Filled with trepidation, I took the arduous journey back to my hometown. I was nearly 500 miles away from home, just two months into my freshman year of college when I received the dreaded phone call. “Your mother isn’t doing well. You need to come home right away.” On that long bus ride home with nothing more than my thoughts to keep me occupied, I did a lot of talking to God. I begged God to let my mother be okay. I tried to strike a bargain with God. I even made some harsh promises about what I would do if God allowed my mother to die.
At the tender age of 18, that was my first big encounter with doubting God’s goodness. Would a good God allow this young mother to die, leaving two young girls to grow up motherless? Would a good God not allow a mother to see her children develop: to see them graduate, get jobs, get married, and have babies of their own? Would a good God do that? While that was my first major recollection of doubting God’s goodness, it certainly wasn’t my last.
Have you ever been there with me, doubting the goodness of God? It’s one of the most often asked questions by both believers and non-believers in Christ, “If God is good, why does He allow bad things to happen?” And not only is this an age-old question, but there are great minds that have sought the answer. Theodicy is a theological construct which seeks to provide a defense for the goodness of God. It seeks to explain why a perfectly good, almighty and omnipotent God would permit the existence of evil. From children to theologians, it’s a question most of humankind has wrestled with.
Perhaps you’ve heard the popular Christian call and response, “God is good all the time. And all the time God is good!” It can be quite a challenge to believe that when all we see around us is heartbreak, calamity, and lack. These type of statements can feel like cheap, discount platitudes when staring into the face of hardship. The truth is we will all face things that make us doubt the goodness of God, but when confronted with these hardships, how will we respond?
Smack in the middle of our attempts to profess God’s goodness, our declaration can be challenged. Such was the case for pastor and worship leader Cristabel Clack. Clack sings lead on a song called “Goodness of God”. At the time of the recording, she was going through her own storm. Her fourth baby had been born with encephalocele, a condition in which the brain tissue grows outside of the skull. Clack shares that her initial response to the diagnosis was one of devastating heartbreak. She said she cried for days. She recounts that she was able to combat the doubt by reminding herself of God’s track record of goodness. Like Cristabel, let us be reminded of His stellar record. And not only that, let us receive this truth that His goodness toward us is abundant. Psalm 31:19 tells us, “Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!”
Let’s clear up this other thought that may be silently stalking you. You do not have to be good in order to deserve or earn God’s goodness. If you’ve ever felt that way, let me assure you that no matter what we’ve done or where we’ve gone, God loves us. His goodness is not contingent upon who we are and what we do. His goodness is a gift He freely and liberally dispenses based on His abounding love for us. He is good and He does good (Psalm 119:68). Additionally, there is no shame in the Christian doubting God’s goodness. What did the father say whose son was possessed? He believed Jesus was able to heal his son yet he said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24. And in the midst of this father’s doubt, Jesus healed his son. So even if we are teetering on the edge of doubt, Jesus can still demonstrate His goodness toward us.
Here are a few practical strategies to employ for when you are doubting God’s goodness:
God’s nature doesn’t change. It is not based on a feeling but is rooted in the truth of who God is. So to effectively manage doubting God’s goodness, we must meditate on the truth of who He is and what His Word says. Just because I may feel like my life is difficult right now, this doesn’t mean God is not good. Which is why we are encouraged to taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). Sometimes life experiences leave a bad taste in our mouths, but praise be to God for a taste of the Lord’s goodness.
Not only are we invited to taste and see, but we are told in Psalm 26:3, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” In his commentary, Charles Spurgeon says of Psalm 23:6, “This is a fact as indisputable as it is encouraging, and therefore a heavenly verily, or 'surely' is set as a seal upon it.” So the scripture seals it: goodness is certainly with us. If goodness and mercy are following us everyday, we need to be on the lookout for them always. God’s goodness is here right now, nipping at our heels, following us. So meditate on the truth of His Word and position yourself to see goodness.
Perspective is an interesting tool. It allows you to see things from different vantage points. But to see through eyes of faith, and not eyes of doubt, requires us to adopt God's perspective. We have to train our eyes to see from an eternal perspective, from a perspective of a wise God and from a perspective that acknowledge’s God’s love for us.
When we shift perspective, we will see goodness right in front of our eyes!
The Lord told Moses, “And he said, 'I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name "The LORD." And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.'” Exodus 33:19
Let’s shift our perspective from our disappointment and hurt to God’s proven track record. Let us look at all the times He’s been faithful. Let us look at all the times He’s shown His goodness by rescuing us, delivering us, healing us, protecting us, and providing for us. Let us keep our perspective on our big God whose goodness is ever-present.
Even in his darkest hours, David fought to see God’s goodness. When confronted with jealousy, hostility, and enemies encroaching, he declared the truth of who God was and what God could do. In the face of imminent danger, David praised the Lord. In Psalm 57, we find David hiding from Saul in a cave, yet while there, he gave thanks and praised the Lord. When we offer up our praise, we take our eyes off our situation and place them on God. No matter where we go, nor how gloomy it gets, our souls can boast in the Lord, boldly proclaiming His goodness.
An essential key for handling doubt when it comes to the goodness of God is prayer. Prayer turns our hearts towards God. It is through prayer that we bring our will into alignment with His. And it is in prayer that we can lament and cry out with our questions, doubts, fears, and struggles. It is also in the place of prayer that we receive assurance, peace, and answers.
Let us pray,
Most gracious and merciful God, I thank you. You are my Lord and your love for me is steadfast, sure, and true. Father, there are times when I struggle: struggle to see your goodness amid all the negativity, struggle to see your Word being fulfilled when all I see is chaos all around. May your truth speak louder than my doubt. You are good and you do good. Lord, help me to be anchored in your Word which says you are good to those who wait on you. May I have eyes to see your goodness in the land of the living. Oh Lord, let me taste and see that you are good. You are the Father of all that which is good and you give good gifts to me, your child. Your goodness chases me down. It overtakes me. May I avail myself to receive it.
In Jesus’ Name I pray,
Amen.
I just want you to know, as soon as I set foot off that bus, my father was there awaiting me. I hadn’t even spoken to my dad, so I knew what his presence at the station meant. My mother was gone. And tragic though it was for an 18-year-old to grapple with, I must tell you that God has been faithful to His word. And even though I doubted His goodness, I can see now that even in the midst of the severe heartache that comes with losing a parent, He’s been good to me. While I have immensely missed having my mother at my wedding, birthday’s, and holidays, her passing helped shape my character. I am a more compassionate and humble human being. I am a more tenacious and resilient person because of it. And I know firsthand that God truly does work all things together for the good. As you look over the footprints of your life, may you have eyes to see His goodness at every step of the journey.
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Tyra Lane-Kingsland is a speaker, Women’s Ministry Director and author of the book Purposeful Parenting. She enjoys facilitating the classes she’s developed on parenting and Health & Wellness. It is her assertion that health is wealth and believes that optimal health is achieved through proper nourishment, rest and exercise. Tyra is an attentive wife and mother of six. Knowing that God causes all things to work together for good, she is on a passionate pursuit to see women inspired to live fully!