Struggling to Surrender to God

Amber Ginter

Making the jump from teaching to full-time authorship wasn't easy, but it was a decision I felt the Lord asking me to make. I knew I was called to write full-time for years, but I didn't know how to achieve that goal. Now that things are happening, I've wrestled with a deeper problem: How to continually surrender to God when a blank canvas is before you. 

Surrendering to God is part of the Christian faith. We know this because countless times Scripture reminds us of our need to repent, turn from sin, and crucify our selfish desires so that we may be attuned to the will of God. Surrender isn't just a common struggle people face when fully trusting God in the beginning of their faith but as they grow and develop in their walk with Him too. 

While many of us would like surrender to be a one-and-done phenomenon, it just isn't. Surrender is something required day after day. It's a continual, progressive, and life-long pursuit of chipping away at the self until all that's left is Christ and His desires for us. 

Understanding Surrender to God 

In Mere Christianity, writer, scholar, and theologian C.S. Lewis pens these words: "Christ says 'Give me All. I don't want so much of your time, and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. . . Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked--the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.’"

To understand surrender, we have to define the task itself: Letting go of control and yielding to Christ's plan—no matter the cost. Matthew 16:24-26 provides a further explanation: "Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?" (KJV).

Surrender means trusting God with our whole selves (Romans 12:1-2). It looks like obedience in word and deed when things are easy and when they aren't. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us that surrender requires compliance even when we don't understand.

C.S. Lewis continues his take on surrender this way: "The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self--all your wishes and precautions--to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead.  For what we are trying to do is to remain what we call 'ourselves', to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be 'good'. We are all trying to let our mind and heart go their own way--centered on money or pleasure or ambition--and hoping, in spite of this, to behave honestly and chastely and humbly. And this is exactly what Christ warned us you could not do. As He said, a thistle cannot produce figs."

Surrender is hard. But as C.S. Lewis explains, surrender is easier than holding tightly to things we were meant to let go of. It's only when we submit these desires to the Lord and trade our human lives for one transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit that we will find what we've been looking for all along.

While there are many examples of surrender in the Scriptures, Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane and Abraham's willingness to sacrifice Isaac are two of the most profound. In Matthew 26:36-46, Jesus' desires matched God's. We often have a misconception that surrender means God will make you do things you hate. I spent years wrestling with the idea of getting out of teaching because I was fearful it was God's will, and I was being selfish. But friends, the desires God's given us should and can bring us joy.

If we believe in Jesus and fully trust Him with our lives, our hearts and desires should align with His. Yes, He might ask you to do scary and confusing things, but never without reason or cause. Just look at Jesus and Abraham.

Jesus died on the cross for our sins because He loved us and trusted that God must have something better for Him. It wasn't pretty, enjoyable, or fun for Him to endure. But He surrendered His life to the point of death for us.

Meanwhile, Abraham had been promised a son. And not just any son, but a son through which his descendants would be named. When God asked him to put Isaac on the altar as a sacrifice, he didn't falter. Abraham knew what God had promised but also trusted if this was God's plan He must have something better in store.

In both of these examples of surrender, we learn that faith plays a role. Surrender isn't just about blind obedience but steadfast trust and unwavering respect. It's trusting God's goodness and sovereignty that as we grow in our relationship with Him, the desires of our hearts will match His.

Reasons People Struggle to Surrender

Despite our need for confidence, many of us still struggle. From the fear of the unknown to the human drive to be independent, trusting someone we can't see with the naked eye and giving them entire control over our lives is petrifying. We fear making mistakes, what happens when we doubt, and what really happens when we loosen our grip.

One of my sweet friends, Josie, founder of the Confetti Cake Project, writes her honest struggles with surrender this way: "Dear God, I am afraid to open my clenched fists. Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold onto? Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands? Please help me gradually open my hands and discover that I am not my own but what you give to me."
 
If you struggle with surrender, please know you're not alone. While it might seem scary, the cost of not surrendering can be even more detrimental. If you're resisting surrender, you might struggle with:
 

-a lack of peace and fulfillment.
-a disconnect between God's purpose for you and your efforts to control life.
-a strained relationship with God, others, and your spiritual growth. 

Why? True joy, peace, and purpose are only found when we exchange our desires for God's will because He knows best.

Here are a few steps to help you overcome this struggle:
 
1. Realize that surrender doesn’t mean throwing your dreams out the window. 
While surrendering to God does require us to submit our desires to the Lord, that doesn't mean we have to throw our deepest dreams and desires out the window. If you're a follower of Jesus and committed to His will, He's given you those dreams and desires for a reason. They aren't wasted, but they must be in accordance and prioritized with His will.

No matter what we do, our relationship with God has to trump every other desire. There are many good things we're each called to do. From writing books to being doctors or attending mission trips. But if God isn't at the center of what we do and why we do it, everything around us will quickly falter (Matthew 22:37).

2. Know that God asks us to surrender for our good. 
It sounds obvious but, sometimes, it's comforting to know that God only asks us to surrender to Him because that's what's best for us. Not only is surrender a sign of strength, but it reminds us that God's plans for us are always better than we could ask, think, or imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21).
In Romans 8:28 and Genesis 50:20, we're reminded that in all things God's plan for each of us is for our good so that God may be magnified and glorified through us. We can know this truth by praying a simple prayer like this:

"Dear God, as much as these desires are within me, I surrender to you. If it isn't your will, I don't want it. Please strengthen me as I learn to trust in your plan for me and bring me peace amidst the great anxiety I face. Help me cultivate a deeper trust in my relationship with you and know with confidence that you only ask me to surrender because you know what I need before I do. I trust you with all I am and ask you to help me in this process. I love you, Lord. Amen."

3. Focus on God's promises. 
At the end of the day, one of the most practical steps you can take to counter the struggle to surrender is to remind yourself of God’s faithfulness and love.

Here are some truths to speak over yourself today:
 

-Matthew 16:24- Following Jesus is a cost worth taking.
-Ephesians 6:10-18- Surrender might be scary, but we are well-equipped, and God's given us everything we need to stand.
-1 Peter 5:6-10- True strength comes from surrender, not control.
-Romans 8:28- God works all things together for our good.
-Psalm 139- God created us, knows everything about us, and wants what's best for us.

Small Steps Toward Greater Trust

Though the process of surrender may always be a struggle for me, I'm taking small steps to overcome it. Some days that means relinquishing control over daily choices, while others, it means asking God to pry things from my tightly clenched fists.

The importance of surrender in our walk with the Lord is challenging, but some rewards come with trusting God fully. As we learn to take practical steps towards surrendering our lives to God, no matter what, we will grow closer to Him and the abundant life He desires for each of us.

How will you surrender to God this week? I invite you to pray and commit to surrendering to God in one small way.

Let me know how it goes and how I can best support you through this process.

Agape, Amber
 
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Suwaree Tangbovornpichet

Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up Amber looked for faith and mental health resources and found none. Today, she offers hope for young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond simply reading your Bible and praying more. Because you can love Jesus and still suffer from anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith lens perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.