I don’t know about you, but I resonate deeply with the father's prayer in Mark 9:24(b) ESV: “I believe; help my unbelief!”
Sometimes, when it comes to faith, all I can muster is the “want to want to.”
There are seasons in our lives and prayers in our hearts that often feel completely dry. Our hope grows brittle, like an autumn leaf that fell several weeks ago and is just waiting for a winter wind to sweep it away. We go through the motions spiritually, knowing God can…but will He? And what will it mean if He doesn’t? So we often turn our effort into worry and anxiety rather than trust and prayer—because we can’t quite reconcile it all. We feel anxious if we hope too much and guilty if we hope too little. At the end of the day, we feel like it all comes down to our faith, and well…that’s never enough.
But what if there was another way?
What if there was the peace and rest of spirit that came from recognizing one crucial, beautiful truth—that God is sovereign, even in our doubt?
What if it really wasn’t all up to us?
Here’s some good news—it’s not. And I can prove it. Journey with me, if you will, to history’s simultaneously most effective and pointless prayer meeting.
James 12:1-5 (ESV) "About that time Herod the king laid violent hands on some who belonged to the church. He killed James the brother of John with the sword, and when he saw that it pleased the Jews, he proceeded to arrest Peter also. This was during the days of Unleavened Bread. And when he had seized him, he put him in prison, delivering him over to four squads of soldiers to guard him, intending after the Passover to bring him out to the people. So Peter was kept in prison, but earnest prayer for him was made to God by the church."
It's not looking good for Peter. James was killed, and now Peter was arrested and guarded by a ridiculous number of guards. There was no rational or logical chance of escaping that situation. But the church prayed anyway—and they prayed earnestly. They’d seen miracles. They had faith. They were on it!
But at some point, their faith dwindled. Escape didn’t happen. The only reason Peter was still alive was because of the feast week. His days were numbered, and doubts of a miraculous intervention actually occurring began to trickle in. Doubt must have occurred for Peter, too, because look what happens next.
Acts 12:6-11 (ESV) "Now when Herod was about to bring him out, on that very night, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries before the door were guarding the prison. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood next to him, and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him, saying, “Get up quickly.” And the chains fell off his hands. And the angel said to him, “Dress yourself and put on your sandals.” And he did so. And he said to him, “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me.” And he went out and followed him. He did not know that what was being done by the angel was real, but thought he was seeing a vision. When they had passed the first and the second guard, they came to the iron gate leading into the city. It opened for them of its own accord, and they went out and went along one street, and immediately the angel left him. When Peter came to himself, he said, “Now I am sure that the Lord has sent his angel and rescued me from the hand of Herod and from all that the Jewish people were expecting.”
Notice verse 6, which says, “…about to bring him out, on that very night.” Dear reader, God is famous for His midnight-hour rescues. Remember that! It’s never too late. It wasn’t for Peter, and it’s not for you.
The next part cracks me up. The angel appears, nudges Peter awake, and, step by step, guides him through his escape. It’s not until Peter is fully out of the jail and standing in the street alone that he finally believes it all happened. Verse 11—“Now I am sure…” Even Peter didn’t believe the miracle during the miracle.
Your fledgling faith? Your doubt? Your worry? You’re in good company, friend.
Now get this:
Acts 12:12-14 (ESV) "When he realized this, he went to the house of Mary, the mother of John whose other name was Mark, where many were gathered together and were praying. And when he knocked at the door of the gateway, a servant girl named Rhoda came to answer. Recognizing Peter's voice, in her joy she did not open the gate but ran in and reported that Peter was standing at the gate."
This is also hilarious. I can just see Peter standing at the gate, probably casting furtive glances over his shoulder and trying to be inconspicuous. And Rhoda essentially freaks out with joy and runs away, rather than letting him in. ::facepalm::
But this next part is perhaps the most important to notice. Rhoda runs to those gathered with the amazing news and…
Acts 12:15-16 (ESV) "They said to her, 'You are out of your mind.' But she kept insisting that it was so, and they kept saying, 'It is his angel! But Peter continued knocking, and when they opened, they saw him and were amazed."
They didn’t believe her. They’d spent the better part of a week gathered together, praying for a miracle, and when the miracle was directly handed to them—they scoffed. Laughed. Doubted. Then looked for a logical explanation.
Yikes. How often do we do that? We pray for healing, then give credit to the medicine used or the doctor involved. We pray for provision, then chalk up the needed abundance to our spouse’s overtime hours or the sale at the grocery store, or the discount on the service rendered.
Yet God created that medicine. God created that doctor. And God used them both. God provided. God intervened. God answered.
Yet, like those waiting for Peter, we look for excuses because we doubt. Like those waiting for Peter, we’re more likely to assume it’s the ghost of his dead body or his guardian angel than a flesh-and-blood answer to fervent prayer. Oh, that we would pray like the honest, vulnerable father from Mark 9. “I believe. Help my unbelief!”
The members of the church got exactly what they had hoped for, and that still wasn’t enough to solidify their faith.
Hear me, reader. God does not need you to answer prayers. Does He invite you into the process? Yes. Does He use the prayers of His saints? Absolutely. Does He impress upon people’s hearts to pray? Of course. Should we pray even when we doubt? Yep. Looks like there’s a prime example right here.
But get this: Is it all up to you to pray perfectly? No. Will God’s plans fail if you don’t pray hard enough or frequently enough? Of course not. Can God work with your weak faith and doubt? Absolutely.
God is sovereign, even over our doubts. God wanted to bust Peter out of prison, and nothing—not even four squads of soldiers, multiple chains, and locked cells—could prevent that.
Not even a prayer weak in faith.
If the fact that God works and brings His purposes about despite our weakness doesn’t immediately strengthen you, I don’t know what will.
The pressure is off, friend. You can pray freely with full trust and faith in God’s sovereignty because He is a Good Father. He is wise, omniscient, and powerful. It took zero effort for Him to bust Peter out of prison. Zero effort for Philip to teleport cross-country after witnessing to the Ethiopian Eunuch in Acts 8. Zero effort for the wind and waves to still that stormy afternoon on the Sea of Galilee in Mark 4. He is the God of miracles.
Maybe right now, right where you are, whisper the prayer of that desperate father for his son. “I believe. Help my unbelief.” Let Him work that out in you. Be inspired and encouraged by the faith and failings of those around you—both today and in biblical history. You’re not alone. You’re not expected to be perfect. And you aren’t going to screw it all up.
Remember that God is still in the miracle business and that the midnight hour is not too late for Him. He is always right on time, providing exactly what we need, when we need it. He is faithful, even when we fail. He is strong, even when we’re weak.
And He is sovereign—even over our doubt.
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