The importance of forgiveness in the context of Christ’s sacrifice for our sins points to the miraculous healing power of forgiveness.
February has never been an easy month for me. Though the days are getting longer, and the nights are getting shorter, the brisk winter air still bites me deep within. After losing one of my half-brothers to an overdose last year around this time, I'm not sure I've been the same. I still rejoice with every Valentine I receive or smile when we get seven inches of snow, but something about winter ices my veins—it penetrates my heart to the core.
This is a vivid picture of how many describe forgiveness, or lack thereof. As much as they try to forgive, they just can't seem to let go. It's like they are bitten by the icy winds and unable to get warm. No matter how much hot tea they drink, the blankets they pile on, or the bubble baths they indulge, their hearts are cold. Many people want to forgive, but they can't seem to shake the scenario.
Intellectually, they know the importance of forgiveness, personally and spiritually. They know that's something they should do, and that forgiveness doesn't mean what the other person did was okay. Still, they end up holding onto grudges or bitterness. Before they know it, their emotions and spirits are mourning.
As Christians, they know Jesus' words in Matthew 6:14-15 by heart: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15, NIV). It sounds so easy to let it go so that we, too, may be forgiven. But as we all know, forgiveness isn't that easy. So how do we learn to forgive?
Why Forgiveness Is Hard
If we want to learn how to forgive, we must begin by acknowledging that forgiveness is hard. While I'm a firm believer of Jesus Christ, I will be the first to tell you that forgiveness isn't easy. Although Jesus has given us the ultimate gift of forgiveness and asks us to live by that mantra, I don't think it was easy for Him to hang on the cross for our sins knowing He'd done nothing wrong.
Forgiveness is hard because it requires us to mentally remove the thought, action, deed, or scenario from our minds. Note that this isn't the same as forgetting. I don't believe to "forgive and forget" is biblical, but I do believe it's possible to "forgive and move on." I also want to be clear that forgiveness is not the same as excusing wrong behavior.
If we want to learn how to forgive, we must acknowledge this pain and difficulty in forgiving others, especially when they've hurt, wounded, or betrayed us badly. Why is this important? Without honesty, we're only fooling and hurting ourselves. God wants us to be honest with Him about everything, and that includes our deepest wounds of unforgiveness. When we choose to not forgive, the effects actually hurt our peace, relationships, and spiritual well-being. Though holding onto unforgiveness might seem powerful, it often only hurts us.
What the Bible Teaches About Forgiveness
Forgiveness at its core is built on the biblical foundation of Jesus. Matthew 18:21-22, Ephesians 4:32, and Colossians 3:13 are just a few verses that point to this definition, but Luke 23:34 perhaps points to it best when Jesus Himself was crucified on the cross: "Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.' And they divided up his clothes by casting lots" (Luke 23:34, NIV). Jesus forgave us of our sins because of the love He had for us and the promise that He knew was waiting on the other side. He was obedient to God's will, no matter the cost.
The importance of forgiveness in the context of Christ’s sacrifice for our sins points to the miraculous healing power of forgiveness. While it seems odd and contrary, true and biblical forgiveness brings emotional healing, peace, and freedom. Jesus is our primary example, but many other figures in the Scriptures point to this beauty as well.
Joseph forgave his brothers who sold him into slavery. Hosea repeatedly took Gomer back after prostitution and adultery. Esau forgave Jacob for stealing his blessing (more than once)! The list goes on and on. While forgiveness in any of these circumstances wouldn't have been easy, choosing to forgive enabled them to break the chains of bitterness and resentment. It enabled them to move on in their lives with the freedom that comes from letting go.
Forgiveness as an Act of Faith
To me, forgiveness is an act of faith and trust in God. It's reliance on Him that when I choose to forgive, He will do the rest. I may not forget what they did, and what they did wasn't okay, but I'm leaving the future, the judgment, the aftermath, the path forward to my Lord. Why? Because there is spiritual strength to be found in choosing to forgive, even when it's difficult.
Forgiving others doesn't just reflect God’s grace and mercy toward us (Matthew 18:33), but it shows His love for the world. In the end, we must trust that God's justice and timing will prevail because we trust He will right every wrong. As Romans 12:17-21 (NIV) encourages, "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.'"
The Benefits of Living a Forgiving Life
There is peace that comes from a forgiving heart and a clear conscience. Our relationship with God is deepened, and our faith is strengthened. Even more so, God enables us to take practical steps toward forgiveness and healing.
If someone has hurt you, I encourage you to acknowledge the hurt and pain. Forgiveness isn't ignorance; it's authentic confession. Second, I encourage you to release the need for revenge or justice, knowing that, in the end, God will make all things right. Even if we don't see retribution here on earth, we can rest assured that God sees all and will deal with things accordingly.
Taking these two steps isn't easy. It's painful to let go of the need for justice and the hurt you've experienced. But if you can pray for the person who hurt you and ask God to help you forgive, you can choose to forgive. Forgiveness allows us to let go of the past and trust God with the eternal outcome.
If you're struggling to forgive today, I want to let you know that you're not alone. Forgiveness can be a difficult concept to grasp, let alone embrace. But with the power of the Holy Spirit within you, you can take that first step toward forgiveness in your life.
Forgiveness isn't a one-and-done phenomenon. It often requires time, patience, and processing. But it's a powerful choice that can lead to healing and freedom in due time.
Agape, Amber
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