We were on the way to our middle daughter’s softball game, talking about a really tough situation we had been walking through with our oldest daughter. A new issue broke through over the weekend, leaving us with more questions and an even deeper gash to our already wounded hearts.
So, after a brief and rather awkward moment of silence, my husband rolled up to a red light and turned to me with this heartbreaking comment, “We’ve done all the right things. We checked all the boxes. Right? So, why is this happening?”
I didn’t have an answer, but I felt I was compelled to say something, so I clumsily replied, “I don’t know…maybe this is beyond us, and we need more help.” He grabbed my hand, we put on a brave face, and then we entered those softball fields like nothing was going on—feeling like complete phonies.
Yet, God has an uncanny way of putting us exactly where we need to be for a reason. That day, on those uncomfortable softball stadium bleachers, one of my oldest daughter’s friends approached me and said she was thinking about our family and had been praying for us. I wasn't really sure where that came from, at least not at first. But then I knew. God was moving behind the scenes and gave me a dose of compassion and comfort.
My heart sank. I had been supposedly doing “all the right things” and even praying for my daughter, but that 16-year-old’s simple and sincere statement called me out. At that very moment, I realized I was not tethered to God. I was merely floating along, lifting prayers here and there, but all in all, leaning into my own devices.
While God was not my first response, and sadly had become pretty much my last resort, He still met me at that softball game. He reached out through my daughter’s friend, reminding me to come to Him! He was telling me to trust Him, to abide in Him, and to surrender all so that He could provide the help I needed.
Maybe you are doing all the right things too, but barely getting by. Maybe life is confusing, and you just need a breather. Maybe you have been praying but still need a real revelation. Here is your reminder to seek Him – first.
That may look like pausing to pray first thing in the morning before you tackle your day. That could be reflecting on His promises and praying when worry creeps in rather than bending to the sinful prop that woos your name. That could be sneaking to a quiet place to pray when that all too familiar dreadful situation arises, and you want so badly to just yell and scream in anger. Seeking God first may look a little different for each of us, but it’s reaching out to Him before anything else, letting Him lead and guide you, and trusting His plan is better.
That’s not to say everything will immediately get better. Honestly, if you are a prayer warrior or even the occasional “lift up your heart kinda girl,” as I can be at times, you well know prayer doesn’t work that way. Sometimes, the situation takes a turn for the worse. Sometimes, God doesn’t answer. Sometimes, the unthinkable happens. Sometimes, you are left holding a broken heart and have no idea what to do next.
That's because prayer isn’t a magic formula; it’s about a relationship. Prayer isn’t about us or even our situation. Rather, it's all about trusting our God – with everything (Psalm 125:1-2). When we pray, and pray with an earnest heart, seeking His will and way first, something beautiful emerges. God reveals Himself. Maybe not in the way we would imagine, but always in the way we need (Philippians 4:19).
As a girl who has led a pretty clumsy prayer life, I can say that my prayers generally fall into one of three categories. Praise. Pain. Purpose. I find that I am either praising God for something incredible that He has done in my life or in the life of someone I love. I'm singing sweet Hallelujahs. Or I'm knee-deep in painful and sorrowful prayers, repenting of my sinful choices, or replaying situations that sometimes come with empty prayers and a heart that can’t seem to come up with the right words.
Then there are those other prayers that come with a different kind of pull on my heartstrings. They are sweet and tender prayers that bring forth precious moments that whisper for me to come to a place of surrender. They breathe life back into my weary soul, calm the raging sea within, and allow me to truly be in awe and wonderment at the incredible nature of our God.
These types of prayers allow us to come with a posture that holds out empty hands and a grateful heart. It’s the prayer that says, “Not my will, but Yours be done" (Luke 22:42). These are prayers with purpose. A purpose to seek Him – first and foremost (Psalm 139:4). And, when we seek God first, with purposeful prayers, three things begin to happen:
John 14:27 tells us that God gives us a different kind of peace. A kind of peace that this world cannot supply. The kind of peace that won’t come from your spouse or best friend, or even your totally amazing soul sister. While God may place certain people in our lives to speak truth, pray for us, and help us on this journey, the peace that we all desperately crave and need—that kind of unsurmountable peace that derives from within and comes out of nowhere and we just can’t explain—can only come from God! That happens when we seek God first.
Romans 15:13 reminds us that we can live with hope because we have the Holy Spirit that resides inside of us. Romans 12:12 reminds us to rejoice in hope, be steadfast in tribulation, and be constant in prayer. Two beautiful reminders here in Romans. One states that the Holy Spirit speaks on our behalf when we fail to have the words as we pray. The other calls us to lean into hope, knowing that trials will come our way (expect them), but prayer will see us through. When we seek God first, we can live with hope!
This has to be the most precious part of our prayer life and why we must ultimately make prayer our first response, as it helps us know our loving God. Our God is relational and wants to have a personal relationship with us. Just take a moment to grasp that. On our good days and our bad, God says to come to Him. Where all other relationships will fail and falter, and where flesh will make us cave to sin, our God will never fail us, leave us, or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8). His very nature is true, holy, precious, and righteous (Hebrews 13:5). And He is always reaching out a hand and telling us to take hold.
Sweet sis, when all else fails in your life and you even make God your last resort, you are still His first priority! He is always seeking you out, searching for you, willing, ready, and waiting for you to come to Him and respond. It’s never too late! That’s the beautiful thing about our God. He will give us the help we need, the peace we need, the hope we need, and everything we never even knew we wanted. We must simply place our trust in Him and seek Him first. So, go to the Father with your purposeful prayers and let Him love on you today.
God, I lift up Your sweet daughter who is reading this right now. I pray that You would stir her heart and move in her life. Meet her where she is and remind her that You have been waiting for her to come into Your loving arms. You know the situations and battles she faces; may she turn to You and trust that You see her, hear her, and will grant her the hope she needs. Amen.
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