Walking through the annual conference doors, I became excited about all the opportunities awaiting me that week. I enjoyed seeing old friends, making new ones, and reconnecting with people I don't see throughout the year. However, one person stopped me as I walked through the conference hall. She proceeded to boast about her accomplishments and how God had blessed her that year.
While part of me was happy to hear of all the ways God worked in her life, part of me grew jealous. As she talked about all the ways God had blessed her, God didn't bless me in the same areas. He had shut doors of opportunities that I thought would come my way.
Additionally, it had been a tough year for me because of turmoil and strife in ministry and marriage. God hadn't given me the same career opportunities he had given her. At that moment, it was difficult for me to love and rejoice with her. I began to bubble up with anger over her words. If I hadn't been going through such a tough season, it would have been easy for me to rejoice with her and all the ways God had blessed her, but because of the blissful way she expressed herself, it made me feel as if God loved her more than me.
At that moment, I felt forgotten, unseen, and unheard.
As we scroll our social media feeds, it is easy to become discontent with our own lives. Because social media is a highlight reel, we often see the good parts of people's lives. Rarely, however, do we see the complex parts of people's lives. It's rare—and even inappropriate—to ramble on about your latest fight with your spouse, whether concerning your children or a challenging work situation. Yet, some people do this to get attention, approval, or likes from friends and family who only see one small piece of a much bigger puzzle.
Because of this, it is easy to hide those parts of our lives that are not going as well as we'd like. It is easy to use social media to boast about our accomplishments, which are all the ways God has blessed us. We can boast about many areas of our lives: our pristine health, perfect children, or rock-solid marriages.
But the more we boast about these areas of our lives, the more we strain relationships with others. The more we boast, the more we become people who brag about our accomplishments rather than remaining raw and vulnerable about the good and bad parts of our lives, and the more people will not want to be around us. People can only take so much when they see a person they think is perfect getting another blessing in life. It is quite another for them to stick with them through the hard times when they are the ones going through a challenging situation.
When we love others, we need to strive not to boast about our "perfect" lives. When we do this, we strain our relationships and choose to love ourselves rather than others.
If you find you are being more boastful than you ought, here are some ways to instill humility in your life:
Take a Social Media Fast
If you find boastfulness or pride is a problem in your heart, take a break from social media. Refrain from posting about anything in your life for a designated timeframe or take a break from looking at social media altogether. The more we look at social media, the more apt we are to become competitive with others. When we see our friends boasting about their perfect lives, it is tempting for us to want to do the same. We want to keep up with the Joneses in every aspect. We want the same likes and approval that people give to others. We sometimes can become enslaved to the approval of others, ruining our relationship with God.
Jesus, however, used his life as a ministry. He didn't boast about himself but only about his father's love and desire for us to know him intimately. Although Jesus did many miracles throughout the earth, he didn't boast about them to others. There were moments during the early parts of his ministry where he told people not to tell other people what had just happened. This is because he knew that persecution would come more quickly than God's timing. But he also wanted to exercise humility and know that his miracles were only done because he was one with the Father.
Social media can distort our perceptions, making us think everyone else's lives are better than ours. When we post our accomplishments, possessions, or loving relationships, we place our identity in the world rather than God. Take a break from social media and see how much it changes your attitude toward yourself and others.
Rejoice with Others
Part of developing humility in our lives is rejoicing with others we believe have more than us. For example, if we are struggling with a prodigal child in our lives, make a point to rejoice with others whose kids are getting full scholarships to college or are walking with the Lord. The more we choose to rejoice with others who have been blessed in an area of their lives that we have not, the more joy and hope we choose rather than jealousy and competition.
If you find you cannot rejoice with people who are doing better than you, ask yourself why this is. Count your blessings and see how your perspective needs to change in many ways. God has blessed you more abundantly than you could ever imagine. But it is easy to overlook these things if those ways are not as grandiose as other people’s. It is especially easy to ignore if you are not posting about those good things on social media while everyone else is.
Be someone who loves others even when your life is not going as well as you'd like. Be the person who applauds when others get awards or promotions, especially when you've struggled to receive a raise at work. Be happy for someone whose kids are doing well, even if your child is no longer walking with the Lord or with whom you have a strained relationship. When we do this, we exhibit humility and know that God is with us through our trials. We also know that success is not predicated upon how well our lives are going. Instead, we can boast about who God is.
Tell Your Testimony
One of the best ways to achieve humility and give God glory is to share our testimony. If we are going through a difficult time, be bold and share it with others. Tell people how your life has not been going well but how God has redeemed it. God gets the glory when we tell our stories of his redemption and renewal. We set our minds and hearts on God's goodness rather than our accomplishments, and we also allow others to come alongside us and support us. In all these ways, God is glorified, and when we share vulnerably with others, we show people that our lives are not perfect, but with God, all things are possible.
In this social media-driven world, it is easy to boast about our lives. Make an appointment to rid yourself of boasting and pride and instead exude humility and vulnerability when you share with others. The more you tend to share about the problematic parts of your life, the easier it will be for others to share about their raw parts. When you do, you can come alongside and support someone who needs help, even if their lives look perfect on the outside.
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