Emotions can be powerful. A person who's driven by anger, sadness, or grief can say and do things that would tarnish their relationships simply because of those big emotions. Because those emotions haven't been properly processed, they leak into our worldview and affect how we interact with ourselves, others, and God.
When I'm going through a difficult situation, the anger and sadness that I carry with it can stay with me for months and even years. Because processing big emotions is a process, those emotions don't just go away immediately. Instead, they often stay with me for an extended period. I pray, cry, journal, and pour my heart out to God. I am honest and vulnerable with God.
Even when the situations don't change, my intimacy with God grows because I choose to be vulnerable with him. For years, I felt if my situation did not change, then my time with God was wasted. But God showed me he is more interested in my heart than in making a problem go away. God is not a genie in a bottle. While he cares about our lives and works out everything for our good, he cares more about us being in the right relationship than making life easy.
Sometimes, those emotions are still with me because other events trigger painful emotions. Life is hard, and events that hinder or even sever relationships are challenging to process. Areas of loss need to be grieved and processed. For many years, I believed I was stuck in these emotions. I thought I'd never stop being angry or sad ever again. The events I had gone through and the betrayals I endured were too much to get past.
One day, I started a gratitude journal. I chose to think of 10 to 20 things I was grateful for. At first, it was tough. I had to search for things to be grateful for. One of my entries was I was thankful for the shoes on my feet. But as I committed to changing my mind from discontentment to gratitude, I noticed my attitude changed.
Even when my situation didn't change, I chose to see it from a different point of view. I chose to see it with an attitude of gratitude rather than anger or disappointment, but just because my attitude changed didn't mean I decided to ignore the challenging situation.
While I still dealt with the complex emotions of the events, I learned that gratitude could help lift my bad and sad moods. When I got used to changing my attitude to gratitude, I noticed my mood lifted more quickly, and I began to live a life out of thankfulness rather than discontentment.
Here's how I learned gratitude can lift any mood:
Emotions can't be trusted because they wax and wane. One day, I may feel sad; the next, I may feel angry. The following day, I may feel joyful. Because emotions change so quickly, it's difficult to recognize which are true and righteous.
Additionally, emotions are based on the thoughts in my head. If my thoughts are not grounded in the truth of God's Word, my feelings quickly follow. Therefore, I may be following my heart rather than God's truth. Jeremiah warned us of this when he said, “The heart is deceitful above all things and without a cure. Who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).
Fairy tales and children's entertainment often tell us to follow our hearts. This is not the truth; it's not grounded in scripture. However, many children carry that into adulthood. They often make instant decisions based on what their hearts tell them to do. Because the heart is filled with sinful depravity, it may tell us to follow one way, but those are often selfish desires that can wreak havoc on our relationship with God and others.
Don't trust your emotions. Instead, trust the truth of scripture. Scripture tells us about a God who never changes. He is someone we can count on.
One of Jesus's last acts before he was taken to the cross to be crucified was communion with his apostles. During this time, he broke bread, lifted it to heaven, and gave thanks. His final example to his disciples was of gratitude; he was still grateful even when he knew what was coming soon. He chose to be thankful for the situation he was in even when he knew he would endure incredible physical, mental, and emotional pain.
God is an example of gratitude that we can follow. I can be grateful for my situation and see the silver lining even when seeing one is difficult. My attitude is one of choice. I can choose to be grateful for everything. Or I can choose to muddle through sadness, grief, and anger. These emotions can keep me feeling down, or I can be joyful even amid sorrow. The choice is mine. Jesus chose gratitude, and I should choose gratitude too.
Attitudes are difficult to change overnight. When we see the world through a negative lens, it isn't easy to see it through any other lens. However, constant gratitude will rewire our brains to look at things with gratefulness rather than despair or disappointment. Although it is challenging if we continually persevere through gratitude, our attitudes will undoubtedly change, and we will become grateful for all the things God has given us, not focused on the things we're lacking. We will leave what we lack in God's hands and be thankful for all the blessings he has bestowed on us. Suddenly, we will not just thank him for the shoes on our feet.
In my quiet time, after a while, I couldn't stop writing down things I was grateful for. I no longer needed to search for things to be thankful for. Instead, I saw things all the time that I was grateful for. I began to see my life situations as positive rather than negative. For example, if I received a rejection on a new book project, I didn't see it with disappointment or despair. Instead, I saw it with gratitude and the assurance that God was sparing me from something. This was not part of God's plan, and if I wanted to yield to God's plan, I would have to follow what he wanted for my life.
My attitude changed in almost every area of my life. Even when I was going through a difficult time in our church, I chose this seat with gratitude. Each week, I would smile and be grateful for my conversations with the many people I loved. I stopped focusing on the one area of strain and concentrated on everyone who loved and wanted to bless us.
My attitude changed, and so did my willingness to live life to the fullest. When my attitude changed, I could look at life joyfully because I could be content in my circumstances. This is because I gave my situation to God and let him handle it. When I decided to surrender control and give it to God, I was happier and more content each day.
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