"But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what He has promised. I trust in God, so why could I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me" (Psalms 56:3-4, NLT)?
A couple of months ago, I saw an opportunity to attend a writing retreat in Tennessee. Though I couldn't find anyone to participate with me, the host was gracious enough to let me come and stay offsite with my husband. This was a win-win situation.
However, with the changing seasons, I came down with a horrible cold. Sneezy, coughing, and chills were in my future. To prepare for the trip, I continually rested and mustered my strength to endure the 7-hour drive. We made it to Sevierville, TN feeling crummy. But I believed God wanted me to attend this trip for a reason. I just didn't know what it was yet.
Arriving at the campsite triggered my anxiety. Here I was face-to-face with twenty other women I didn't know. Though I tried to be myself, I felt intimidated by their success. They all appeared to have it all together. They all looked like they knew what they were doing, where they were going, and how to achieve their goals. It wasn't until the third day that I realized they didn't. These women—from all walks and phases of life—were more like me than I thought.
Friday afternoon, after one of our mastermind sessions, I saw a woman who looked more like me. She wasn't wearing much makeup, and her hair wasn't perfectly styled, but I was drawn to her kindred spirit. I'd already made plans to talk to another woman in a few minutes, but the Holy Spirit told me to stop and listen. This was more important.
As I approached her, it was evident this was a divine connection. We shared what we were writing about and where we felt the Lord leading us this season. There was no pushing or prodding. There was no power or prestige. It was just two women of God pouring their hearts into one another. The more we spoke, the more I knew God was in this moment.
Before I knew it, we were spilling deep and dark, real and raw things we'd experienced. She shared her experiences with clinical depression and medication, and I shared my chaotic home life and bouts with clinical anxiety and depressing moods. I could sense the hesitation and shame in her eyes. I could see that sharing this was hard for her. When I told her I understood how she felt and could relate, her words shocked me: "You do?"
After our conversation, I spoke to the other woman I'd made a meeting with. It also didn't go as planned. I'd shortened our time and felt bad about that, but I knew God was in this. There was a reason the Spirit told me to change and adapt my original plans in exchange for His.
The next morning, the woman I took time to speak with asked if she could call me. She not only poured truth and encouragement into my life, but prayed for me, and told me God woke her up numerous times that night thinking of me. I was in awe. Our meeting wasn't planned, yet in listening to the Spirit, abundance overflowed. The words she spoke were exactly what I needed to hear, and I wept.
I wept because of the goodness of God.
I wept because someone was pouring into me when I needed it most.
I wept because God's faithfulness in this season has been poured out in full and is running over.
I wept because a fellow writer made connections on my behalf. After all, she felt led by the Spirit to do so.
I wept because how many times have I made my plans to talk to someone but ignored His calling to diverge from my plans and pursue His call?
I wept because I realized I don't deserve any of these blessings, this calling to authorship, yet the Lord is fulfilling what He has promised.
I don't know what season you're in today, but I want to encourage you that our God is the God who keeps His promises. They are never early or late, but on time. Not in our timing, but in His. Listening to the Spirit and exchanging your plans for His is terrifying. It's not easy and takes trust. But the promises God makes and the promptings He nudges in our hearts are for our good and His glory. Remember 2 Peter 3:9 (ESV): "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance."
Whether I listen or not, I'm learning that the faithfulness of God is good all of my life. It's good when I see it and good when I don't. It is good when He answers prayers how I see fit and good when He answers prayers in ways and times I don't understand. It's good when He nudges me to listen and I do, and it's good when He nudges me to listen and I don't. Even when I am not faithful, He is still true to who He is.
As you go on your way, it's my prayer that you will recall these simple truths:
"Even if we are not faithful, he remains faithful. He must be true to himself." 2 Timothy 2:13 (NIRV).
The ways of God are beyond our finite human understanding, but they are promises, and He will keep them: "God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?" (Numbers 23:19, ESV).
Friend, if you're struggling to comprehend the faithfulness of God, I encourage you to hold on. Press into hope. Believe. Trust. Listen. Endure. Cling as tightly as you can to the promises His Word preaches. In faith and due time, He answers. He delivers. He is with us until the end.
Joshua 23:14 (ESV) says it this way: "And now I am about to go the way of all the earth, and you know in your hearts and souls, all of you, that not one word has failed of all the good things that the Lord your God promised concerning you. All have come to pass for you; not one of them has failed."
Lord, you know how hard it can be for us to cling to your faithful promises. Especially when prayers seem to go unanswered, we grow weak, weary, confused, and frustrated. But God, remind us that you are with us. You see us. You see our struggles. You hear our prayers. And you keep every word. Help us recall who you are and who we are in our moments of hesitation and doubt. We praise you for what you're doing, what you've done, and what you will do. Even when we can't see it yet. Amen.
God is with you, sweet friend. His faithfulness is good from generation to generation. Every Word He says will come to pass, fulfilling what it's set forth to do.
Agape, Amber
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