When we achieve the purpose of helping others, a sense of trust is built. People bond uniquely when we help each other meet the needs of those around us.
I walk into my local church sanctuary. Greeters smile and say "Hello!" as I walk in the door. I slide my giving envelope into the slot in the locked receptacles to fulfill my Christian obligation to tithe. I sit alone in an aisle of people who don’t look my way.
As I wait for the weekly service to begin, I stare at my phone. People step over me in the aisle to hug the person to my left. I wait for a greeting, but it never comes. I wait for anyone to stretch out a hand, say “Good morning,” and ask my name or how long I've been attending. But that invitation never comes. Standing in a room full of people who look my way but never initiate a conversation, I ask myself, “Why do I feel so alone?”
I'm in a room full of fellow believers, my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I belong for a moment. We all throw our hands up in surrender as the music begins. We sway back and forth to the lively, contemporary music. We clap on beat. The pastor starts his preaching. It’s solid and consistent with the Word. He engages me briefly, but my heart dreads what awaits me when I leave.
I grab my purse before the last song and sneak out the sanctuary doors. I do this to avoid rejection when I stand in a sanctuary full of fellow believers as no one speaks to me.
Have you ever felt alone in a room full of people? If so, there’s hope. Church is where I feel true community. Even in a big church, I can still find true community with people who think and act like me. We all have one primary focus, and that is Jesus. How do I stop feeling so alone and have true community?
Hebrews 10:25 begs us to keep the habit of meeting together, and Acts 2 offers an incredible example of a community-based church, so let's look at several ways to achieve such an authentic faith community:
Small Groups
Even though it was difficult, I got up the nerve to try a new small group. I walked into the room, knowing no one. Still, I continued studying the Bible with the ladies each week and participated in the group discussion.
Eventually, I got added to the group chat, and I got to know people's stories more intimately. I could also pray for others as I was assigned an accountability partner who checks in with me regularly. All these things helped combat the loneliness I felt on Sunday mornings.
The Sunday morning model could be changed to be more conducive to intimate connections. At best, we have a superficial conversation regarding our children or our work, only to fly out the door and come back the following week.
However, small groups give people the opportunity and space to share their intimate concerns with others. As trust is built, people can share their struggles without fear of judgment or condemnation. A small group is also a space where things are held confidential, so people don't have to feel their prayer request will get back to the person they're praying for.
Prayer
I need to pray for people's needs to get to know them more intimately. This means taking the focus off myself and placing it on others. This means I need to ask others what I could be praying for them. I also need to be mindful and pray precisely what they asked for. I need to follow up and let them know I am still praying.
This extends a gesture of kindness and compassion. People will feel I care about them and want to know them better when I pray for them. Small groups are great, but prayer is a gesture of love and compassion because I can do it independently without provocation from a small group leader.
Reaching out, letting people know, and praying for them tells them they are loved and what they say matters. I can also make people feel built up, cared for, and cherished as they share their intimate needs with me. For every person who shares a need and gets emotional, I can step in with a tissue or a touch on the shoulder to let them know I love them and want to build them up.
Most importantly, prayer helps people understand that they are not alone. When they feel that others are praying for them, it gives them a sense of camaraderie and makes them feel like their situation has hope.
Technology
Technology can often be seen as a hindrance to intimacy. People usually stare at screens, creating a distance between themselves and the person they're supposed to be looking at. However, group chats where people can text each other help give immediacy to a vital prayer need.
It also helps people converse at times other than Sunday morning or in small groups. Because the small group is generally focused on a specific agenda like prayer or Bible study, it is challenging to chat and express how they are doing and how their week is going. Group chats help bridge the gap. People can even send funny memes to each other and make each other laugh throughout the week. This helps create that sense of camaraderie again and keep the friendship that people are looking for.
All the ways listed above help foster community. Not only are they built up spiritually, which helps them grow, change behaviors, and make themselves better people, but they also connect with like-minded people intimately.
Additionally, they learn from people of all generations and ages. This helps embrace diversity as people celebrate each other's differences. We can also help people celebrate other cultures and understand that the world is more significant than their own town.
Missions Work
One additional way I can have camaraderie is by doing mission projects with other church members. There's nothing like getting together and helping those in need. Whether it is overseas or outside my doorstep, people are always in need. When we achieve the purpose of helping others, a sense of trust is built. People bond uniquely when we help each other meet the needs of those around us.
Jesus sent disciples two by two to go out into the towns and meet people's needs. In his mission-minded focus, the disciples built trust together as they spent time meeting the needs around them and each other's needs. Church is the primary place where people can grow in their own lives, seek to meet the needs of those around them, and make the world a better place.
The local church provides intimacy, connection, and authentic community as no other organization can. Seek to connect to a local church if you are not already a part of one. If you are, seek to get more involved, get to know other people you wouldn't ordinarily get to know, and achieve the mission of being the hands and feet of Jesus within the four walls of your local church.
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