All across the Western world, where churches exist on almost every other corner, people leave one church and decide to try another. They get ticked off by the music, decide the drums are too loud, they get their feelings hurt by something a staff member said, or they decide they are on a different page theologically. Some feel their needs aren’t being met through the preaching, or they can’t find community. Whatever the reason, the bottom line is that many churches have a revolving door. People enter, but just as frequently, they exit.
God designed us for transformation, and that happens best in community. His desire is for followers of Jesus to be committed to a local church. There is absolute beauty when people live in community together for many years. They worship together, celebrate new life together, and grieve sorrows together. However, while it might be ideal to stay in one church for many years, there are legitimate reasons why someone might want to switch churches. But, before making a change, it is wise to do some prayerful reflecting so that whenever you leave a church, you leave well. As followers of Jesus, we want to end each season graciously so that we can enter the new season confidently.
In the process of prayerful reflection, here are ten important things to consider before switching churches:
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1. Has the church gone off in a doctrinal direction that you disagree with?
At times, we will disagree with certain decisions that are made by staff members. Certainly, we can disagree without just stomping off to another church. However, if the doctrine of your church begins to shift in a direction that you feel is biblically incorrect, it’s a good time to consider leaving. But, before you leave, sit down with the Pastoral staff and express your concerns. Be sure you have a deep Biblical understanding of why you feel the shift in doctrine is awry. Please note that I’m not speaking here of music styles shifting or ministry styles shifting. I’m speaking of doctrinal shifts that go against your understanding of the word of God.
2. Have you reconciled with people who have offended you, or are you leaving nurturing your hurt feelings?
God’s word is clear that we are to pursue reconciliation. Jesus Himself said, “Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24). If you’ve been hurt by someone, set up a time to meet. Put the prayer and effort into reconciling. Don’t leave a church angry. Instead, do the work. Let go of any offenses and leave with a peaceful heart.
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3. Would another church be a better fit for your kids?
Some churches lack the resources for a strong church youth group. As your kids hit their teen years, you might feel they need to be surrounded by strong Christian friends. If you feel you need to switch churches to find a better youth group for your kids, be sure to communicate that in a loving and gracious manner to your church leaders. Thank them for the ministry they have had with your family, but explain why it’s important to you to help your kids find a thriving youth group. Raising your kids to love God and the local church is essential, so consider carefully if your church is a good fit for your kids.
4. Has your church become more obsessed with politics than with the Word of God?
Unfortunately, across the United States, in particular, churches have become obsessed with politics. If you trace back through church history, whenever the church has become overly involved in politics, the church has lost vibrancy. We are to keep Jesus as the main thing. Pray for our civic leaders. Vote. But keep Jesus central. Our primary allegiance is to Jesus Christ, not some political party. If you sense your church veering too far into the political arena, express your concerns. However, if the politics continues, it might be better to switch churches.
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5. If you switch churches will you lose your primary community?
All churches go through seasons of highs and lows. There are times when they thrive and times when they diminish. If doctrinally, you are still on the same page, you can support the staff and be an encouragement, it might be better to stay. You need to consider the sense of community that might be lost if you leave. Your sense of connection might be more important than worship styles or preaching styles.
6. Is there any type of abuse happening that is being ignored by the leadership?
In recent months, we’ve all heard about abuse cases within the churches. Many of those have been swept under the carpet. If there is any type of abuse happening, whether spiritual abuse, emotional abuse, abuse of power, or sexual abuse, it’s time to check out another church. Where there has been an abuse, God will not bless. Now, having said that, we must be discerning. A strong personality doesn’t necessarily mean abuse. However, if women are being abused or leaders are being bullied, it is time to consider another congregation. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom, and He will show you what to do.
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7. Can you find a place to serve using the gifts God has given you?
The Holy Spirit has given each believer a gift that is meant to build up the body of Christ. If you can’t find a place to serve using your gift, it might be time to consider another church. Several years ago, I attended a church for a few months. But as I was seeking God He began to prompt me to consider whether or not I could use my gifts in that body. As I continued to seek God’s will He led me to try a different community of believers. Within the first month of trying the new church, I was approached by the pastors to serve using very specific gifts God had given me. I knew immediately, that I had found my new church home. God doesn’t give us gifts to be wasted. He expects us to steward those gifts well.
8. Is the church geographically close enough for you to serve?
This question is important because it is not God’s will that you attend church but never get involved. Now certainly there are seasons where for one reason or another you might need to attend church and simply rest. However, long term this is not an option. When the church you’re attending is so far away that you can’t serve or your kids can’t get involved in youth activities, it’s time to look for a church closer to your home.
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9. Does the church have financial transparency?
It’s extremely important that churches operate with financial integrity. If funds are being misused by leadership, those who give lose trust. In 2 Corinthians 8:19, Paul writes about the offerings that are administered in “order to honor the Lord.” As believers, we want to be sure that we are honoring the Lord with our tithes and offerings. Every church should submit to an audit to be sure funds are allocated properly. Christian leaders who resist financial accountability prove themselves to be untrustworthy. If you know for sure that your leaders are resisting financial accountability, it’s time to look for another church.
10. How has your church blessed you in the past?
Before switching churches, it’s a good practice to look back and remember all the ways your church has blessed you in the past. Spend time praising God for all He has done for you in your church. This practice helps you end your time at one church graciously before commencing your time with a new congregation.
The decision to switch churches is never an easy one. However, by considering these ten important questions prayerfully, you will be able to navigate potential switching with wisdom and grace. God promises to give wisdom when we ask (James 1:5). He will show you how to end well when that becomes necessary, and He will go before you to prepare the way to engage with a new congregation. The key is to ask Him for wisdom and spend ample time in prayer and reflection before making any change.
Related Resource: Shrinking the Integrity Gap: Helping Leaders Live Out What They Preach
There’s an old quote that still rings true today, “More than 70% of leaders do not finish well.” Unfortunately, we so often see those with big followings, platforms, and pedestals fall or stumble due to something being done in private. If you're a leader in your church or a friend to a leader, this is an episode of The Built Different Podcast that you do not want to miss. If you like what you hear, be sure to subscribe to The Built Different Podcast on Apple, Spotify or YouTube so you never miss an episode!
Have you ever left a church before? In your experience, what was your reasoning for wanting to find a new one? Join the conversation HERE on Crosswalk Forums!
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Originally published Tuesday, 24 October 2023.
