I found that Christ did not berate me for my jumbled emotions—instead, He helped me sort them out.
Every fall, the leaves on the trees demonstrate the art of letting go. While I mourn the loss of the beauty of foliage, I know this process is necessary for the health of the tree. Deciduous trees must shed their leaves for the safety of the plant—especially in northern climates. If leaves remained on the tree, the weight of snow or ice on the foliage could cause tree limbs to break. The falling leaves provide extra nutrients for the soil, permitting the tree to grow stronger in the next season. Shedding leaves enables the tree to have a fresh start in the spring.
So what can we learn from trees about the art of letting go?
Lately, my life has had an extra serving of chaos. Family crises and health problems have increased my anxiety levels and decreased my ability to sleep.
During some of those sleepless nights, I have heard the Holy Spirit’s gentle invitation to let go.
Let Go of My Plans
This past summer I had a deadline for a big project. I had been working on this project all year long and felt confident I could complete it by the August 31st deadline. Then I decided to work a bit harder during the month of July and turn it in early so I could have the month of August to recharge my professional batteries. I had plans to relax.
However, at the end of July, my 91-year-old mother had a health crisis. She now needed to move out of the home she had lived in for sixty-five years and into a facility that offered more support.
All my plans for a month of relaxation were tossed in the garbage can. I now spent my time touring assisted living facilities, choosing one, and moving some of her precious belongings into her new apartment.
I made many trips from my home to hers, driving 250 miles each way. My siblings also came from across the country, and together we cleaned out sixty-five years’ worth of memories and put the house up for sale.
I wanted to hold on to my plans for a much-needed month of refreshing, but that was impossible. The Holy Spirit gently nudged me to let go. Truth be told, I often struggle with this. Once I've made plans, I want to hold on to them. I don’t want to release them.
But the Spirit reminded me that I can trust God’s plans. King David wrote these encouraging words during a period of danger and uncertainty in his life:
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life" (Psalm 143:8).
God whispered, “Let go of your plans. Loosen your grip on the schedule you’ve laid out. Trust me because I love you more than you can imagine.”
Let Go of My Desire to Control
I always tell people I am a recovering control freak. God has been working for years to get me to unclench my hands on my desire to manage my life. And sometimes He reminds me of my limited ability to engineer events.
For instance, this summer I thought I could govern how I spent my time, but the situation with my mother demonstrated how little control I actually had. The more I tried to orchestrate events, the more things fell apart.
This inability to control increased my anxiety. All of the details of moving my mother to a new apartment, holding an estate sale, finding buyers for the house, and investigating her long-term-care insurance policy continually swirled in my head—especially at night.
Again, God whispered through the chaos—this time through the words of 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV):
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Some other versions say, “Throw all your anxiety onto him” (CEB) or “Leave all your worries with him” (GNT). God invites us to let go of our anxiety—often brought on by a desire to control. God gently told me, “Let go. I know you have a lot to handle. I see the heavy load you carry right now. But let Me hold all those concerns. Place all those problems and details into My hands. I’ll give you the wisdom and strength you need to complete each daunting task.”
Let Go of Anger
As August progressed, I realized I wouldn’t get any time to relax. Instead of letting go, I started balling up my fists in anger. The situation forced me to let go of my plans. It strong-armed me into letting go of my fairy-tale idea of control. So instead, I started clutching resentment. I grasped onto bitterness.
However, this approach did not help my anxiety levels. It didn’t give any peace. Worry, anger, and resentment only led to more exhaustion and sleepless nights.
Eventually, I started to follow the psalmist’s advice in Psalm 62:5-8:
"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge" (emphasis added).
I can find rest in God. One way to obtain this rest is by pouring out my heart to Him. I began a daily practice of prayer journaling. I poured out all my emotions—even the messy ones. God graciously said, “I am your refuge. You can find a safe place for your feelings in Me.”
A study at UCLA found that naming our disturbing emotions decreases the activity in the amygdala—the part of the brain that processes fear. At the same time, this practice increases the activity in the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that processes emotions and helps us make decisions. In other words, naming our anxieties, disappointments, and sadness can actually calm our brains and help us deal with the chaos going on in there.
I found that naming my messy emotions did help, but taking all those complicated feelings to God and placing them in His loving hands gave the added benefit of receiving the Holy Spirit’s comfort and wisdom. I found that Christ did not berate me for my jumbled emotions—instead, He helped me sort them out.
Open My Hands to Receive God’s Blessings
When I finally released my grip on my plans, my ability to control, and my emotions, I could open my hands to receive God’s blessings.
Psalm 143:6 says, "I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land."
As I started to let go and lived more openhanded, I became more aware of God’s presence. He gave me the strength to move my mother’s belongings to her new home. He gave me wisdom in dealing with financial decisions. He comforted and quieted my mind when I couldn’t stop the spinning thoughts.
Without letting go of its leaves, a tree could lose some of its limbs. Without letting go of my plans, I risk losing out on God’s amazing purposes for my life.
Without letting go of its foliage in the fall, a tree would miss out on nutrients imparted by the decomposing leaves. Without letting go of control, I could miss out on the spiritual growth gained through trusting God in hard places.
Without letting go of its leaves, a tree cannot have a fresh start in the spring. If I don’t let go of my constricting emotions, I can miss out on the Spirit’s refreshing work in my soul.
Let’s act like a tree and learn to let go.
Photo Credit: ©unsplash
Sharla Fritz is a Christian author and speaker who weaves honest and humorous stories into life-changing Bible study. Author of the new book Measured by Grace: How God Defines Success, Sharla writes about God’s transforming grace and unfailing love. Sharla lives in the Chicago suburbs with her amusing pastor husband. Get her FREE ebook 21 Five-Minute Soul-Rest Practices or connect with Sharla at www.sharlafritz.com and Facebook.
