God needs nothing from us. He is all-knowing and created us as well as the earth. But he desires fellowship with us. In fact, he yearns for it. He wants us to want to be in fellowship with him. When we allow our sin or other emotional wounds to prohibit us from having the intimacy God desires from us, it not only inhibits our spiritual growth but also stops us from achieving a deep, personal relationship with him.
For many years, I prayed to God and read my Bible. I went through the motions of my faith. But I can honestly say I didn't know him. My relationship with God was superficial at best. That was until I stopped worrying about how I looked or sounded to God and just focused on having deep fellowship with him. When I observed these six elements to an intimate relationship with God, I received the deep relationship I desired:
First, I got rid of my perceived expectations. I didn't allow my skewed viewpoint of how I saw God to affect my relationship with him. After I prayed to God and spent time listening for his voice, I often found that what I believed I heard from God was not the same as what I believed about God in my mind. Often, I believed lies like:
God can't use me because I am not perfect.
My sins are too great; I am damaged goods in God's eyes.
Christ blood won't cover over all my shortcomings.
It wasn't until I challenged these erroneous beliefs against the Word of God that I realized I believed lies about God that were inhibiting my spiritual growth. When I got rid of what I believed were God's expectations of me, I was able to worship him in a new and exciting way.
Second, I cried out to God. Many nights I prayed to God with superficial prayers that didn't get down deep into the recesses of my heart. When I became completely contrite before the Lord, and I got real about my sin and started to grieve over it (and realize how much my sin grieved God), I was able to rid myself of that burden. Once I grieved over my sins, I was able to believe the truth of the gospel that Christ died for my sins and that there was nothing that I could do that Christ’s blood did not cover. When I started to believe the truth, I achieved intimacy like never before.
Third, I was able to forgive. This may sound unusual, but I realized I had certain situations that I believed God caused. These situations caused me grief and pain and I was mad at God for allowing me to go through them. When I harbored unforgiveness toward God, it impeded my spiritual growth. God does not intend for us to harbor unforgiveness. Colossians 3:13-25 says, “Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” This includes God. I couldn't pray to him or hear his voice because I was so busy holding things against him. When I was able to properly assign the blame the pain those situations caused, and forgive the people who had hurt me, I began to know God more intimately.
Fourth, I became more involved in my local church body. God created the local church body for accountability, encouragement, and fellowship. But I wasn't taking advantage of it like I should. Because I'm a pastor's wife, I often created a separation between myself and the congregation members. I needed to stop seeing them as mere acquaintances and rather see them as the brothers and sisters in Christ that God had placed in my path for this season. When I began to love my local church, I loved God more.
Fifth, I started listening more than I talked. For many years in the beginning of my spiritual journey, I used my time to talk to God. While this is very important, I never took the time to hear God's voice. Part of me was scared that if I did hear his voice, he would say something that I wouldn't be able to obey. As I listened for God's voice and heard him speaking, I realized that was the highlight of my quiet time. Soon, I missed hearing God's voice so much, and I asked him to speak to me more often. As I heard God's voice, it became less scary, and I looked for it as part of my quiet time. Some of the best moments of my spiritual walk have been when God has spoken to me. There's nothing like listening to and obeying the voice of God to know how real he is in your life.
Sixth, I used my spiritual gifts. Although I have taken a spiritual gifts’ inventory many times, I know that my spiritual gifts can change. God allows spiritual gifts that emerge for different seasons and for different purposes. I have learned not to limit myself to simply what I see on a test, but rather what I feel God is doing within me. As I practice using my spiritual gifts more often, I feel God's intimacy and deep love because I am reminded that God has wired me and created me for a specific purpose.
There is no one on earth that can do what I can do. When I walk every day in the realization that God has created me to do his work and that my life has unique purpose and meaning, it causes me to live more intentionally. Because I have practiced my spiritual gifts frequently, it is easy for those gifts to emerge when a situation requires them. This situation can be within my local church body or outside of it. Regardless of the environment, I know that God has created me and sees me as special. When I see myself as being special in God's eyes, it helps me walk more purposely and love God more intimately.
You may be someone struggling in your spiritual walk right now. But there is hope. Understand that even if you’re not hearing anything but silence from God, know he’s working on your behalf. If you are praying for a situation that hasn't resolved (even if it has been for many years), don't give up on the hope that God can still answer your prayer. God does not operate on our timeline, but on his. God's timing is always perfect, even when it feels like he will never move, or we grow impatient. Understand God has the situation under control and knows exactly what to do. He is also working in the lives of others to bring forth what you have prayed.
Regardless of what situations you are praying for, God desires your fellowship first. When you place it as your utmost priority, it will allow you to increase your perseverance and patience as you wait with expectation for God to do miraculous works in your life. Trust God and know his promises. Seek an intimate relationship with God and you'll never go wrong.
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