better to be honest about the problems we’re facing, admit we need help, and lead others to do the same.
Here are a few scenarios where being authentic is extremely helpful:
-Admitting we don’t have it all together, but trusting the One who holds everything together
-Sharing the testimony of our salvation from death to life
-Offering a listening ear, even when we can’t relate to the situation
-Serving without expecting anything in return
Authenticity goes a long way, not only in the Body of Christ, but in the eyes of the world. In the post titled, "A Prayer to Be an Authentic Christian in a World Full of Influencers," Chelsey De Matteis writes, “As Christians, we all can agree we're held to a higher standard as we journey through life on earth, but we have to get honest with ourselves and ask the question, have we too started to want to put ourselves above others? Have we gotten caught up in the trap of wanting to ‘influence’ people by boasting about our accomplishments, our children's accomplishments, and our possessions? Have we found more comfort in sharing about ourselves rather than asking how someone else is doing?”
Let’s adhere to a higher standard by humbling ourselves through kindness, consideration, and acts of service. Let’s forego the desire to make the world think we have it all together, and instead, live authentically helpful lives in the name of Jesus.
A Prayer for Helpfulness:
Lord, please show me how to help others in the most authentic way, not glossing over their problems, but providing encouragement, help, and truth for whatever is troubling them. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Be Authentically Hopeful
The difference between idealism and hope is that one lives in an unrealistic “dream” state while the other lives in a realistic “eternal” state. Sharing the hope we have in Christ—the hope offered to every person on earth—is not only beneficial; it’s crucial.
In the devotion titled, Authenticity, Pastor Greg Laurie writes, “People are scared right now. There’s a lot of uncertainty in the air. Look at the headlines. Opioid use is up. Alcohol sales are up. Suicide rates are up. People are looking for truth and hope. This is a moment for us to step into that conversation and talk truthfully about the hope we’ve found in Christ.”
This is the opportune time for us to share the secure hope we have in Jesus. It’s not the time to give false hope of an idealistic world where everyone can be carefree and happy. In John 16:33, Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
His encouragement to “take heart” doesn’t mean we ignore the trouble in the world, but, instead, declare God’s victory over it. And from a place of victory, we live purposefully, intentionally, and authentically.
I can only speak for myself here, but I’m ready to pivot from idealism and the expectation of perfection. I’m ready to live as authentically as possible, being the one people can turn to for honest conversation and compassionate understanding. Hopefully, this will lead to beautiful opportunities for sharing the gospel and leading others to Christ.
A prayer for authenticity:
Heavenly Father, please forgive me for putting unrealistic expectations on myself and others. Give me a heart to understand those around me, offering a listening ear of compassion and empathy. Even when I don’t agree with their decisions, lead me to serve others with a willingness to help. Draw me out of my daydream for a perfect life on earth and fix my eyes on eternity—the place where all hope is fulfilled. I pray these things in Jesus’ holy name, amen.
Resources mentioned in this article:
A Prayer to Be an Authentic Christian in a World Full of Influencers
Authenticity - Greg Laurie Devotion
God's Plan for Your Prodigal
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Matthew Hamilton
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
