![Have You Lost Your First Love?](https://i.swncdn.com/media/700w/via/images/2023/05/04/30555/30555-heart-rock_source_file.png)
In our effort to serve in the church and the community, have we made the act of service our idol? Have we replaced our first love with our works and good deeds?
If you’ve ever received a letter praising you for your hard work and achievements, you know firsthand how it feels.
In Revelation 2 (NLT), the letter to the church in Ephesus starts out this way: “I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance…”
At first, it seems like it's going to be a really good letter, one of those that makes you feel good. If I received a letter like that, I would be grinning ear-to-ear. I would feel seen. My hard work, patience, and perseverance have finally been noticed.
Yet, in verse 4, the words take an unexpected turn; despite their high score in the hard work and high moral compass category, the church didn't do so well in the love department.
"I have this complaint against you. You don't love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first." Revelation 2:4-5 (NLT)
As I read these verses, I feel like it could've been addressed to any of us—especially me!
Throughout the Scriptures, we are instructed to love God and to love others. Yet, somewhere along the line, we get mixed up and start believing our work is more important.
Here, in this sacred letter to the church in Ephesus, Jesus makes it very clear that they have gotten way off track. Today, nearly 2,000 years later, it serves as a reminder to all believers to always put love first.
So, just exactly how had the Ephesians lost their first love? What is meant by "first" love in this passage?
I have seen a couple of different explanations, and even have an idea of my own to add.
Have You Lost Your Love of Jesus?
When we allow ourselves to get caught up in everything we do "in the name of Jesus" and for "God's glory,” it's easy to lose sight of our initial loving feelings when we were first saved.
Perhaps this is why Jesus rebukes the church. Have they gotten so caught up in their work that they no longer invest in their relationship with God?
Although work is an essential part of our faith, we must be careful not to put it before God himself. When we do, we risk taking all the credit. Isaiah 42:8 (NLT) warns us, "I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols." And Psalm 78:58 (NLT) says this about people who put their idols before God: "For they provoked him to anger with their high places; they moved him to jealousy with their idols."
In our effort to serve in the church and the community, have we made the act of service our idol? Have we replaced our first love with our works and good deeds?
In his book, Revealing Revelation, Amir Tsarfati adds his own commentary about what happens when we put our work before our love: "But sometimes Christian activities can keep believers from spending time with Christ.... they need to beware of being so busy for God that they lose touch with God.... If service is not built on a foundation of close daily quiet time with God, it becomes inevitable that bitterness, anger, territorialism, and wrong motives will creep in" (p. 57).
One could easily agree that the first love the church referred to in Revelation 2 was God himself.
I am often guilty of worshipping my deeds rather than Jesus.
If this is something you struggle with, the solution is simple:
Start spending time with God again. Get back into the Word, and start praying and conversing with God regularly.
He didn't save you so He could put you to work; He saved you because He loves you and wants you to be free. He saved you so you could walk and talk with Him just like Adam and Eve did before the fall of mankind (Genesis 3:8).
Joel 2:13-14 (NLT) tells the people of Israel to "return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, rich in faithful love...Who knows? He may turn and relent and leave a blessing behind Him."
God desires to be near us, and when we draw near to Him, He blesses us.
Have You Lost Your Love for Others?
The original “greatest” commandment was to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, but in the New Testament, Jesus enhanced it to add a part two—to love others as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).
Loving God is easy because He is loveable. But loving others takes work, especially when they’re not so lovable.
It’s easier to just write people off when we don’t get along with them, when they look different than us and believe differently than we do. Instead, we form tight-knit, cozy, little circles with people we like.
In an earlier letter from Paul, we learn that this wasn’t the first time the Church of Ephesus struggled to love others as Jesus did. From the way the passages in Ephesians 2 and 4 read, I get the feeling they had started to think too highly of themselves, forgetting where they had come from. Paul reminded the church that they, too, were once lost and in need of a savior, and that they could not take credit for their salvation (Ephesians 2:1-8).
When Paul set out to Macedonia, he asked Timothy to stay in Ephesus to continue to spur them toward love rather than meaningless speculations and discussions:
"The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith. But some people have missed the whole point..." (1 Timothy 1:5-6 NLT)
Not only did the Ephesians struggle with loving others, so did the Corinthians, which is made evident by 1 Corinthians 13, the famous love chapter, prefaced by verse 12:31 (NLT): "But now let me show you a way of life that is best of all." Paul once again makes it clear that nothing we do matters if we don't first love others.
These are just a few examples where believers had to be reminded to love. If you spend any time at all reading the New Testament, you’ll likely see that the issue of loving others is a common problem among believers of the universal church.
Hebrews 6:9-12 (NLT) summarizes the role of the mature Christian: “Our great desire is that you will keep loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent.”
When we’re new to the faith, we’re just learning the importance of repentance of our sins, trusting God, prayer, baptism, etc. But as we mature, the greatest thing we can do is love others as Jesus did.
Have You Lost the Love of Your Calling?
Even though biblical scholars agree that the “first love” referenced in this passage is either in regards to their love for Jesus and/or their love for others, I’d like to add that many of us have lost another first love along the way, and that is the love of our calling.
Most definitely, if you have lost your love for God and/or for others, you have also lost the love of your calling; however, I believe the love of your calling often falls away before the first two. Let me explain what I mean:
When we first set out on a journey, we are full of excitement, hope, and energy. It’s like this when we first feel like God has called us to something, whether it’s to write a book, start a women’s ministry, go on a mission trip, or plant a church. All we see are sunny skies and a vision of a future that must be good because it’s from God. We don’t plan to encounter storms, break down and get stuck on the side of the road, or take a wrong turn and get lost along the way. The reality is that these things are going to happen. Resistance is part of the journey. And enduring and persevering despite resistance is how we grow.
Yet, many of us grow tired and just give up. We lose the love we once had for our calling. And rather than pushing through, we assume if it’s this hard, it must not be from God, after all.
If you have struggled with resistance along the path of heeding God’s calling, I encourage you to not give up, to return to your love, and to press on (Philippians 3:14).
Regardless of what you've lost that loving feeling for, the solution and instruction from Jesus remain the same:
-Remember your first love.
-Repent for falling away.
-Return to your first love.
It’s not too late. Just as Jesus told the Church in Ephesus, there’s still time to remember, repent, and return.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Yevheniia Bondarieva
Jennifer Jabbour resides in the scenic San Diego countryside with her husband, adult son, and teen daughter, and their hilarious English Bulldog. Jennifer has a B.A. in Integrated Business Communications, and is a Go + Tell Gals licensed life coach. Jennifer hopes to use her calling of writing, coaching, and speaking to equip and empower women to clarify their vision and to boldly step forward in response to God's calling on their life, as well as educate and encourage others to experience the abundance of God's goodness when they seek Him first in all that they do. Jennifer is also a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a photographer, and an avid outdoors-woman. She loves camping, hiking, running, and playing the piano in her free time.
You can keep up with Jennifer on her website https://www.jenniferjabbour.