“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22 (KJV)
If there’s one commandment that’s hard to follow, it is God’s instruction to forgive and love our enemies. Whether we’ve been subjected to insults and mockery, shamed in public, swindled of our hard-earned money, or stabbed in the back by trusted friends and loved ones, to forgive and love those who left us reeling from their sly deceit and heartless deeds is like going through the wringer.
As flawed humans, our initial reaction is to explode in fits of anger and retaliate, subjecting those who harmed us to the same kind of anguish and torment they put us through.
Thus, even we Christians who are called to “turn the other cheek” (Matthew 5:39 NKJV) when wronged have a rough time living up to this God-given command.
Nonetheless, even though following such a directive may be a tough nut to crack, loving one’s enemies can be downright doable for Christians who have reached spiritual maturity in their faith.
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 (NIV)
Through the years, I have come across different approaches Christians use to make it easier for them to love the people they loathe.
For instance, one kind-hearted, well-loved woman once shared that whenever she felt a surging hostility towards someone, she tried to appease her rage by reminding herself that the person she detested was once upon a time an infant, a helpless, innocent, and angelic-looking bundle of joy who could do no wrong.
A few years back, I remember holding a grudge against my younger brother for having yelled at me as if I were a little child—this happened during and after a very tense moment as I made a clumsy move while maneuvering the car, sending us in the wrong direction. The yelling and angry reaction were justified considering the situation I put us through— but to continue yelling and reprimanding me after we were out of danger was all too much for me to bear.
You see, my brother is a good man with a temper. He somehow managed to treat me with respect for years despite being a hothead. It’s the first time he raised his voice towards me, berating me as if I were a child. So, imagine my shock as he screamed at me-- every outburst, each piercing criticism stabbed my heart like a dagger.
I did not speak to him for days on end after the incident—but then I remembered what the woman shared: when feelings of anger start to bubble on the surface, we must remind ourselves that the people we feel hostility to were once innocent, feeble, and vulnerable little babies.
So, then I recalled how I held our youngest brother in my arms when he was just a tiny tot, his angelic face, those tiny arms and feet, and his hilarious baby laughs. Pondering those cherished moments with my brother, I couldn’t help but let out a sigh; all was well again in the world. My love for my brother eclipsed his offenses. Like you’d figure, my grudges dissolved in a snap; I finally accepted his apologies.
And then, we also have those who, in their struggle to forgive, remind themselves of Jesus—mediating, pleading with God the Father to forgive those in the crowd who were taunting and mocking Him, all while agonizing in pain on Calvary’s hill—Luke 23-34 (NKJV). Thus, if God can forgive the most abhorrent people you can ever come across, who are we not to extend mercy and forgiveness to those who mistreat us?
Others, however, call to mind the many times they’ve received forgiveness from God—a compelling reason to love and forgive our foes “seventy times seven” Matthew 18:21-22 (KJV).
And then, some remind themselves that Jesus died for all, realizing that the person we’re set on avenging, the very person we are driven to settle the score with, is someone Jesus shed His blood for. He endured the agonizing pain on the cross so this person whom we loathe can receive eternal life.
This realization must stop us in our tracks and prompt us to reflect and examine our feelings, choices, and actions toward those who have wronged us.
“But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Matthew 5:44 (KJV)
You may say that forgiving the unforgivable is way too impossible. As you know, it’s easy for us to forgive as long as the offenses done against us wouldn’t see us crashing to the ground, leaving us beaten and emotionally bruised to the core.
Nonetheless, with all the ways we could think of to make it easier for us to forgive, there’s one that stands out from the rest: having a passion for God, a deep, genuine, and boundless love for the Almighty.
Our ability to obey the Lord’s commands, such as forgiving our enemies, hinges on the depth of love we have for God.
That’s why Jesus said: “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15).
It is for this reason that we’re instructed to love God. It’s not for selfish reasons that God requires us to love Him above all else; it’s actually for our own good. Because by “loving the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind, and with all our strength,” Mark 12:30 (NKJV) we are more than able to triumph over our fallen nature, able to forgive and extend mercy to our most bitter foes.
We can attribute such a feat not only to the empowering work of the Holy Spirit, who lives mightily within every believer, but also because love purifies the heart; a genuine love has a way of removing the darkness from our soul, allowing God’s light to shine through.
As such, it’s written:
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV)
In light of this, I remember a woman who was asked how she could possibly love her stepchild when the latter detested and hated her. She answered, “because her father loved her deeply. When you truly love someone, having affection for his loved ones feels like the most natural thing in the world.”
In the same manner, when God has a hold on our hearts, loving others, even those we resent most, becomes second nature. Clearly, pure love purifies the heart, and love cures all ills. The transformative power of love is so potent that it can even “cover a multitude of sins” 1 Peter 4:8 (NKJV).
Thus, the antidote for unforgiveness is loving the One from whom pure love flows, penetrating our hearts, purifying our souls, and enabling us to keep loving others with the love with which God has loved us.
Photo Credit: ©Pexels/Jean-Daniel Francoeur