"Love is the answer to all of life’s struggles" is a pretty bold statement, don’t you think? If we could participate in activities that we love with the people we love 24/7 365 days a year, that would work, right? After all, the two top definitions of love are: “feel deep affection for (someone)” and “like or enjoy very much.” So there you have it! We just need to do what we love with the people we love all the time and all our problems will disappear! Yay! Well, that was fun for a moment, but the reality is, life is not fun and games all day every day. So then, how exactly can love be the answer to all of life’s struggles?
As believers, the first and most obvious answer is God’s eternal love for us. Love certainly is a powerful emotion, but God’s love is on a whole other level! Think back to when you first fell in love with someone. No matter how bad a day you were having or what you were struggling with, just thinking about the person you love and how much they love you would seem to make the difficult circumstances fade. Or for moms who have experienced pregnancy, the love you have for your precious baby reignites every time you feel his/her kicks and, suddenly, a bad day doesn’t seem so bad anymore. Have you ever thought about God’s love for you in that way on a good day, let alone a bad day? I confess I’m not sure I have…
What if we carried God’s love with us each and every day in the same manner we did in the throes of falling in love with someone or carrying our little one to term? Can you imagine how the struggles in life would not affect us as much if we lived in the amazing love God has for us?
I saw a quote by Lysa Terkeurst that says, “The more we trust God to do what only He can do, the less we will resist Him. The less we resist Him, the less we will suffer with anxiety about the unknown.” This resonated with and convicted me so much. In order to trust the Lord, we must understand and accept His unconditional love for us. In doing so, we will not be “afraid” of His will. Maybe I’m only speaking for myself, but I admit that I can be anxious about what His will is for me.
Since anxiety has been a struggle for me most of my life, if I would allow myself to feel God’s love and truly soak up that love, I would be able to apply Lysa’s quote, which would answer the tension I can have of “I know God can, but will he?”. If we immerse ourselves in the love of God, then His love will answer all of life’s struggles whether difficult relationships, wayward children, financial struggles, sickness, or even facing death.
On the flip side, how can we love others well? When we are constantly annoyed with, fighting with, or having people in our lives who rub us the wrong way, we will struggle in life and not find joy so easily.
The Apostle Paul outlines how love is the answer to these types of struggles in this passage from Colossians 3:12-14, “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”
Let’s look at some practical ways we can let our love for others be the answer to our struggles:
When my husband and I go on our daily walks, we use the outdoor walk app on our Smartwatches to monitor our heart rate. I don’t know if we are competing with each other, but I always feel a sense of accomplishment when we report our current heart rate and mine is lower than his. Lol. I love it when I get the semi-annual heart check report from my watch that shows the trending health of my heart which, thankfully, is always good, and I can be reassured that my cardiovascular system is running optimally.
However, if I were to do a “heart” check, I’m not sure I’d feel a sense of pride, especially lately… I’m ashamed to admit that I have entered my “complaining era” where people tend to get on my nerves and I just seem annoyed about everything. Luke 6:45 says, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." With that verse as a heart check, clearly my “heart” is not performing well. As I run the “diagnostics”, I can see that this is not a "them" problem, it is a "me" problem. I am struggling with irritation because I want people and/or circumstances to fall in line with what I want. As a result, I am struggling with a lack of inner peace. Colossians 3:15 says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart”.
If you struggle like me, take heart (see what I did there!). 1 John 1:9 gives us a starting point, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". Then walk in the admonition to “have compassion and bear with one another.”
When you check your heart and administer the “cure,” your heart will be ruled by the peace of Christ, and you will no longer struggle with frustration over others' actions.
Does anyone look forward to having to confront someone? No, I didn’t think so. This can be especially hard if it's someone who is hurting us, but we don’t want to ruffle any feathers in the relationship. So then we find ourselves resentful of the behaviors without lovingly confronting the person with our concerns. If we continue in our struggle with resenting someone, we may find ourselves becoming bitter. So now, not only has this person hurt us, but we are now hurting ourselves because we did not speak out of love in the first place.
When we approach someone at the first sign of offense, we are loving that person, allowing them to have a space to speak. It could be that what we interpreted as an offense the other person didn’t mean at all or didn’t even realize they were doing. The quicker we speak out of love, the less likely we will go down the slippery slope to bitterness and allow love to redirect us from that course.
How do we speak out of love? With humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness.
When we speak out of love we no longer struggle with resentment and bitterness.
How exactly do we “put” on love? Shouldn’t love be part of who we are already? Aren’t we new creations in Christ Jesus who love others as Christ loves us? Sadly, earthside, we are still prone to wander and prone to sin. Loving others does not always come naturally, does it?
Colossians 3:15-17 gives us instructions on how to put on love: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”
As we looked at earlier, we don’t always “let” the peace of Christ rule in our hearts because we are behaving in an unloving manner. When we put on love, the peace of Christ will rule our hearts.
When we study the Word of God and apply it to our lives, love will be a natural byproduct.
Keeping Christ at the forefront of our minds in all that we say and do will manifest itself in love.
When we put on love, we will no longer struggle with selfish desires that ultimately cause so much discontent.
The hymn May the Mind of Christ, My Savior, by Kate Barclay Wilkinson, sums up how love is the answer to all of life’s struggles:
"May the mind of Christ, my Savior,
live in me from day to day,
by His love and pow'r controlling
all I do and say."
"May the word of God dwell richly
in my heart from hour to hour,
so that all may see I triumph
only through His pow'r."
"May the peace of God my Father
rule my life in everything,
that I may be calm to comfort
sick and sorrowing."
"May the love of Jesus fill me
as the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing:
this is victory."
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/AleksandarNakic
Karen Del Tatto is a blogger, author, women's ministry leader, pastor's wife, mom, and grandmother who is passionate about the Word of God. Her blog Growing Together in Grace and Knowledge and her books Choosing to Trust God: Breaking the Habit of Worry, A 30-Day Devotional and Choosing to Trust God Companion Journal reveal her heart for providing Biblical insights to encourage women to grow in and through their struggles while equipping them to overcome. Karen and her husband live in Rhode Island and enjoy walks in the woods, owling, and spending time with their grandchildren.